TTC After a Loss

Dear FB friends [rant] *NB, and MC mentioned*

Dear FB friends,

To the new moms: I'm glad your baby lived, and is now an outside baby. Really, I'm thrilled for you. But I don't want daily photos of you lil precious NB littering the newsfeed I already dread most days.

To the pregnant moms: Idon't need to know "how your baby progressed" week-by-week as per Baby Center. Where is the mystery and wonder we all miss in a pregnant woman. You will have zero sympathy from me for your aches and pains, because a D&C hurt like a b?tch, and losing your baby on the bathroom floor at home 'naturally' was no picnic.

To everyone else on my feed: please stop encouraging this behaviour - you are encouraging the loss of family privacy, the posting of babies too young to be online, and the pain it causes me to see this daily reminders of what I've lost over and over again.

 

All the best to you and your families

From a TTCALer

image★´¯`•.¸¸.°¤TTCAL/PGAL/PAL Welcome,imageare not¤°.¸¸.•´¯`★image
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נשמה שבאה לעולם למספר חודשים לשהות במעי האם, היא נשמת צדיק גמור שבאה לעולם רק לתקן פגם קטן ולאחר מספר חודשים אלו היא שבה למקומה לגן עדן להתענג על ה'. לעתיד לבוא נשמה זו תוכר באחד מבנייך ובזכות נשמת צדיק זה תזכי להיות במחיצת צדיקים
TTC Since September 2011
BFP#1:Dec.1.11 EDD:Aug.09.12 MC:Jan.11.12 (9WK5D)-Natural
BFP#2:Apr.18.12 EDD:Dec.21.12 MC:May.1.12 (6WK3D)-D&C
BFP#3:Sep.12.12 - Suspected CP | BFP#4:Dec.1.12 - Suspected CP
BFP#5: Dec.26.12 EDD:Sep.10.13 MC:Jan.7.13 (4WK6D)-Natural
BFP#6: Jun.11.13 EDD:Feb.23.13 Beta: #1=8000 #2=24532 US@6wk2d showed 7wk2d size with 143BPM HR * NT US@12wk6d looked good. A/S passed with flying colors and our team color is Blue! *Grow my little Pamplemousse*!!!
pregnancy

Re: Dear FB friends [rant] *NB, and MC mentioned*

  • I understand how you feel, as I have been on both sides of the story. I had a healthy baby 2 1/2 years ago and she is the joy in my life. I got pregnant without trying and had a healthy pregnancy. I pasted pictures of her on my facebook every day, I complained of every pregnancy symptom and was totally oblivious to the fertility struggles others face. Fast forward to now, I just had my third miscarriage, one natural and 2 D and C's and I share the same feelings as you. However pregnant women and new moms are so elated with happiness that they do not recognize how others may be sensitive to their joy and complaints. I'm sorry for your struggles and I feel your pain. Best Luck in the future!
  • Amen!
    BFP#1 9/28/2012 - EDD 6/3/2013 - MMC discovered 11/21/2012 @ 12w2d - D&C 11/24/2012
    BFP#2 4/4/2013 - Born at 37w3d on 11/26/13 via emergency c-section
    Loving our beautiful rainbow baby boy Archer!
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    ~*All AL Welcome*~
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  • Totally understand. I used to be annoyed by the people that posted endless game updates and requests.  I love them now. Please blow up my newsfeed with farmville, cafe world, or whatever you are playing.  Just no more ultrasounds, no more pics of your newborn. 

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
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  • Yes
    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

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  • My main issue is the complaining. I have a zillion pregnant Facebook friends and get at least 1 complaining pregnant woman a day. The day after I miscarried I woke up to 3. Shut up. What I wouldn't give to be nauseous or have a backache. And for God's sake don't tell me you're "over it".
    image

    Lilypie - (JzKZ) Lilypie - (DgGJ)

  • Ive been on both sides of the fence now. I wish I could take back every thing I ever said when I didnt know any better. I never imagined the pain it could cause and I wish I could personally apologize to anyone who was struggling and I didnt know it :(

    Love is multiplied: DS #1: 1.5.99 ~ DS #2: 9.23.11 ~ DD 8.29.13

    m/c 11/12/12 - sleep tight baby bean.

    Bitty Baby #4, please stick around - we already love you so very much!

    Ultrasound 11/4 - TWO HEARTBEATS!!!

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  • I'm pretty sure I would have been an annoying new mom on Facebook if I had the chance... But now that I've dealt with a full year of everyone under the sun being pregnant and such on there, it will be so different. I'm sure ill still post the occasional picture or status, but I'm so much more aware.

    And, thank God for the ability to hide people on FB!
  • I was just having this conversation with a friend. I admitted that I absolutely would have been one of those women who post everything. My whole perspective is completely different now, and I know better. Too bad the same can't be said for everyone else. It sucks seeing all those announcements and photos. Sorry you're having a tough time funny bunny. ((hugs)) 
    BFP#1 8/3/12~EDD 4/1/13~Natural M/C 9/1/12-9w6d 
    BFP#2 5/30/13~EDD 2/3/14~Confirmed CP 5/31/13
    7/12/13 Hysteroscopy & Lap Lysis of Adhesions
    1st Cycle on Clomid Aug '13: BFP#3 8/24/13~EDD 5/3/14
    Hoping Third Time's a Charm!!- IT'S A GIRL!!!! 
    KAYLIE MARIE IS HERE! BORN 5/4/14

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    Lilypie - (nUwf)

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    All AL-ers welcome in my posts! <3
  • imageLoppy19:
    I would hide or unsubscribe to those friends. I understand how it is painful, but it's also not fair to expect them to be less excited or hide their happiness.

    excited I get.

    i really am happy for her.. But seriously, every other story on my feed is from her about this NB, with photos.. It's so far beyond excessive..

    image★´¯`•.¸¸.°¤TTCAL/PGAL/PAL Welcome,imageare not¤°.¸¸.•´¯`★image
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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    נשמה שבאה לעולם למספר חודשים לשהות במעי האם, היא נשמת צדיק גמור שבאה לעולם רק לתקן פגם קטן ולאחר מספר חודשים אלו היא שבה למקומה לגן עדן להתענג על ה'. לעתיד לבוא נשמה זו תוכר באחד מבנייך ובזכות נשמת צדיק זה תזכי להיות במחיצת צדיקים
    TTC Since September 2011
    BFP#1:Dec.1.11 EDD:Aug.09.12 MC:Jan.11.12 (9WK5D)-Natural
    BFP#2:Apr.18.12 EDD:Dec.21.12 MC:May.1.12 (6WK3D)-D&C
    BFP#3:Sep.12.12 - Suspected CP | BFP#4:Dec.1.12 - Suspected CP
    BFP#5: Dec.26.12 EDD:Sep.10.13 MC:Jan.7.13 (4WK6D)-Natural
    BFP#6: Jun.11.13 EDD:Feb.23.13 Beta: #1=8000 #2=24532 US@6wk2d showed 7wk2d size with 143BPM HR * NT US@12wk6d looked good. A/S passed with flying colors and our team color is Blue! *Grow my little Pamplemousse*!!!
    pregnancy

  • I've unsubscribed to about 20 people!
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  • I am sorry- I know how bad it hurts. Big squishy hugs to you!
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Friendship tickers
    TTC #2 Since October 2011
    RE testing results: DH- normal ME- DX:PCOS and One copy of MTHFR gene
    IUI#1 Sept/Oct 2012-Follistim, Ovidrel, Metformin, Baby Asprin, Lovenox, Crinone, and Neevo Beta 10/24=BFN
    No 2nd IUI but instead TI with Metformin, Baby Asprin, Neevo and Prometrium
    BFP #4 5/4/13-EDD 1/19/14- grow little one, grow!
    Beta #1@15DPO HCG-95, progesterone-25 Beta #4@24DPO HCG-2498, progesterone-30, 1st U/S 6mm,133BPM 2nd U/S 1.6cm, 167 BPM
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