Should I ask about the work shower?
jesspomales
member
This year, I was asked to be an interventionist at my school. I've been teaching 4th grade for the past three years. This was a wonderful move as this takes away tons of stress, which is just what I need being a FTM.
There are three other interventionists at my school who are spread out between other grade levels (I'm over 3rd/4th). So that means I'm usually on my own when there are team functions.
I wondered how this would work when it came to my work shower.
I assumed that the team of interventionists would throw it and that it would happen a month before my due date, which would be January.
There is another teacher who is also pregnant and due three days before me.
One of the ladies on my intervention team let us all know that we were given an invitation to the baby shower of the other teacher who is pregnant, given by her team.
But there has been no mention of any baby shower for me. I feel so left out and forgotten but I know it would be bad to bring it up or ask.
In the response to the email that I recieved I gave subtle hints that I'd like one too and that I'd like them to throw it, but got nothing back. I don't plan on providing more hints or saying anything but just waiting.
What should I do or think though? I've never been in this situation before and am not sure how to handle this.
Thanks!!!!!! 
Re: Should I ask about the work shower?
Um, don't ask or hint about a shower. Ultimately, there is nothing to "handle" since a shower is a gift.
Now, is it possible that the other interventionists are planning one OR that your "team" of 3rd/4th grade teacher is, but were waiting until closer to the date to announce?
This. You shouldn't "expect" them to throw you a shower. If they do, that's nice, but if not then whatever. The other woman may have been there longer or maybe she's close friends with the woman who is throwing the shower for her.
It may be petty, but if I got an email from a coworker hinting that I throw them a shower it would be an instant turn off and I wouldn't be the one to do it. Don't be offended if they don't have a shower for you. I think ultimately you're creating a very awkward work environment.
Yep. All of this. If they don't, they don't. Nothing you can do about it. Don't feel bad though, I know for sure I won't be getting a baby shower from work .... then again, i'm not fond of showers/parties in my honor. Yeah, i'm an oddball, but I just don't care for them.
Thanks ladies. I figured that was the case, but wasn't sure.
The reason why I've always expected one is because every pregnant teacher I've known has gotten a shower. I almost think it would be awkward not to have one since I've seen so many!
I'm just not going to expect anything and will be pleasantly surprised if something does happen.
Thanks again!
Same here.
This. A hundred times.
They might just be working on it still, but if they don't offer to throw one, then they don't throw one.
okay, i have my own work shower question that i am hoping i can piggy back on this question/thread to get answers from y'all:
my husband and i work at the same place (him for 5 years, me for 3 years) and over the years we've developed a good group of work friends. we also have friends that are having a shower for us in january (college friends).
i don't want to invite our work friends to two showers (feels like we're asking for two gifts) so if there is a work shower i would not invite them to this shower in january (which is already pretty big) but if we we're not having a work shower then i would invite them (given that we are BOTH friends with most of these people).
my boss has thrown showers for those that have come before me BUT she hasn't mentioned anything to me about it and i don't want assume anything.
so should i invite work friends to january friend shower & as a result potentially invite them to two showers (seems greedy)?
should i ask my boss or someone else if there are plans for a work shower for us (seems self-centered)?
should i just not worry about it and see what happens?
i'd love your practical advice! thank you!!
do you and your husband regularly fraternize with your coworkers outside of the workplace? If not, then I would not consider inviting them to an outside of the workplace shower. Either way, I personally would keep the college friend shower as just college friends because I am sure there will be lots of old college talk and reminiscing and your work friends might feel left out if they have not been included in social activities with this group before.
No. Don't ask and don't hint. If you get one you get one and if you don't you don't. Some work places/co-workers do that kind of thing and some don't.
I wasn't expecting one at all with DS but my Supervisor of 2 years was leaving for a new job a month before I was due and she decided she wanted to have one for me before she left so we had a get together for any of the ladies in our office who wanted to attend in the break room after work one day. It was lovely.
However, another girl in a different department was due about a month after me and she threw a huge tizzy and made all kinds of comments on Facebook about how she thought it was rude for the company to give me a shower and not her. She and her entire department (except the 2 supervisors) didn't come to my shower because of what she said/did.
My shower wasn't "thrown by the company" it was something my Supervisor put together and paid for the games/snacks herself. It was the rudest thing I have ever experienced...I actually felt bad about having the shower when I had no reason to as the other girl was just a b*tch about it. And to think she and I even emailed quite a bit about our pregnancies and what not before that. Don't turn into that girl lol!
thank you. yes, we do socialize with these friends out of work regularly (they are truly friends at this point). but just writing out the "what should i do options" made me realize that i should not invite them to the friend shower and just see what happens.
a shower is a very nice gift and gesture that i truly appreciate. i don't want to burden the friends who are generously hosting a shower for us by adding a whole bunch of guests for them to host & i don't want to be rude and ask our work friends if they are planning on giving us a shower- IF they do that, that should be their own decision and thought and not out of any guilt or obligation. we're very lucky to have so many people that support and love us during this time and their friendship is more than enough....though i could use more bottles
i think i just needed to write it out to figure out what to do. honestly, i was concerned about excluding our work friends from a party but i'm sure they will get over it