I need your advice on telling.

skio

H is at work and can't listen to my nonsense, so I defer to you for opinions since it's way slow here today. We have told a slew of people so far: My parents and bro, MIL and SIL, H's grandparents and aunt, a couple close family friends, and about four of our closest friends. I am telling my extended family this weekend, as I'll see them all tomorrow. I am telling my two very close girlfriends on the 8th because that's the next time I'll see them face to face. I'm not telling my mommy friends or 'extended' friends of mine/H's until after NT scan. Not announcing on fb.

MIL keeps bugging me, wanting to know if she can tell her friends. I'm just dumbfounded as to whether or not to let her. We already let her tell her best friend. It's probably, like, three other people that she really wants to tell.

Other things to note: I'm 11w2d for anyone on mobile. I had a wonderful appointment Wednesday where we saw a healthy baby measuring well. NT scan is Dec. 11th. And one thing that makes me slightly nervous; I was told yesterday that I have subclinical hypothyroidism due to the pregnancy, which can cause certain birth defects an miscarriage. It's almost like I was ready to tell the world, then that happened, and I'm nervous again. FWIW, my OB says it's mild and nothing to worry about, although I have been put on medication to control the issue.

So, would you let her blab? Let her tell a few specific people only? Make her wait until 12w? Until NT scan? Something else? Just curious to see what others would do, and I'm sure I'll see a wide range in answers, but indulge me for funsies.

AEN1029

It's ultimately up to you. I'm not a good secret keeper so I always tell the world way before anyone else even thinks to tell anyone at all. lol Me? I'd let her tell her friends, but since you're so close to 12 weeks, I don't see the big deal making her wait 5 more days. T&P for the hypothyroidism!

toomanycats1

Honestly if it were me I would just let her.  You're 5 days away from it being 12 weeks, and telling people before that cut off is not going to make/prevent anything. If you're telling your extended family this weekend, then I would just let her tell people too.  Maybe let her know she can tell people starting Sunday when you're 11 w 4d?  

When we told family it was with the assumption that they wouldn't be able to keep it a secret and would share the news.  I didn't really put any limitations on it because you really can't control what other people do, so why try.

ETA: I see the doctor on Monday and was going to ask to have my thyroid tested because my hair has been falling out and I've been ridiculously cold.  Can I ask what symptoms you were experiencing?  Now I'm a little nervous that I've left it this long.  

behapy2day

I would want her to wait, but I am neurotic.

skio

nyahsbabyblues:

ETA: I see the doctor on Monday and was going to ask to have my thyroid tested because my hair has been falling out and I've been ridiculously cold. Can I ask what symptoms you were experiencing? Now I'm a little nervous that I've left it this long.

Have you had any bloodwork done thus far? This was actually the second time my levels were tested as routine BW, and the first time at 7w was normal. I didn't have any symptoms that would've made me worry. I mean, I'm more tired, but attributed that to the pregnancy. No issues with hair. And I am cold all the time...but that's normal for me, too, so I can't say that it's thyroid related.

CiCi44

Do whatever your comfortable with! If your gut is telling you to wait until after your appt... wait. It is your news to share.

I had hypothyroidism pre-pregnancy -- so my experience may be a little different -- but for me the condition brought fatigue & the chills 24/7. I take a pill every morning... and it's been great. Obviously everyone is different -- but try not to sweat it!

toomanycats1

I had routine bloodwork done at 6 weeks, but I didn't ask at the time if they tested for thyroid issues since I thought my symptoms were pregnancy-related.  It's only the last week I've been questioning it because my hairdresser told me I was losing way too much hair for it to be normal.   

skio

Thanks, ladies. You are wise.

iggles09

Personally, we made our MIL wait to tell everyone until it was out officially - after the NT scan. She asked every day if she could tell someone - honestly it started becoming really annoying. I know she is excited and all but she has to respect our wishes - same should be for your case. Personally I was not ok with multiple people - other than close family and very close friends - knowing before that and I even felt pressured to tell before we were ready - we wanted to wait until closer to Christmas just because it felt safer. GL with your decision. Try not to let anyone pressure you into doing anything you are not ready to do!

RileighsMom1224

I have had to remind my mother several times that this is OUR news to share not hers.  She blabbed with our last pregnancy and I made her call everyone to tell them about our loss.  She forced me to tell my grandmother over thanksgiving and thought I was going to tell everyone else.  I had to remind her that we were waiting till christmas to share to everyone.  

If you want to wait to share the news then make her wait.  I had to remind my mother that next time I might not tell her early if she cant keep her big mouth shut. 

ChristyD6

I'm making my parents wait until after the NT scan. But I'm a scared FTM :