feeling overwhelmed — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

feeling overwhelmed

I am struck today with a horrible sense of feeling down and overwhelmed.  My baby is 5 weeks old and up until now it's been hard but doable.  Today I feel like I can't take it anymore.  I've been cooped up in the house, breastfeeding all the time, and scared I'm going to get depressed.  Please help.  Tell me it will get better.

My husband is concerned and sad to see me upset.  My mother has come to help with the baby but somehow I can't calm down enough even to take the nap that I need.  

The baby has such fussy fits in the evening of what seems to be never ending crying and I don't know what to do to make it better.

I guess I just need a little support out there.  Please tell me you went through something similar and I can do it.  And it will get better...:) 

Re: feeling overwhelmed

  • It will get better! :) 

     All babies go through fussy fits in the evening called the 'witching hours' - where there just doesn't seem like much you can do to help. So just know that during those hours 7pm-10pm usually - there are hundreds of parents going through the same thing. This usually peaks at 6 weeks ... so you are almost through the worst of it. Then will start to get better. 

     I started to get overwhelmed too - you have to get out of the house. So if you can, have someone watch your baby and just go for a drive for an hour or do something you like .... get your nails done, visit a friend, get a cup of coffee and read a book at Starbucks.  

     Hopefully that helps. Things will get better - and before you know it - they will be all grown up! 

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  • Thanks.  That really did help.  I think the staying in the house all the time is getting to me.  I miss going to dinner with my husband.  We have a plan to have my parents watch the baby tomorrow night so we can have our first dinner out but my fear is that the whole time, the baby will just be screaming for my parents.  I hate thinking that he will be a crying, sad maniac while we're out at a nice restaurant.  I do need to get out though.  Did you breastfeed?  I feel so tied to the baby because of it.
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  • I agree. You need to do something for yourself. You will feel much better when you return and you will have missed your LO and be ready for a fresh start. Don't worry about leaving a fussy baby with your parents to whoever. Just think they only have to put up with it for a few hours where you have to 24/7. They will not mind I am sure. 
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  • My son was the same way in the evening but started to get better around 5 weeks.  Now he's still up with us but just hanging out, no longer crying and fussy.

    Things will get better, hang in there!  Try making plans to go out once in awhile or even take your LO for a drive in the afternoon if you don't feel like going anywhere specific.  When my DD was a baby she cried constantly so once in awhile I would take her out in the car, stop and get a coffee at a drive thru, go for a long drive and listen to music.  She slept and I felt much better!

  • It definitely gets better! I felt overwhelmed at one point and now I'm dreading going back to work (debating being a SAHM, actually!).

    I'm BFing, too. I think I misread my baby some of the time. I thought she needed to be fed but actually had gas, needed to be held or something else. Burping her WELL and using gas drops when needed made a HUGE improvement. Also, have you watched the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD? If all else failed, using the pacifier, turning my daughter on her side, swaying, and sushing worked miracles!

    One more thing, try to put her down to sleep BEFORE she gets frantic. Sometimes they're just overtired and get past the point of no return, lol.






  • I COMPLETELY know how you feel and I OFTEN vent about it. I feel like the biggest complainer! You are not alone. It will get better with time, but we will still have those moments. I have these feelings often, especially anxiety so now Im on meds to help. (not suggesting you need meds!)

    Everyone's advice about taking a nap or resting and trying to get out for a breath of fresh air is exactly what we need to do. Easier said than done. I need to make myself do these things.

    HUGS!

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  • Ok... for the fits.  It could be colic and/or acid reflux. 

     

    We had a baby who cried for hours and hours every evening.  Per our Dr.'s instructions we switched bottles (to Dr. Browns and Playtex ventair) and formula (Gerber soothe) and kept baby in an upright position while feeding and for an additional 30 minutes afterwards. 

     

    These steps worked MIRACLES!!!  Within a week we had noticed a dramatic change.  Then, we added liquid Zantac to help with the reflux and I now know what a "normal" baby is like.  

     

    Once your baby is more comfortable, YOU will be more comfortable.  

     

    Then, tell someone else to care for LO and take a bath, take a nap, go for a walk, whatever you need to do.  

     

    My Husband & I still haven't gone out without LO because we have no one to help.  However, every single day, I find myself more capable, more relaxed, and more experienced in my ability to juggle this new act of motherhood.

     

    You can do it.  I promise :)

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  • Weeks 5 and 6 were really hard for me too. Hang in there. I remember with my first son it does get better.
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  • It will get better.

    My L/O is 3 months, and still some times I feel overwhelmed. but not like I did the first few weeks. Just keep telling yourself "IT WILL GET BETTER"

    And it helps me to get out, even if it is a quick trip to the store.

  • image quartz02:

    It definitely gets better! I felt overwhelmed at one point and now I'm dreading going back to work (debating being a SAHM, actually!).

    I'm BFing, too. I think I misread my baby some of the time. I thought she needed to be fed but actually had gas, needed to be held or something else. Burping her WELL and using gas drops when needed made a HUGE improvement. Also, have you watched the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD? If all else failed, using the pacifier, turning my daughter on her side, swaying, and sushing worked miracles!

    One more thing, try to put her down to sleep BEFORE she gets frantic. Sometimes they're just overtired and get past the point of no return, lol.

     

    excellent advice!  

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  • Take the baby out. They really are so portable at this age and usually the car ride or stroller ride puts them out. I know my baby will sleep like a rock in the middle of a noisy restaurant where as at home he be nursing and fussing constantly.
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  • I think you need to get out of the house. It sounds like you are getting a little bit of "cabin fever"

    Here's what I do.

    1x a week I go to a women's bible study with my friends. They have a nursery right off the study room, so they can get me if they need to, but I have an hour and a half to be a "grown up"

    1x a week (at least) I make a plan to go out for a walk with one of my friends. Having a "date" with someone makes it more likely that I am going to actually get dressed and get out of the house.

    1x a week I go to a "playgroup" with my friends at one of our houses. The kids play and we sit and talk. 

    If your friends don't have babies, look for a mommy group or a playgroup in your area.  

    What you are going through is totally normal. Let your mom watch LO, take a bath and then have a nap. Trust that your mom will get you if LO needs you, and it will be easier to sleep.

    If you are BFing, maybe instead of going to dinner, just go for a walk or something first with your DH to show yourself that baby will be ok. Or just go out for dessert. Build up to dinner.

    Also, like a PP said, the evening "witching hour" is normal. And will pass. My DD had hers from 6-9pm and would cluster feed the whole time.  

  • For baby: We have the Happiest Baby on the Block CD.  The first track is a really loud (and annoying) hair dryer.  It's magic.  The second we put it on, LO stops fussing.  Immediately.  You could buy the CD or use something similar that you already have, like a real hair dryer or a vacuum.  I doubt it works for every baby, but it definitely works for ours.  It's worth a shot.

    For you: If your LO is 5 weeks old and you still feel like you can't calm down enough to take a nap, you may be suffering from postpartum anxiety.  It is just as real and just as debilitating (maybe even more so) as postpartum depression, but gets less press.  Call your OB.  Tell her how you're feeling and how often, etc.  She will know if it's normal or something that needs treatment.  If it is postpartum anxiety, the sooner you get treatment, the better.  And treatment could mean counseling, meds, or both.  Lots of meds are safe for BFing, so you don't necessarily have to worry about that.  I'm not saying you do have postpartum anxiety, but you might, so I would suggest talking to your OB just in case.

    Hang in there.  It's normal to feel overwhelmed.  It will get better.

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  • Totally normal!  Your doing great.  Kee on moving.  Itll get easier ...you will see!  Xo
  • Believe me....it get easier and more fun everyday!!
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