Warning...loss post
ally510
member
I've been MIA for the past few weeks because I've been struggling to engage in anything baby-related. Last week we lost our little one. After my NT scan (Nov. 8th) I knew my papp-a was dangerously low, but I guess I was somewhat in denial or trying to believe in the power of prayer. After all, the baby looked so healthy during the scan (moving, thumb sucking, etc...). Tuesday night I started spotting, then bleeding...I'll spare you all the details. It makes me too sad to write them anyway. By Wednesday afternoon it was over. Needless to say, Thanksgiving sucked! Then to add insult to injury, my f-ing milk came in! I thought it might since I was 14 weeks and had only finished nursing 4 1/2 months ago, but that didn't make it any easier. My boobs are still killing me! My OB says to wait 2 months and then try again and that we won't have any increased risks as a result of the loss. If all goes well, Payton could have a sibling 24 months younger than her. She's been the best medicine through this whole thing. I just keep thinking how thankful I am for the beautiful, healthy baby I already have.
I just wanted to let you all know since I shared my BFP, etc... Hopefully I'll share another one again soon.
Re: Warning...loss post
BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11.
***BFP Chart***
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.
(((((Ally)))))
I'm so sorry.
No, we didn't know the gender. Maybe it sounds cold, but I asked not to know more. The more real it is, the more painful it is. It's like this bizarre coping mechanism...when I thought everything was fine, I totally thought of this little being inside of me as a person. I was picturing pulling my 2 kids in a wagon, etc... Then when I knew the end was coming, it was like I couldn't consider the baby a baby anymore. I had to think of it as a potential baby. I know, it's awful, but it's helping get me through. If anyone else has experience with this and has tips, I'm all ears.
BFP Chart
OCT 2011 Moms BlogI had an early m/c before I got pregnant with Wes, and while I'm not saying the two experiences are remotely similar, I will say that dh said the most comforting thing when we found out that the pregnancy wasn't going to be our take home baby. He said that the baby had to go back to heaven to take care of a few things but would be coming back to us soon. I know it sounds silly now, but it was really comforting to me at the time. Big hugs.
BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11.
***BFP Chart***
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.
Eta I hate that I can't use parentheses on bump mobile!
My Life
BFP 7.7.09 - CVS 9.10.09 (Girl) - 9.24.09 Severe Fatal Malformation - D&E 10.7.09 @ 17wks
BFP 6.1.10 - 6.10.10 Ectopic M/C @ 5wks
BFP 10.26.10 - 10.29.10 CP
BFP 1.30.11 - CVS 3.28.11 (Girl) - EDD 10.11.11 - Born 10.6.11
BFP 12.18.12 - 12.20.12 CP
BFP 3.18.13 - CVS 5.21.13 (Girl) - EDD 12.2.13 - Born 11.24.13
BFP 6.10.14 - CVS 7.2.14 (Girl) - EDD 1.12.15 - Born sleeping 8.6.14 @ 17w5d
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
BFP #1 - 11/16/10 CP 12/1/10
Our team green turned into team pink!
BFP #2 17dpo - 47, 19dpo - 114 Chart