6mo cobed, BF bad sleeper

bloverde

I lurk but have never posted. Little man is just over 6mo. He's EBF when I'm home, and dad gives pumped milk when I'm at work. We've coslept since birth and side carred the crib at 2mo. I can count on one hand how many times he's slept more than 3hr. We both love sleeping with the little guy right there, and I don't mind waking a couple times to nurse. But I'm a resident and between my crazy long hours and him waking every 2hr to nurse, I'm dying for some sleep.

Our bedtime routine has been the same since 6wk: bath, PJs, story, nurse, into crib awake with paci and white noise. He zonks within 2min, no problems. But when he wakes he refuses the paci and MUST nurse back to sleep. Or take a bottle from DH when I'm call. He DOES wake LESS frequently when I'm on call: 11pm, 3am, 6am. I usually can do side lying position, but occasionally he protests and wants me to sit up in bed and do cross cradle. Before we put him in bed with us I slept sitting up on the couch with pillows propping my arms up to hold him because if I moved an inch he would wake up and shriek. He was like that since the minute he came out, despite my best effort to have him sleep in a bassinet.

We have tried to vary bed time, have DH go in to comfort him back to sleep, have DH put him to sleep to trick him into thinking I'm on call, moving him out of our room, giving a couple oz of water thinking he just wants to suck. I've read No Cry Sleep Solution, but he goes to sleep initially so well that it didnt help. The other book I forget the name wasn't applicable because he doesnt wake at the same time every night. He's always just been a high needs guy, even during the day.

I feel horrible typing this all out, but even if I could regularly get 4hr of sleep in a row, I think I would feel so much better. I actually look forward to being on call because there's a better chance I can sleep at the hospital. I still want to BF until he self weans and keep him in with us. Has anyone gone through something like this and reduced the number of night wakings?

ncbelle

Is he possibly teething?  My kids were still frequent wakers at that age - so I don't think it's unusual - but I totally understand the need to get more than 2 hours sleep.

You may have already tried this but ....I would put him to bed as usual (say 8 or whatever time you normally do), then an hour or so later do a dream feed - and then go to bed yourself.  When kiddo wakes the first time, have DH handle it - if you think he is really hungry, a small bottle.  More than likely though with some persistence, daddy can get him back to sleep without.  Yes, baby will be mad and cry but daddy will be there to comfort - and it may take a while the first few nights but my guess is that eventually it won't and he may not wake at all.  Then the next time he wakes, you can nurse as normal and go from there.  I wouldn't completely night wean at 6 months, but I think cutting back could work for you. 

I found that both of my kids woke more frequently towards morning so I think you'd have the best luck trying the dream feed and then cutting out the first time he wakes up - whatever time that happens to be. 

bloverde

He popped his first tooth out 10 days ago. And I would be more prone to blame it on that if he hadn't been like this all of his little life.

I'll give what you said a try. Maybe if he learns he doesn't get the boob at 11pm he'll stop waking.

highlights

Definitely try having Dad feed him.

 I hate to suggest this, but is he in your room? We co-slept with DS, but at a certain point, he was just done with it and slept better in his own room, in his own bed.

Maybe add a few more feedings in the evening before bed too?

I'm not sure, I'm sorry, this doesn't sound fun.

cpmich

A couple of comments ... the 6 month growth spurt is a big one and usual sleeping issues aside, your kiddo is probably much hungrier than usual. Not even Ferber sleep trains during a growth spurt because nothing will help but food then. Hang in there!

For what it's worth, my DS would not sleep flat in a crib or a cosleeper for more than 2 or 3 hours at that age, but would sleep over 7 straight hours in a Fisher Price Rock N Play Sleeper. Some kids prefer not to be flat. At the price, I really recommend you consider picking one up at target and trying it for a week. If it doesn't work, just return it. It made a huge difference for us.

Another thing to try is tylenol before bed 1 night just to see if it might be teething.

Hope this helps. It is great that you are still nursing with a resident's schedule. That is really tough!

Oh, 1 more thought ... caffeine does pass through breastmilk. I don't know what your practices are, but you might think about whether you drink coffee or pop or get more hidden caffeine in chocolate, etc. I was stunned how little chocolate in my diet it took to mess up my son's sleep schedule. Of course your mileage may vary.

Good luck!

bloverde

Thanks ladies! He is in the room with us still. I tried having him sleep in the next room at our in laws over Thanksgiving and his sleep was the same, but maybe because it was an unfamiliar place. He used to sleep in a bouncy chair due to reflux, but refuses to sleep inclined like that anymore. Is the RockNPlay significantly different? I am too sensitive to caffeine to drink coffee and he is MSPI, so no chocolate either. I've tried Tylenol before with no success. As far as 6mo growth spurt, we did that 10 days ago with waking every hour to eat. Now we're back to our plain old bad sleeper.

Is it possible he just wants mama time since I work so much? I feel like this may be part of it. But other residents who breastfed said they successfully sleep trained and night weaned without a problem and that I'm just "too soft" on him and other usual arguments against AP.

ncbelle

Responding to your baby's needs is never being "too soft" - ignore the naysayers  I think that you are right that part of this is just missing mama - reverse cycling is really common.  If you think it might be teeth, I would try motrin as tylenol never did much when my kids needed something for tooth pain.  Hang in there!!

cpmich

I actually found that the Rock N Play was a lot different. My son hated those bouncers. As in all things, it really depends on the individual child.

Ignore your friends, you really can't be too soft on a 6 month old. Besides, Med school really isn't the best for learning about parenting. It just takes experience with your one unique little one. Even other parenting experience with another kid isn't worth much. You know your own child best and so much of parenting is trial and error. You are doing a great job.

Hang in there! Residency is rough.

cpmich

Oh... if you notice he has been unusually "alert" since he was tiny, compared to other same aged kids, he may be really noticing your absence and missing you. If he is mobile already, try to maximize exercise. Swimming is great for sleeping. If the above applies and you notice he is ahead on milestones, you might want to start lurking on the Davidson Institute forums. High IQ kiddos can be a handful and often seem very high needs when tiny. They can also hit separation anxiety at 4 months or earlier, instead of 9, for example ... which you might be seeing now.

Just a thought. Take it with a grain of salt.

Good luck!

bloverde

Oh I totally ignore the other resdents. I'm the "hippy, crunchy" one that wears her baby, cloth diapers, cobeds and does baby led weaning. And this is coming from other pediatricians. ;

I have a swing and another nonbouncing seat, so I could give those a try. He's right on with motor milestones and advanced with social. I really think he developed separation anxiety at 5 months. So I will check out that board, thank you! He's such a water baby that I'm sure he would love to swim. I'll have to check out options in our area.

kolaloo

I'm usually a lurker but your little one sounds lot like mine. My youngsters also MSPI and we had reflux issues ontop of it all... have you tried a probiotic? We use biogia I think is the spelling they sell it at Walgreens, it's expensive but well worth it! Between that and the amber necklace I think its helped 10 fold with keeping him comfortable exp. during slips and attempts at reintroductions. Good luck!

DCMerged

We are 5mo, cobed, BF bad sleeper:) He was only waking once a night for a few weeks leading up to 3.5 months and then it all went to hell. Mine wakes up about every three hours on average and fusses until I nurse him to sleep. Anyway, I don't have any advice but just so you know you are definately not alone. I'm trying to ride it out until after the holidays when he is 6 months and then might have to do some kind of sleep training (I just bought the No Cry book but he goes to bed okay it is just the night wakings so it sounds like maybe not that helpful but we'll see).

bloverde

That's why No Cry was a problem for us! He goes down so easily for the first time but the rest of the night is terrible! I haven't found a book that has a solution to this yet.