Introduction :) (ticker warning)

ProcessofBecoming

Hey ladies,

I've been lurking on this board for a while now, and now that we're gearing up to hopefully welcome #2, I thought I should introduce myself. Hiya!

I'm 41 and my husband is 39, and we welcomed our son this past March. Until I had to go and get high blood pressure, I had a pretty easy pregnancy--our little guy arrived 3 weeks early, but in perfect health. He's my miracle, that kid. Me, on the other hand... I had a rough recovery (needed blood transfusions, all sorts of fun stuff), but started feeling like myself again a few months later.

Before getting pregnant either time (I had a miscarriage immediately before my pregnancy with my son), I was/am a big devotee of Eastern medicine/alternative treatments/supplements--acupuncture, chinese herbs, maca, royal jelly, evening primrose oil, red raspberry leaf tea, tons of Vit. D, yadda, yadda. I have autoimmune issues and became very interested in alternative therapies for handling that (the meds they have to treate autoimmune diseases are often more miserable than the disease itself), so when I thought about getting pregnant, I researched all of the natural ways I might be able to help the old uterus and eggs along. Whether any of this stuff helped me to conceive easily, or have a successful pregnancy, who knows, but I'm a creature of habit, and have dragged out the supplements, teas, royal jelly, and "yoga for fertility" DVDs once more (I suck at yoga, but I give it the old college try).

My friends think I'm nuts for trying for another baby so soon, especially at 41. Sometimes I think I'm nuts too, but I'm excited (and terrified, but mostly excited) at the thought of being a mom again. I don't know what to expect this time around, or what challenges I might face, but I'm hopeful that my machinery is amenable to making another kid. 

Because the little guy is, well, little, and we're creaky and sleep-deprived, my husband and I were TTA until now. I've been trying to drop some weight (losing weight over 40 is a whole new exercise in humility), but the husband and I have decided to start "not avoiding" this month (i.e., I'm not temping/charting or anything--we're just going to do our thing and see what happens). I think we'll go this route for a few months, before jumping headfirst back into the seas of TTC, and dragging out the "TCYF" bible once more.

I've been reading all of your stories for a while now, and think this is a great, mature, supportive board. I'm more of a lurker than an active poster, but check the boards frequently and will do my best to offer support wherever it is needed!

Thanks for having me! 

brooklynesque

Welcome, and good luck TTC number 2!

ProcessofBecoming

Thanks so much! Looking forward to getting to know everyone here

gscoville

Welcome and best of luck!  Love your sense of humour/way of saying things.

jbelle

Welcome and best of luck!

Once upon a time, I wanted my kids to be about 3 years apart. Now that we've waited so long and are having issues, I have taken note of siblings close in age and am starting to see how awesome that can be. 

While it is likely a lot of work for you and your DH for the next couple years, then they may just be the closest of friends and playmates!

ProcessofBecoming

Thanks! I've been told that I "write like I talk" (not sure what that means, but I think they meant it as a compliment!). I'm an editor by day, so wordiness comes naturally to me--he he!

Jbelle, like you, I am rethinking the "age gap" between babies. When I got married at 32, I thought, "Well, I will have a kid at 35 and 37, and then that leaves some wiggle room for Number 3, if we want a third." Ah, sweet ignorant youth. I ended up getting divorced at 35 and proceeded to wander through one trainwreck relationship after the next, until I met my husband at 38. We didn't even think about trying to get pregnant until I was 39. Thankfully, I didn't have issues getting/staying pregnant, but the timetable for adding a sibling has been adjusted considerably. Because of my autoimmune issues and being 41, I think it'd be better for both me and Hopeful Future Baby if I got pregnant again sooner rather than later. I have a coworker who had her first at 41 and second at 45 (both conceived naturally) and she makes it look effortless, but she's this teeny little thing and always full of energy. I'm a chunk, and was lazy to begin with--I don't see me getting any peppy-er as the years go on. Two under 2 scares the beJeezus out of me, but I come from an Irish family, where all of my grandparents had 10 to 13 siblings (not kidding--I should mention that my mother had me when she was 40, so my grandparents were born around 1900--1908 in Ireland... the old family portraits feature scads of scowling children), and if my great-grandparents could handle 13 living on a rural farm in Ireland, how hard could two kids be, living in the suburbs, in 2013?

Like I just said, my mom had me at 40, but had my brother when she was 20, and my sister when she was 24. There's a 16-year-age gap between us, and my sister's kids (who are 35 and 31) are more my siblings than my actual siblings. I always wanted a sibling closer in age to me, and I want my little guy to have that too. Hopefully the ovaries are up to the task

 

 

BeckyP005

Welcome to the board and good luck!

gscoville

Haha yeah, I've been known to be accused of being wordy - English major and a teacher, bad combo for spewing at the mouth!

I love hearing about kids who are so far apart and it still being a wonderful thing.  My daughter from a previous marriage just turned 18, so I'm constantly beseiged with doubts about doing it all again - I mean really, I'm sending one off to college and considering having another one at 39?  Well 40 actually, I turned 39 in September, so any time from now that I get pregnant will mean I'll have the baby at 40+.  But I've got several good friends my age and older who have recently had babies, so I know it can be done, I won't be alone and will have good friend support through it all.  Granted I'm the only one with an out-of-the-house kid approaching their own reproductive years...  Scares the crap out of me that my daughter could possibly have a baby of her own before I have another!  Thankfully she's still not even interested in boys, school is the only thing on her mind right now and as far as I'm concerned, she can just keep it that way til she's 30 at least!

Anyways, great to have you on the board!

ProcessofBecoming

Wow, that's awesome! Think of it this way, having had your daughter, you know the ropes of motherhood, and I bet your daughter would love to have a sibling. My sister was 16 when I was born (my mother pretty much had a built-in babysitter) and although she and I do not have a typical sibling relationship, I do have a sibling-like relationship with my nieces and nephews, and that is nice. My parents, unfortunately, died back in 2004/2005, and my brother followed them in 2010, so it's just the two of us, and having my nieces and nephew (who actually just welcomed twins born at 35 weeks on 11/19 with his wife) is nice. 

Ironically, I have two close friends who have kids. The rest of my gang, like me, wandered around in a perpetual state of adolescence (some still do), and are just warming up to the idea of having a baby. But a good chunk of my friends are happily child-free, and I think that's great too. Everyone has a different path. Fortunately, one of my closest friends decided to start trying (she will be 42 in July), and has already enlisted an RE, so it will be nice to have someone to travel down the road with again.  

Your daughter sounds like a smart kid, and is keeping her eye on the prize! See, you did a great job the first time around, and will do just as great with a new little one.   

HeathernSteven

Hi and welcome! Best of luck to you...I understand teh age thing, I secretly long for twins so I can have two, I would love to have siblings because then they will always have each other, as Dh and I are getting on in age. WHEN I conceive I will be close to 41 at birth....so I doubt we would try a 2nd time...its kinda one shot deal for us

KateLouise

Welcome and good luck!

Jacque Sills

Welcome to the group and hope all goes well for you.....

ProcessofBecoming

Thanks all! Heather, I get what you are saying about the one-shot deal.... I think everyone has their timelines in their head, and I'm no different. I will be 42 next year, and think that 42 is as far as I want to take things, in terms of having another baby (of course, I say that now). It's a lot of work being pregnant, especially with a little baby to take care of, and I'm not quite sure how I will juggle everything. Thankfully, my husband is super-supportive, and I know I can count on him.

This is all assuming that the parts still work. I'm not sure how much medical intervention we'll be able to afford if I have trouble this time around, or how far we'd like to take things. I'm blessed to have my son, and if that's the only child that is destined for me, I count myself lucky. But, it would be great for him to have a sibling, if possible. 

Here's hoping that 2013 is a banner year for all of us!