Please tell me to let it go

Tash13

I need somebody to seriously slap me so I can snap out of it and get over it already!

 I know I've said this before but I REALLY regret my DD's name.  It was DH's choice and I didn't loves it but didn't hate it when he proposed it after she was born (we didn't have names picked out).  I really wanted Mackenzie or Aurora but he kept telling me he liked Hayden more. Finally I just gave in.  I just wanted her to have a freaking name so everybody would stop harassing me about it.

 I started really disliking it after a couple of weeks.  I just couldn't connect with it, she didn't look like a Hayden to me, and the feelings were getting worst and worst. I chalked it up to hormones and figured it would grow on me.  It's my daughter after all and I'd learn to love anything connected with her.  Well, here we are 3 months later and I'm actually getting depressed over it.  I call her a slew of nicknames to avoid saying it.  I don't even like telling other people her name when they ask.  I can't come up with a nickname from Hayden that I like (ie Haydie, Denny, whatever).  Every name I hear I think "I like that more than Hayden.  I wish we had used that."  I just wish we could go back three months and start over.

DH has finally told me to just go through the process of changing it if it means that much to me.  But it's not like it's an easy process.  First of all, the social repercussions are huge.   Telling everybody we know that we've changed her name after 3 months?   They'll think we're freaking nuts.  Plus, it's a legal process to get a name changed and then she'll forever have two pages of her birth certificate, the original and the second page showing the amendment.  So I keep telling myself that it's not worth it and I just need to get over it, but I'm terrified that 10 years from now I'll still hate her name.  Please tell me that I"m just being ridiculous and I need to just let it go.

LindsayDesigner

If you are convinced you will still hate her name you should change it. Do it before she gets older, if you wait it will only get more complicated.

yvdukana

I say change it if you hate it that much. It's easier now while she's still so young than later. My aunt was born Maria Walda, I know, terrible right? She HATED it. They called her Walda. It was the late 50s after all, but still. She changed her name when she was 19 to Tara, it was very difficult for everyone to get used to calling her Tara after 19 years of being Walda. She's been Tara for 35 years and now no one thinks twice about it, and she never has had an issue with having the two pages to her birth certificate or social security or anything like that. You need to love the name and be happy calling your DD that name for a lifetime. 

CoUnTryBB1

I think Hayden is a great name and it goes well with Logan.   I have had these same feelings but not quite to the same extent.   It is quite the process to have her name changed.  But it is entirely up to you and really no one else opinion should matter.   Maybe you can come up with a cute nickname for her and it doesn't have to be anything related to Hayden at all.   Have you thought about any nicknames related to her middle name?  Something in her personality when she is getting bigger might trigger one too. 

My brother had his name legally changed like four days after he was born basically becuase his mother is a POS (not saying that about you at all, she is just beyond words to the toon of she dropped him off with my grandparents at 15 months and never took anymore interest in his life in a genuine way) and gave him a name even the nurses weren't sure how to say let alone spell.  His name is Sam now and it fits him well. 

If you really want to be talked out of it you should post on the Baby names board because we all know how opinionated that board is.  Also, have you thought of what you want to change her name too?

I agree with PP though you should love it and if you want to change it I would do it sooner than later.

 

downwardsunshine

LindsayDesigner:

If you are convinced you will still hate her name you should change it. Do it before she gets older, if you wait it will only get more complicated.

 

This. I'm not thrilled with DS's name. I wanted matthew, DH wanted Max. The only name we could agree on was Chase for his middle name. We went back and forth for months and then he was early and when they asked what his name was we still had no idea so we just went with what we both agreed with. So he is Chase Matthew... I'm not nearly as upset as you are but I am having a hard time identifying him with that name. I seem to always say "the baby" when referring to him. I'm sure I will get over it. If it bothered me as much as it does you then I would just change it.  

xxbabycakesxx

LindsayDesigner:

If you are convinced you will still hate her name you should change it. Do it before she gets older, if you wait it will only get more complicated.

I agree with this. Shes ONLY 3 months. Does your family know how much you dislike the name?

nopegoat

Could she go by her middle name instead? 

Tash13

xxbabycakesxx:

LindsayDesigner:

If you are convinced you will still hate her name you should change it. Do it before she gets older, if you wait it will only get more complicated.

I agree with this. Shes ONLY 3 months. Does your family know how much you dislike the name?

No, nobody knows.  And I know they'll think I'm crazy.  They're super judgmental as it is and kept telling me how ridiculous it was that she didn't have a name at 6 days.  We're stuck living with them right now and I heard multiple times a day "you mean we still have nothing to call her?!  Should we just start making something up??"  Plus it's a few hundred dollars and a process of at least 6 weeks or so to get her name changed, so they'll think I'm even crazier.  I just wish I could call a Mulligan and go back to re-do the whole process. 

bigbootyjudi

Tash13:

xxbabycakesxx:

LindsayDesigner:

If you are convinced you will still hate her name you should change it. Do it before she gets older, if you wait it will only get more complicated.

I agree with this. Shes ONLY 3 months. Does your family know how much you dislike the name?

No, nobody knows.  And I know they'll think I'm crazy.  They're super judgmental as it is and kept telling me how ridiculous it was that she didn't have a name at 6 days.  We're stuck living with them right now and I heard multiple times a day "you mean we still have nothing to call her?!  Should we just start making something up??"  Plus it's a few hundred dollars and a process of at least 6 weeks or so to get her name changed, so they'll think I'm even crazier.  I just wish I could call a Mulligan and go back to re-do the whole process. 

what's her middle name?

LindsayDesigner

Tash13:

No, nobody knows. And I know they'll think I'm crazy. They're super judgmental as it is and kept telling me how ridiculous it was that she didn't have a name at 6 days. We're stuck living with them right now and I heard multiple times a day "you mean we still have nothing to call her?! Should we just start making something up??" Plus it's a few hundred dollars and a process of at least 6 weeks or so to get her name changed, so they'll think I'm even crazier. I just wish I could call a Mulligan and go back to redo the whole process.

If your husband is on board, it sounds like he is, sit down with the family together and explain the situation. Hopefully your husband can be a buffer against the rest of the family.

I know a little about how hard it can be to live with family. We are with my parents and my youngest sister. She is a totally spoiled 18 year old who rarely thinks about others. She has been driving my husband crazy with her bratty behavior.

bigbootyjudi

Finally on the computer, so I see her MN is Anais. I'm not sure I'd call her by that...but only because it's NMS.

If you don't like it, change it. Screw whatever anyone else has to say. You're her parent, you gave birth to her, everyone else will just have to adjust.

byrne15

downwardsunshine:

LindsayDesigner:

If you are convinced you will still hate her name you should change it. Do it before she gets older, if you wait it will only get more complicated.

 

This. I'm not thrilled with DS's name. I wanted matthew, DH wanted Max. The only name we could agree on was Chase for his middle name. We went back and forth for months and then he was early and when they asked what his name was we still had no idea so we just went with what we both agreed with. So he is Chase Matthew... I'm not nearly as upset as you are but I am having a hard time identifying him with that name. I seem to always say "the baby" when referring to him. I'm sure I will get over it. If it bothered me as much as it does you then I would just change it.  

awww ds#1's name is Chase.  Like you, it took me a while for him to become "Chase" to me.  Now....that's all I could ever imagine him to be named.

xxbabycakesxx

byrne15:

downwardsunshine:

LindsayDesigner:

If you are convinced you will still hate her name you should change it. Do it before she gets older, if you wait it will only get more complicated.

 

This. I'm not thrilled with DS's name. I wanted matthew, DH wanted Max. The only name we could agree on was Chase for his middle name. We went back and forth for months and then he was early and when they asked what his name was we still had no idea so we just went with what we both agreed with. So he is Chase Matthew... I'm not nearly as upset as you are but I am having a hard time identifying him with that name. I seem to always say "the baby" when referring to him. I'm sure I will get over it. If it bothered me as much as it does you then I would just change it.  

awww ds#1's name is Chase.  Like you, it took me a while for him to become "Chase" to me.  Now....that's all I could ever imagine him to be named.

Ds2s first name is Max. Smiley face.

mamahawk12

I vote don't change it, but that's just me. What about Haddie? Hayes? 

Tash13

Haddie is the only one I came up with too  My maiden name was very similar to Hayes, so that wouldn't work.  

I'm really going to try and just let it go.  I think it'll be best for everybody.  I think I've just been ultra emotional about a lot going on and for some reason I'm focusing all this extra emotion on this hang-up.  A good friend told me today that it took her about a year to really like her daughters name and that she loves it most of the time now but still has moments when she wishes she had gone with something else.  For some reason it made me feel better to know others go through the same thing.

Thanks for the commiseration ladies.