MIL Rant

Mike_Patti

Sorry, I just have to rant to get this off my chest. I thought you all might sympathize.

Yesterday DH is talking to MIL casually about how DD has recently started waking for one MOTN feeding (she used to STTN). We aren't complaining; this is normal for her hitting her 4 month wakeful period. We can handle a nighttime nursing session.

Well, MIL then proceeds to tell him that she thinks that we are not feeding DD enough. Why? Well, apparently she cries for a few minutes when her bottle is done. We feed 4oz per bottle feeding and MIL says that we need to now be feeding at least 6oz. She asks when we plan to increase her volume of feeds. Also, she apparently looks like she's only 1-2 months old. 

Grrr! This is so annoying. MIL has no clue how to feed a breastfed baby. First of all, we feed our baby based on her cues. She fusses a bit at the end of feeds but then calms and is fine. We never deny her a feed when she's hungry. However, if she's crying because she's tired or gassy we don't feed her. Daycare seems to think she's perfectly happy between bottles there. We always send an extra bottle with her and instruct them to feed on demand, but she never uses the extra bottle.

Just to be sure I'm not crazy I ran the numbers on the milk calculator on Kellymom. Based on that our current feeding schedule is on the high end of normal. 

I just think that MIL has this expectation that our baby is supposed to be guzzling massive amounts of milk and be in the 99th%ile. My baby has been growing just fine in the 5-10th%ile. She is small. There is nothing wrong with that. Some people are small. If she was not growing I would be concerned and feed her more. 

Sorry so long. Thanks for letting me rant.

ChicagoWeded2007

I feel you, my MIL just told me DS "looks like  he's lost weight." WTF! Is that something you should tell a mom? Uh, no.  My baby's in the 30% weight range and has been since he was 2 months old.  He has not "lost weight" and saying that just makes me feel like a crappy mom.  

Sorry your MIL is the same way. My MIL also never breastfed and is always asking how we know he got enough food.  Well, we know because he's a happy baby who is gaining weight and sleeping 10-12 hours at night. That's how, so lay off. 

blondie42107

My MIL asked when I was pregnant with DS1 if I was going to breastfeed.  I said yes.  She was seeing all the info in magazines and on TV about the benefits.

A few months ago, a family member had a baby who was just over 9lbs at birth.  Baby was very fussy, wanted to nurse all the time, etc.  VERY typical for a newborn.  First time mom was unsure and tired and didn't have access to LC, etc.  They started supplementing and eventually by three weeks started full time formula feeding.  I do not judge them for their decision.

I do judge my MIL for saying, "He's a big baby and breast milk is obviously not enough."  I replied with nothing other than a blank stare.  MIL is clueless and it would be a waste of my time to discuss it with her.  I keep my EPing to myself!! 

BellePomo

I'm with you!  I know I should be grateful that my MIL loves LO very very much.  But she overfeeds him - like 20 ounces in 7 hours.  Meanwhile, he eats about 11 ounces in the same time frame when my mom watches him, and is happier too.

In my case, MIL is misreading LO's sleepy signs as hunger signs.  So, he eats all day, and has usually two 45-minute naps.

freezorburn

BellePomo:

In my case, MIL is misreading LO's sleepy signs as hunger signs.  So, he eats all day, and has usually two 45-minute naps.

OMG, I have the opposite problem. MIL thinks DS's hunger signs are sleepy signs so she shushes him to sleep when he is hungry! She hates when I try to take him from her to feed him, b/c it interferes with her bonding time. She is SO frustrating. 

matthew_elizabeth

freezorburn:

BellePomo:

In my case, MIL is misreading LO's sleepy signs as hunger signs.  So, he eats all day, and has usually two 45-minute naps.

OMG, I have the opposite problem. MIL thinks DS's hunger signs are sleepy signs so she shushes him to sleep when he is hungry! She hates when I try to take him from her to feed him, b/c it interferes with her bonding time. She is SO frustrating. 

 

This happened to me when we visited family back home when LO was 2 months old and still eating every 1.5 - 2 hours. My MIL would give me looks (like I was crazy) when my DD was screaming in her arms and I knew it was time to eat.