Making my way back again

anitaflora

Well I feel like a complete louse.  Between the back and forth of the recent losses I've had, the fact that I just stopped posting anywhere because I hated the mobile format so much, and just being busy with DS and work, I really haven't been a big part of this board I guess.  But I hope you'll have me back ... even though I'm not completely ready yet to be anywhere.  

I'm having a very, very difficult time with this loss emotionally right now.  Well, since I found out about it only today I guess of course that's to be expected.  But this one just feels like it's hitting me harder than the others.  For so many reasons, on so many levels.

You have all been so supportive of me even though I've only popped in here and there when I've been able. I hope it's okay if I come back.  I know I should probably be looking for support on the miscarriage board but I feel like I just don't think I can "be" there much right now. It's more of like a "passing through" board for me.  And I've passed through this door before.   

I'm waiting for the confirmation ultrasound to happen next Tue.  Which is just ripping me apart on so many levels.  Actually, now I realize that's one of many reasons that makes this so hard.  The fact that I have to wait for this final ultrasound to confirm that it's not viable.  

Okay now I'm just rambling.  But I hope you'll have me back here again.  I have such great respect for all the ladies on this board, even those I don't know yet, just by the fact that we are all on this journey.  I wish none of us had to be here.  

Lots of hugs. 

Laurakat81

I hate this day. So terribly sorry you find yourself back here. We absolutely welcome you with open arms. ((((hugs))))

ravenclaw1

Dammit. Another person coming back?!? This blows. I'm just getting angry at this point. So sorry you're back. What did they tell you at your appointment?

Loveniz

I'm so sorry you have to come back, but of course we will welcome you back. Huge ((Hugs)). Many thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

AmeliaKris

Oh I'm so very sorry. Huge hugs to you!!! So not fair!

AmyM72

I'm so very sorry. The waiting was the worst part for me too. Big hugs.

anitaflora

Laurakat81:

I hate this day. So terribly sorry you find yourself back here. We absolutely welcome you with open arms. ((((hugs))))

 

Laura, I'm so, so sad that we are sharing this day together.  I have been thinking about you in particular ever since I saw your post too and am sending you big, huge, squishy hugs too. 

ravenclaw1:

Dammit. Another person coming back?!? This blows. I'm just getting angry at this point. So sorry you're back. What did they tell you at your appointment?

Basically the Dr told me that while he wasn't ready to "call it," it really, really didn't look like a viable pregnancy.  Then when I left the office the nurse checking me out said, well, just to let you know, I have seen it both ways.  Sometimes it turns around and sometimes it doesn't.  My husband and I sort of wanted to smack her because at this point - 6w 5d!!! - I am sure we should have seen something.  And there was NOTHING in that sac.  So I know she was trying to be nice and do her job but it was just hard.  My betas rose again but way, way, way too slow - getting slower between each draw.  So they scheduled me for a follow up u/s Tue but I have basically no hope about it.   

SA1112

I'm so sorry you're back here. Hugs

heather52904

I'm so sorry that you have to come back here.  Huge (HUGS)

Josiecat

Laurakat81:

I hate this day. So terribly sorry you find yourself back here. We absolutely welcome you with open arms. ((((hugs))))

 My thoughts exactly.  Hugs to you, I'm sorry you're here.

jenohouston

I'm so sorry your having to go through this again.  Hugs

Adam2010

Oh no! I am so very sorry for you Of course you are welcome back!

Very many SQUISHY HUGS to you! 

brihall003

I'm so sorry that you have to return! I agree with Laura, today sucks! [[hugs]]

RedPhoenix625

I'm so, so sorry Anita.

OttersBite

It's just not fair, I'm so sorry.  ((hugs))

kr_ry

I am sorry for your loss and that this has happened to you and your husband again.

GavinRonansMom

I am so sorry you have had to find yourself back here....I wish no one ever ever had to come back here. Big ((((hugs))))

buggirl72

(((hugs))) and I am so, so sorry. 

LLPtobe

Oh honey, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. I'm so sorry. No one should ever have to come back here. (((hugs)))

mayonegg

I'm so sorry. The waiting is horrible. ((hugs))

LSzwaya

I am so so sorry. It just isn't fair.

Smash2009

I am so so sorry, sweetie. It absolutely sucks. Today just SUCKS.
I'm so angry for you and for Laurakat. Huge HUGS for both of you.

EKGibs

I'm so sorry you had to come back (((hugs)))

km_md

This is a really crappy day for TTCAL I am so sorry that you have to come back, but of course you are welcome! Big ((hugs)) to you.

nbcarlson

I am so sorry I wish no one ever had to come back here!

Rachaeleigh

Damn it! Of course you can come back, but I hate that you have to. Hugs

QuigleyCat1

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I hate seeing ladies come back here but of course you are welcomed.  You're in my thoughts and I'm sending extra hugs. I just so sorry Anita.

egsquared

I'm so sorry you have to come back here.  It's so unfair. Big ((hugs)).

Shanpan4

So sorry you have to come back. This really isn't a good day! Ugh.

amberpro

I'm so sorry. It's horrible that anyone is here to begin with, let alone has to come back.

mgh2008

I am so sorry:(  

Jenibug05

I'm so sorry you are back here. Hugs hugs to you. YH and you are in my T & Ps. Of course you are always welcome back with open arms. I remember you from before and I'm so sorry you're going through this again.

anitaflora

Thank you all so, so much. I don't have anyone around me that can relate so I really, really appreciate all the support. Lots and lots more hugs to all.

csspencer

I hate when people have to come back. I am so sorry.