Would you give a family name to just one kid?

strawberrytree

So we are 6 months away from TTC but I have been thinking about this lately.

DS has a family name for his mn [my grandfather/great grandfather/uncle's name]. DH does not wish to honour any family members. On my dad's side, my dad, grandfather, and GGF all have the same name, but my grandfather has proven himself to be a racist jerk over the past year and I do not want to honour him. My maiden name is a common boy's name and we had planned to use it for DS until my grandfather pulled his crap, and we ended up changing it bc DH was not comfortable with using it.

Would it be weird if just our first son had a family mn? We eventually want 4 kids, and have a multitude of family names to choose from for future daughters, but any future sons would probably just have a name we like. My two sisters have my mom's deceased sisters' names for their mns and I just have a filler name and I always felt kinda left out.

AEN1029

I think it's fine. My brother is the only one out of 4 of us to not have a family name. It doesn't bother him at all.

DD1 does not have a family name, but my aunt died while I was pregnant with DD2 so her mn is my aunt's name. DC3 will have a family mn as well. I don't think it's really a huge deal.

sugar212

My little sister is Brianna (first name!) after our dad, Brian. My name is just a name my parents liked. it doesn't bother me at all. I tease her about it, but she knows I am just kidding. 

bobcee

I think it's fine.  My older brother has my dad's fn as his mn and I have my mom's fn as my mn, while my younger brother just has a name they liked.  It's not like he's any less of the family or anything because of it and it has never bothered him.

Crys1925

What about finding a female relative you want to honor and seeing if there is a masculine equivalent for her name?

austenreader85

I think it's fine!  Sometimes there's not enough nice family to go around.  And you shouldn't have to pretend that you're ok with the person just because you happen to also like the name.  I might reconsider that though if multiple people shared the same name.  Is there anyway you could get over it being GF name and focus it being your Dad's name?

strawberrytree

I don't know...my relationship with my dad has become considerably more complicated since marriage and kids. It's just become a bit of a loaded name for me and all the connections to the various men in his family it has.

I have thought about using a male version of my grandmother's name- she was Frances, so Francis is pretty straightforward. Her maiden name was Evans, which is also pretty useable, except that it's quite close to a few of the names we're considering.

Luckily I have some time to ponder this, haha.  

abbieaggie

I am the oldest of 4, my name is one my mom just liked, my sister is named after great-grandma, one of my brothers is a name my mom just liked and my youngest brother is named after my two uncles.  So my mom basically used family names every other kid... weird, but it never bothered me.  I am having a hard time trying to use family names for this last baby and we are due this Friday!  At least you have lots of time.  lol

JLGY

Yep. DD1 has my mom's name as her mn. DD2 is not going to have a family name because there's no one else I want to name her after.

My brother is named after both my grandpas (first and middle name). I wasn't named after anyone, just 2 names my parents liked. I don't care at all... it's never bothered me in the slightest. 

chibride4

IMO, the whole point of family names is to honor/memorialize said individuals, not to randomly assign names off the family tree or ancestry.com. Where's the sincerity in that? All names tell a story; just pick something meaningful to you and DH. It's equally significant.

BLPL101

I have a filler middle name and my brother has a family name. It has always bothered me. All my kids will have family middle names.

bigbootyjudi

I don't think it's a big deal. My middle sister has a family FN. She's named after my great-grandma, my mom's favorite person in the world. Never bothered me or my younger sister, my mom only had one great-grandma and my sister's name is NMS anyways.

ali26

We didn't give DD a family name, but this time around we've picked family names.  

All along I've wanted to use one of my grandfathers names as a MN for a boy.  Last time I really liked my great grandmothers name (Nora) but DH wasn't sold.  It has grown on him and its now our top choice for a girl name.