Intimacy on EDD

SA1112

So today is my EDD and while I am definitely upset about it, my DH is taking it pretty hard. I am in my FW and will probably ovulate today based on past cycles, in addition to the fact that I got a positive OPK last night and EWCM yesterday and today. When I tried to get DH into the bedroom he says that it just feels wrong today and he pretty much refused. I feel like a jerk now because he's upset with me but I just want a baby. I tried to explain to him that it doesn't mean that I'm not devastated about losing our first baby or that I am not sad today but I just want to give us the best chance this cycle to get pg. Am I cold and heartless for wanting to BD on our EDD? I'm already starting feel like a terrible person based on my DH's reaction

GavinRonansMom

I have not made it to my EDD yet, however I don't think you are being heartless or cold. You will never be replacing your first pregnancy, and I understand the overwhelming urge to get pregnant again, sometimes that takes over. Were you are to BD last night? I would try again and hopefully it will work!

hungryhippo

Huge hugs. It's so hard to deal when DH isn't up for it during FW time. I have to tell you the same thing I tell others, EDD or not. Never pressure your DH. At best, you might both feel weird about it. Imagine if you pressure him into it and you do conceive - is that how you want to remember it happening? At worst, it could cause performance issues now or later and that is absolutely awful. Don't do it. I know it is so hard to hear.

buggirl72

hungryhippo:

Huge hugs. It's so hard to deal when DH isn't up for it during FW time. I have to tell you the same thing I tell others, EDD or not. Never pressure your DH. At best, you might both feel weird about it. Imagine if you pressure him into it and you do conceive - is that how you want to remember it happening? At worst, it could cause performance issues now or later and that is absolutely awful. Don't do it. I know it is so hard to hear.

This.  (((hugs))) to you on your EDD. 

heather52904

hungryhippo:

Huge hugs. It's so hard to deal when DH isn't up for it during FW time. I have to tell you the same thing I tell others, EDD or not. Never pressure your DH. At best, you might both feel weird about it. Imagine if you pressure him into it and you do conceive is that how you want to remember it happening? At worst, it could cause performance issues now or later and that is absolutely awful. Don't do it. I know it is so hard to hear.

I agree. HUGS on your EDD.

SA1112

Thanks so much ladies. This day is hard enough as is but this just makes it more complicated. I definitely won't pressure him because I know this is hard on him and I want to respect what he needs today too.

nbcarlson

hungryhippo:

Huge hugs. It's so hard to deal when DH isn't up for it during FW time. I have to tell you the same thing I tell others, EDD or not. Never pressure your DH. At best, you might both feel weird about it. Imagine if you pressure him into it and you do conceive - is that how you want to remember it happening? At worst, it could cause performance issues now or later and that is absolutely awful. Don't do it. I know it is so hard to hear.

This exactly. Sorry he turned you down though, I hate that. Big hugs for your EDD.

hollandpandas

I don't think you are being cold, but I think he's just not ready. Let him grieve how he wants to, it might take him longer but when you are both ready the effort wont be forced.

Best of luck to you!

RedPhoenix625

Hugs for both you and DH today.  I agree with PPs - don't push him.  If roles were reversed and you were taking the day especially hard, you wouldn't want the pressure for him.  I definitely understand the desire to get pregnant again as soon as possible, and I also understand that the potential of a successful cycle may be helping to take your mind off your EDD and loss.  But if DH needs to grieve today instead of try again, help him with that the best you can.

So terribly sorry for your rough day.

MamaWomat

jenek0213:

I concur! Once you start pressuring - it becomes work and definitely can cause performance problems, as well as hurt your relationship. I made that mistake when we were TTC and it only made things worse. However I do have a little trick that I will share... if it were me, I would wake up early tomorrow and treat DH to some morning delight. Trust me, no guy can resist FWP if it starts with him waking up to a BJ.  

Yeah, pressure definitely complicates things, but it can be hard to resist. Morning is a great idea, though.