Blended Families
WWBFD?
Need opinions. I want to get a tattoo I have 3 already and I want it to be something about being a mom/SM. my idea is a design that incorporates my DD's name as well as my SKids names. So:
1 would you get your Skids names tattooed on you, why or why not?
2 if you would, would you tell BM?
3 if you're a BM would it offend you for your kids SM to tattoo their names?
For what it's worth, it'll be a small, understated tat on my forearm.
1 would you get your Skids names tattooed on you, why or why not?
2 if you would, would you tell BM?
3 if you're a BM would it offend you for your kids SM to tattoo their names?
For what it's worth, it'll be a small, understated tat on my forearm.
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Re: WWBFD?
I would not. However, I don't ever plan on getting any tattoo's ever, so it's kind of a moot point. BUT if I did, I would think long and hard about getting a SK's name.
BM's now exH got SS and BM's names tattoo'd on him. We were never officially told about it. To this day we shouldn't 'know'. SS told us about it when he did it.
DH wasn't happy about it. Nothing he could do about it, but it did hit him hard. I KNOW our BM would go BSC and probably come to my house with a gun if I got his name tattoo'd on me. But, our BM is crazy and you know that.
Her exH got it somewhere where it was always covered. We never actually saw it. BUT now they are divorced, and exH never see's SS. How awesome to have 2 people's names tattoo'd on him and he has nothing to do with either of them. IDK. I don't ever plan to divorce my H. My marriage is forever. BUT, you never know. I would feel like a schmuck to have SS's name on me and then have him ripped out of my life because of adult things that happen. I just think it's a very personal decision, it's very dependent on your situation, and I think it's something to talk to your DH about. I don't think anyone here can make that decision for you or tell you you are right or wrong for doing it.
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1.) No I wouldn't. No Names, and if I were to put names on my body it would be blood lines only.
2.) No answer since I wouldn't get it done
2.) If I would be a BM and the SM got a tattoo of my kids name on her I would be livid and then really hurt.
I've been in their lives since they were 2 4. And neither of them remembers a time when things weren't how they are now. I feel like if I just did DD's name by itself they might be hurt
I would not tattoo their names. And yes, if I find out anyone other than H has DD's name on them, I will lose it.
Consider getting an image that represents each one of them - for example, little birds or stars for each one. Or just their first initial maybe if anything.
I don't personally have any tattoos. I'm not opposed to them and did almost get one to celebrate my divorce.
If you're going to get the tattoo in a place the kids will never see, then I think do whatever you want.
But I would not personally be okay with me or DH getting a tattoo that excluded any of our kids if they would ever see it. Kids are just too sensitive, kwim? If they were teens I might think it wouldn't really matter to them...
I'm trying to imagine how I would feel if XH's gf got DS's name tattooed on her body. She's only met him like twice, so I think I would laugh. But if it were closer to your situation, I think I'd be touched that she wanted to include him. Even if it irritated me a tiny bit, it's more important to me that he feel loved.
!. No I would not. DH and BM both have tattoos for the kids and we are not in a good place with them right now.
2. Null and void I suppose, but I wouldn't. What I have on my body is no one else's business.
3. I'm not in a situation to be able to say for sure, but I don't think I would be offended by it. I would think it slightly strange though, just like I think it's slightly strange that my mother wants my DD's face on her arm. It's not her kid, so it seems a little weird.
I think it would be very odd to get a child's name tattooed on you that is not guaranteed to be your forever child.
I think it would be very disrespectful to their mom as well.
1. I'm not a SM but not unless I adopted the SK's, but at that point I would be AM and not SM.
2. I see no reason to tell another parent about a tattoo you get. It doesn't affect them and it's not their business.
but...
3. I'd be pissed. But, I'm the CP and have DS 95% of the time, so any SM he has isn't going to see him very frequently. Maybe the situation would be different if the BD in the situation was the CP or 50/50.
I don't think it's a great idea just like its not a great idea to get your Hs name tattood on you. I'm fairly heavily tattood and I'm giggling at a subtle forearm tattoo... Everyone will see and comment don't get this confused with understated.
I always preface (though in this case Post Script) my comment on this subject with the fact that if you are the PRIMARY CARE GIVER (ie BM is not in the picture) then your relationship is different and it would be totally appropriate to do this.
But even in a 50/50 custody situation, the BM is still in the picture and she is still the mother.
I wouldn't get names though. For some reason tattooing a name that Bm picked out makes me feel like she is somehow part of me too and I'm not down with that lol. I may tattoo my son's name on me but that's because my husband and I picked it together and it gives me happy feelings.
If I was a Bm I wouldn't care but I would raise my eyebrows a bit at the gesture.