intro (kinda long )

marthamillis12

Hey everyone,

 

I have been reading everyone's posts and this seems like a supportive group of people. I just got married May 19th 2012 and my husband and I decided to try for a baby in August. I am 24 and he is 28 and we are both healthy in general. To our surprise I got pregnant right away in august with a positive pregnancy test 8/22/2012. We were both so happy and excited for our future. I started having very light spotting and took an hcg test to see how my levels were progressing. A day before I got the results my body started to expel the early pregnancy. It was confirmed a mc Sept 4th. The worst experience of my life. It has been almost 3 months and we started officially " trying" this month with an opk testing positive november 12th I am on cycle day 24 and anxiously awaiting to see if we conceived again. It is all I ever think about, I am scared and excited at the same time and hoping the best for our future. Does everyone here feel like its constantly a waiting game? I want to enjoy my life but I am so fixated on this its all consuming. Any advice on how to think about other things than babies?? I see pregnant people and new mommies all the time and a close friend of mine just told me she is pregnant a couple weeks ago..I can't help but be jealous and I hate myself for that reaction...grrr, sorry kind of rambling on but getting it out of my system is the best! 

nbcarlson

I am so sorry for your loss. This board is great for support, all the ladies are amazing. We are all very used to the waiting game. And being jealous is very natural. If you haven't already I'd check out the TTCAL blog, the link is it at the top and it has tons of helpful info! Hope your stay is short and sweet!

YorkieLove4

Welcome, and ((hugs)) on your loss! It feels like a waiting game for sure!  For me it goes like this... You start trying which can be exciting and fun.  For me at least, I'm less crazy during the trying part, and I get very optimistic.  Then the waiting game happens where you're hoping and praying you're in for a BFP soon and for me I always test way too early, LOL.  Then, if AF shows her ugly self, and for me I'm at my very worst during this part.  And you get to do it all over again!  Oh joy! Sadly TTC is an evil waiting game and I don't have much advice to keep you from not thinking about babies...except just to busy yourself.  I hope you don't have to deal with the rollercoaster and can get pgal fast.  Best of luck! 

marthamillis12

Thanks for the responses ladies : )

I hate the waiting game! and I feel some what relieved that I am not crazy obsessed and that it is normal to feel this way... i don't know about you but I feel like part of my identity was changed like I am a different person.. for example when I think about how much I want a baby I consider how close I was to it happening and how you really can't talk about it with everyday people in your life because they just DO NOT get it. Its a very isolated grief that is almost taboo to talk about in public.. I send hugs your way as well : ) I don't know about you but this month I am like "we missed our chance" we didn't BD the day of the positive opk but we did the day after and the day after that ..still I am stressing waaaay to much!

CaliforniaDream87

I am so sorry for your loss.

Welcome to the board and I hope you get all the support you need here!

HUGS

Rachaeleigh

Sorry for your loss. Yes, it still feels like a waiting game every day, even though my dh and I aren't even technically trying right now. As PP have said, how you feel is completely normal. Welcome

lindsayanne14

Very sorry for your loss and welcome to the board! I hope you find the board to be as supportive and helpful as I have. As pp said, be sure to check out the newbie blog. Yes, the waiting stinks, I haven't found a way to distract myself from obsessing about TTC for the last 8 months. At least you've found good company!

GavinRonansMom

I am so sorry for your loss. This board is filled with amazingly supportive women. Everything you are feeling is totally normal. I hope you get your BFP soon and your stay here is short.

km_md

I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board. Everything that you are feeling is completely normal. You will get lots of support here from ladies who know exactly how you are feeling right now.

heather52904

I am sorry for your loss.  Welcome to the board.  As the ladies have said, how you feel is normal.  It's a constant waiting game and can feel all consuming.  HUGS

buggirl72

I'm sorry for your loss and welcome to the board.  If you do not get a BFP this cycle I would strongly suggest that you start charting your cycle and not relying only on OPKs. Fertilityfriend.com has a charting program that many of the ladies on this board use.

Beccabby

Welcome. Im sorry that you have found yourself here. However the ladies here are amazing and have helped me through my darkest hours! I hope your stay is short and sweet

MamaWomat

I'm really sorry for your loss, but I hope you find the support you need here. As others have said, baby/pregnancy-obsession is pretty much par for the course. I find that spending time here helps to minimize the amount of crazy that I makes it's way out IRL...but only sometimes.