Christmas sucks on even yrs :

Jessicadbaker

So I have primary custody of my daughter. Per our custody agreement my ex gets her for Christmas for a wk on even years. This is his yr ever since this started I do NOT enjoy Christmas on the yrs I don't have her. I just can't I feel bad for being in a pissy mood. My husband doesn't get it cause he just splits the Christmas Eve day with his ex for my step son we always Work Christmas around for him. He doesn't get that on these yrs that I dont have my daughter my daughter gets left out. She comes home the day after Christmas everyone else in the family has already opened enjoyed their presents. His parents live close, mine are deceased. I just wish they would be a little more considerate to her feelings. She's a great kid never complains appreciates all that is given to her. But she's almost 8 I know that it hurts her that at my house no one waits to do Christmas with her : .
Our 1st baby together is due in May so Im trying to focus on baby stuff not get mad every time someone mentions Christmas plans LOL.
Just needed to vent about my Grinch attitude ;

Ooglybear

I get what you're saying, and I totally can commiserate that BF holidays are stressful and sucky sometimes.  

But I think you should try not to dwell on the negatives. YD will probably be enjoying Christmas at her dad's house, not moping around feeling left out of your family's traditions. Really, she's getting two Christmases. (Not trying to invalidate your feelings, just emphasize the positives...)

I'm sorry you're feeling Grinch-y about it. I understand the feeling. It just comes with the territory.  

Littlejen22

Are her feelings hurt or are yours? I am not assuming but it might not helmet her feelings. Can you make an arrangement with SS' Mom to always get him the day she comes home at least for a few hours and keep gifts for everyone to open together? You can either have her give gifts she picked for everyone and she opens all her gifts or only have SD open Santa gifts on Christmas and the rest with her? Start traditions and make a special breakfast the same every year, have her/them open gifts in special Christmas PJs, listen to Christmas. Make a big deal of celebrating with her. And if you cannot wait for SS still do it, make sure you and DH get each other gifts even if it is 5 and have her pick gifts for you guys each take her shopping before seperately.. And make a special Christmas dinner.

jnjmommy0609

I get it but at the same time this is about your daughter. The girl gets TWO Christmas's and to top it off she still gets that full Christmas experience. Chances are she doesn't feel left out. Have you ever asked her how she feels?

Maybe you guys could make a yearly tradition for when she comes home. 

Jessicadbaker

Oh it's both of our feelings....mine with probably more frustration of what I can't change. My daughter doesn't understand why when it's Christmas yr at my house her dads family waits till she gets there the day after Christmas to do theirs. But at my house all she hears from everyone is how much fun Christmas will be. She asks if she's going to be there is told no not this yr. Her I are very close she talks to me. I think that's my other reason for hating to be with out her on Christmas. We are so close she is with me all the time.
But yep your right it comes with the territory. Its just hard sharing holidays with the ex, even though yes if course my daughter enjoys it so does her dad his fam of course. I would never try to take that from them. I have her the rest of the yr except on his weekends. No working anything out with SS's Mom we are in the middle of fighting for full custody. I'm just going to keep my Grinchness to myself LOL my daughter I will have our own special day when she comes home.

cole2144

I understand how you feel but at the same time why should your SS have to miss out on having Christmas morning on Christmas to make your daughter feel better?

FutureMrsWittig

Jessicadbaker:

Oh it's both of our feelings....mine with probably more frustration of what I can't change. My daughter doesn't understand why when it's Christmas yr at my house her dads family waits till she gets there the day after Christmas to do theirs. But at my house all she hears from everyone is how much fun Christmas will be. She asks if she's going to be there is told no not this yr. Her I are very close she talks to me. I think that's my other reason for hating to be with out her on Christmas. We are so close she is with me all the time. But yep your right it comes with the territory. Its just hard sharing holidays with the ex, even though yes if course my daughter enjoys it so does her dad his fam of course. I would never try to take that from them. I have her the rest of the yr except on his weekends. No working anything out with SS's Mom we are in the middle of fighting for full custody. I'm just going to keep my Grinchness to myself LOL my daughter I will have our own special day when she comes home.

I think it's a great idea to make a special tradition for these years.  Wake her up early, make hot chocolate and open presents.  Take lots of pictures, fuss over her a bit.

Littlejen22

But can you at least keep a gift from you to DH and from him to you to open in front of her? And have her get you and DH gifts to give on that day too?

Is the problem your family of four or extended family too? I am not being critical but really trying to help.