2 year old kicked out of daycare...

theb

Our daycare provider told us today that they would have to terminate services because our child pushed another child and does not play with other kids.

Be honest, is this behaviour normal for a 2 year old or should I be concerned.

Thanks

kevschickee2

It is normal but if it happens a lot then I can see why the DCP would terminate your service.  Imagine if it was your child that got hurt

buffalo_buckeye

Wow is this the first incident?  That seems pretty severe. I think a lot of 2 year olds push.  Is there really just a one incident and your out?  What does that teach the child?  I think either way I would be looking for new childcare if that is the approach they are taking.  You want someone with patience and consistency for a toddler.  That pretty much sums up how to get through the toddler phase, imo.

isabella22

Your child pushed a child 1 time and got kicked out?  What do they mean does not play with other kids?  Ever?  They didn't give you any warning before?

2 yo's push, bite, hit, etc.  All pretty normal I think.  If your DC was doing it every single day, that may be another thing...

mommy06

Is this the first time that you have heard about this?  I would be concerned about the fact that they did not tell you anything for you to try to correct the behavior before they kicked him out.

PoundCake

If its the first incident, I think its rather harsh.  If its the 3rd or 6th incident, and they haven't ever mentioned it to you, I think its the wrong way to handle things.

And I agree with the others that if this is the way they handle things, I'd rather find another daycare.

DevonPow

Have they talked to you about this before? Is it an ongoing problem? If this was a 1st time incident without other extenuating issues, it is ridiculous to have them kick him out. My 18 month old is in a pushing stage right now and his DCP is working with me to deal with it and seems very unphased.

BubblyToes

I think that's crazy.  I also think that there has to be more to the story.  I go pick up my child and there's always kids pushing each other around.  Toddlers are rough creatures.  I think there's more you're not telling us.

Jen2124

Ditto Bubbly.

MrsSledge

Have that talked to you about your DC's behavior before?  How long has DC been with this provider?

DD has been at her place since 6 weeks old, and I have received repeated reports of her pushing, biting, hiitting, not sharing, not playing well, etc. Those things have mostly calmed down, but I never got the impression that they would consider terminating.

 Anyway, what I think I was saying is that it sounds like normal bahavior to me.   Weird if they haven't said anything before.  I would definitely thank your lucky stars that you are getting away now if this is how they are.

shopgirl78

Ditto the pps.  That does seem severe for a first time offense. 

Littlejen22

Pushing another child once or even a few times should not get them kicked out but doing it all the time should.  My DS was bitten by the same girl 3 times and I know she had bitten at least one other child but she was the owners Granddaughter (in a fairly large center) and I had to take DS out.

rebs

Something is strange here.  Is this a problem that has been going on for a while?  Have you been working together to fix it?  And what do they mean 'does not play with other kids'?  Two years olds often just play side by side but do not interact.  Or does he not want any other kids near him or playing with whatever he has (which I can see being a problem)

Regardless, if this is the first offense they are handling it badly.  I can only see it being necessary to let him go if he is always hurting other kids and you aren't willing to help solve the problem.  Do you think maybe they are just looking for a reason to let him go to make space for someone else?

JOEBunny

There is a kid in my playgroup who is really aggresive.  If he were in a daycare situation, I can see where he would be very disruptive and cause 4X as much work as the other kids (not to mention damage).  I think I would probably at least read some books and monitor his behavior closely, in not talk to a ped about it.  I don't think most daycares kick kids out for "normal" behavior.  I worked in daycare and a kid had to be pretty terrible.  Sorry you have to go through that.

theb

Thanks for all your replies.

This is the first time that I heard about it and they said the only time she had pushed the child.

They also said that when they take her to other play groups in the community that she doesn't share her toys, and she sits by herself and plays. I thought that's what 2 year olds do? Am I wrong?

The parent was so upset by the incident that he was almost in tears. The mom looks after the kids, but he is home too so he was concerned. Basically the mom said that she still wanted our daughter to come and maybe after we had all talked about it, we could talk to dd at home and maybe it would stop. They also said she is very bossy and doesn't repond well to time outs. I don't know much else to do with a 2 year old other than talking, explaining, time outs.

I have spoken with my dd about it, but she's only 2, I am not sure how much she understands.

We are looking at other daycares in the mean time, so maybe it is better that we didn't continue with this daycare.

Any ideas for teaching her not to hit, push ,boss, etc?

Thanks

cornichon

So.. she pushed the owners child? May explain the overreaction. ?Many kids start playing together as opposed to side by side around age 2 but the fact that your dd isn't yet, wouldn't cause me concern. ?The not sharing thing is very common. ?Is your DCP doing anything to try and get her to play with other kids or doe she just let her play by herself?

I don't think that talking it out with a 2 year old will accomplish much in the short run. ?I totally agree that you need to explain why she is in time out but this is a conversation that you will have many, many times with her. ?you can't expect to talk to her tonight and have her behave completely differently come Monday morning. ?If time outs aren't working what about taking toys/privileges away? ?Some children respond better to that discipline method ?

theb

We have tried to take away her priviledge to watch movies and that seemed to work really well.

We did tell her that now that she pushed the child, that she would have to go to anothe daycare. The daycare is just starting so there aren't many kids there and she has a bossy personality. I thought maybe this is why she thought she was allowed to do this?

What they told me is that when they go to bigger playgroups she will talk with the providers, but not with the other kids. When the kids come to play she will hang onto the toy and turn away from the kids- so they don't try to take her toy I suppose.

I thought that 2 years olds really didn't play much together, and the pushing and no sharing was normal. But after talking with the daycare they made it seem like she was quite agressive. They didn't mention that she had done this before, so it was quite a surprise to me.

I can understand their overraction because it's their child and he is quieter than my dd.

Thanks again.