Baby shower for the next baby to be = tacky?

chlsbshp

So I am torn on this one, DH wants to have a baby shower for our second (and probably last child), but I was told by my mother that you do not get a baby shower for your second child... I was wondering your thoughts on the subject.

shadypines

We did have a shower for our 2nd son. Well there is a 9yr gap. For our DD we had a welcome home/meet the baby after she was born. I say do what you feel like doing. GL

[Deleted User]

I think you meant to post here:

 https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/4236740/ShowForum.aspx

Hesterlicious

You definitely don't throw your own shower. "Hey come to this party we are having. We will give you a piece of cake in exchange for buying stuff for our kid!"

Second showers are definitely frowned on since you should have all the basics from your first child already. I am going to one on Sunday but I already gave the mommy her gift. (We have showers after the baby is born here)

You might want to try asking here

 https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/4236740/ShowForum.aspx

They are the professionals.

penguingrrl

In my circle second baby showers are not done. I've heard the argument that each baby should be celebrated, but to me the shower is for and about the parents-to-be and you celebrate the baby after s/he has arrived. My babies are definitely celebrated, but not by showering the parents with gifts (which is, by definition, what a baby shower is).

Smootchy

I don't think it's too tacky if someone [mom, mil, friend etc] offers or insists on throwing one for you.
I do however think its tacky for parents to want one/ask for one on a second child.
Can't see siggy, are your kids like 10 years apart of anything?

LoveBeingAWife33008

Someone threw us one and it was nice.  Don't do it yourself but if someone decides to do it for you, why not?!

ali_bl-nov05

Meh. Depends on who you ask and what is acceptable in you social circle. I had one for my second (I was having a different gender)

As a guest, I don't mind being invited to a second child's baby shower. I do buy a smaller gift, thought. 

ABColeslaw

ali_bl-nov05:

Meh. Depends on who you ask and what is acceptable in you social circle. I had one for my second (I was having a different gender)

As a guest, I don't mind being invited to a second child's baby shower. I do buy a smaller gift, thought. 

I agree.  Depends on your circle.  What might be more okay with your circle is if a friend threw you a diaper party or sprinkle with just close friends. It doesn't sound like the older generation of your family would be okay with the shower.  But a group of 8 friends having some lunch and snacks, talking babies, and getting excited with you about your baby is okay

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

2nd showers don't bother me, but throwing your own shower does. If someone offered to throw you, I'd say go for it. But if it's just your DH asking to have one, then no, don't do it.

[Deleted User]

penguingrrl:

In my circle second baby showers are not done. I've heard the argument that each baby should be celebrated, but to me the shower is for and about the parents-to-be and you celebrate the baby after s/he has arrived. My babies are definitely celebrated, but not by showering the parents with gifts (which is, by definition, what a baby shower is).

This. I agree with this. Also, you don't throw your own shower. So hypothetically, even if you were to have a second shower, someone needs to offer to throw it for you. You can't just decide to have a shower for yourself. Now, THAT'S tacky!

Wufroggy79

I guess it depends on where you are from, but here you would never have a shower for a second baby or marriage.  If people want to send you a little gift or outfit or whatever, they do it on their own post baby's arrival.

nanabanana06

Throwing your own shower, big no no.

However, I think second showers have loopholes. Those loopholes are extreme difference in age, multiples, or different daddies. Which is what happened with me. I didn't want a second shower (I find them tacky) and SMIL guilted me into one for DH and FIL. Since this is their first grandbaby.

nikip6454

Nana_Osaki06:

Throwing your own shower, big no no.

However, I think second showers have loopholes. Those loopholes are extreme difference in age, multiples, or different daddies. Which is what happened with me. I didn't want a second shower (I find them tacky) and SMIL guilted me into one for DH and FIL. Since this is their first grandbaby.

I agree but wanted to add that # being a different sex does not equal a loophole.  My SIL wanted all boy specific gear for her first, got pregnant with #2 right away and wanted all pink stuff, tough.  I went for because she is family but I bought diapers, wipes and that tpe of stuff.  It was annoying that she thought we should all buy her a new swing, carseat, stroller, etc. because she didn't want to put her girl in blue gear. (I guess it may just be a SIL vent)

nanabanana06

nikip6454:

Nana_Osaki06:

Throwing your own shower, big no no.

However, I think second showers have loopholes. Those loopholes are extreme difference in age, multiples, or different daddies. Which is what happened with me. I didn't want a second shower (I find them tacky) and SMIL guilted me into one for DH and FIL. Since this is their first grandbaby.

I agree but wanted to add that # being a different sex does not equal a loophole.  My SIL wanted all boy specific gear for her first, got pregnant with #2 right away and wanted all pink stuff, tough.  I went for because she is family but I bought diapers, wipes and that tpe of stuff.  It was annoying that she thought we should all buy her a new swing, carseat, stroller, etc. because she didn't want to put her girl in blue gear. (I guess it may just be a SIL vent)

I'm lucky that all DD's stuff migrated to my SIL, who is using all of her pink things on her new baby boy. I was smarter this time around and got things all gender neutral. Much easier for little boys apparently, since I hate the color blue.

Icarusalsoflew

sofamonkey:

I think you meant to post here:

 https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/4236740/ShowForum.aspx

This question will go over just peachy over there, I'm sure.