Negative Comments About Bedrest

PregoAnja

I've had a number of people comment lately that I'm going to end up on bedrest.  I'm only 15.5 weeks along, but I'm very petite so I'm showing quite a bit.  I realize these people 1) don't actually know what they are talking about, and 2) are not realizing how they could be adding to my worries, but it's still hard to hear.  The most difficult ones are my co-workers because, unlike strangers, they have the opportunity to repeat the worrying comments over and again.  Does anyone have any advice on how I should respond? 

LadyNikon

I don't think they know they are negative comments.  I got that all the time. My boss was frantic cause she thought I would be on bedrest by week 20. Everyone I know  are "shocked" that I am not on bed rest.  I know two twin moms who were on bed rest at around 25 weeks so the idea that I am walking about is unheard of to them.  Just say I hope to have a healthy and uneventful pregnancy but thank you for your concern. You will hear a lot of crap about being pregnant.  ESPECIALLY with multiples. Don't let it worry you. <-- yea i know fat chance. 

2moms2b

I was in the same boat.  Everyone I knew would tell me that I was going to end up on bed rest, never make it to 37 weeks etc just because I am so small. I will say is to most people I just respond, I know a lot of people do end up on bed rest but I am doing everything in my power to keep me and LOs healthy and mobile.  That generally will make them realize that bed rest is not a vacation and they will not bring it up again. 

I have also told other people I am not sure what the future holds but for right now I am upright and thankful for every moment. 

I am now nearing that 28 week mark and resting as much as possible to increase my odds of not being told to reduce work or put on bed rest.  

Best of luck and honestly no one can predict what you will need to do to keep those babies cooking so just try and brush it off.  If they keep it up feel free to say something like why would you wish bed rest on me as that would mean something is wrong etc.  That will shut them up pretty quick. 

Ruthie04

I had the same issue. Because I am so petite, everyone thought I would be on bed rest no later than August. I delivered one week before my scheduled c/s after my water broke. I was on bed rest for two weeks in the end, but only because of IUGR in both of the boys (I was conserving calories for them). Despite constant contractions, I had no other signs of PTL. It was so frustrating. I just explained the stats to those that mentioned it. They are much better tahn most believe. Also, I explained that my physicians were confident I could do it and they did not think my size would have any negative impact on my pregnancy. 

tirsabel

I felt the same way. I'm in the medical field and all the nurses and docs around me that's all they would say is how I wasn't going to make it in the office and how I was going to end up on bedrest, they'd be lucky if i made it in the office til 34 weeks, etc

I found it frustrating to hear and felt like it was negative too, like no one had any faith.  in the end, here I am 36 weeks, and I opted to go out this week because of pain and being in the office issues - delivery next week.  

 take it with a grain of salt.  actually being on this board made me see how many people DO make it to term with twins and it was encouraging to see that.

pixiem38

I.got the.bedrest.comments.from.everyone.early.on.as.well, and.it.ws.incredibly.frustrating (i.am.also.short). Unfortunately, i.AM on.some.version.of bedrest (i am.locked up.in the.hospital, but allowed.to.do.whatever, as long as.it.is.in.my.room), BUT, it.is because.my doctor is being.crazy.conservative b/c of.the ttts.....not because.of.any other reason like.ptl or.promn. It.bothers me.that people.think.i.ended up here b/c i am small, b/c.it.is not the case.

D&HMom

People just don't get it.  My MIL kept telling me that there was no way I would carry by twins to term.  It couldn't be done She even reduced her work schedule so she could be available to look after preemies.  I was fortunate enough to have a very healthy pregnancy and did make it to 3 hours before my schedule section with no bedrest or complications.  Now she goes on and on about how she had planned on preemies and didn't have them.

I kid you not. She wants people to feel sorry for her because her grandkids didn't have to face all of those horrible medical hurdles.  I cringe every time she goes on about...but so not worth the effort.  

You'll get used it eventually.  People say dumb stuff.

yinyang124

Pretty much everyone told me I would end up on bed rest because I'm petite, and I did but not for the reasons they thought. I used to just say "Well, I feel good now so let's hope not."

elizabeth0705

I was in the same boat--petite and carrying twins. One of my neighbors told me that I was going to spend the entire third trimester on bed rest. Realllly nice.

As it turns out, I was on bed rest for half of the second and third trimesters, but it had nothing to do with my size (and was just a precaution due to contractions). In fact, most of my doctors have said that my overall health/fitness going into the pregnancy contributed to me feeling well for this long and having good blood pressure so late into the pregnancy. True, you may feel stuff more (contractions, etc.) if you are thin/petite to begin with, but that is a good thing because you will immediately know if anything is up. 

I were you, I would just politely inform my coworkers that size has nothing to do with it. Remind them that you are already under extra medical care and that they do not need to worry on your behalf!

MelleTX

I got this all the time too. I successfully made it to 32 weeks with ZERO complications, then pre-ecclampsia set in and just like that - hospital bed rest, out of the blue. But, now I am 34 weeks and doing so well that my doc only moved my c-section up to 37 weeks. 

You never know what will happen. Bed rest is not the end of the world and does not mean you will have preemies who will need NICU time.

Just take it day by day and enjoy as much as you can.  

TaterTwins

My MFM actually told me she'd be surprised if I made it to viability before delivering, and that she expected me to be on hospital bedrest by 22 weeks with my twins.  I did end up there, but not until about 30 weeks.  My guys came at 33.  Even doctors can be wrong

kelandspence2012

I would just blow it off! I know its hard to because it makes you worry! I always heard "youre so tiny how will you be able to carry twins? " im 4'11" and i carried my boys to 37 weeks and 4 days with no complications except placenta previa which corrected itself by the second trimester! Try not to worry and enjoy your pregnancy!

hayleydeee

Maybe you could just respond with something like "well, I'm trying to think optimistically" or "I'm staying positive in hopes that it won't come to that". 

Everyone wants to be an expert, it's annoying. Luckily I didn't get to much of that IRL, but I've seen it being on these boards. If all else fails just smile and nod, and then move on to something else. 

PregoAnja

Thanks ladies! I really appreciate the encouragement. It's even better to be encouraged by people who truly understand.