Daycare Enrollment Advice

tessajd

My daughter is transitioning into daycare at one-year-old and I could use some words of wisdom about how to deal with it emotionally.  I left her there for only an hour today and cried outside after I said "bye".  What can I tell myself that will make me feel better?  We picked a great place and I feel that she is safe there.  It's just that I've had a year of pure "mommy and me" time and I feel empty dropping her off.  It's really hard.

rosesandpeonies

its ok to be upset and just know it does get better in most ways.  The thing you can tell yourself is that she is happy, well cared for and that she is meeting new friends.  It isn't easy but let me tell you my daughter has thrived.  She is 21 months and at 18 months she wasn't even speaking a word, just babbling.  NOw she has completely caught up and speaks two word sentences, counts, identifies shapes, etc.  Not only that but I can see the how happy she is with her teachers and how well cared for she is.

The first week or two is not easy so just keep yourself as busy as possible.  Good Luck Mommy everything will be alright  

Caseyk1127

It gets easier. For me it took about 2 good weeks before I wasnt a wreck all day and it took DS almost as long to adjust and he was only 12 weeks old. We still have some hard drop off days but I know he's safe and happy (they have cameras I can watch). Actually now he seems confused on the weekends when he doesn't go and he's learned so much from the teachers and other kids.

Soap1

This is WAY harder on you than it is on her.  Day care is good for kids and for moms.  This is absolutely not saying anything against SAHM - if that's what works for you, then great!  But day care is a way to have your child taught by someone who's been trained to teach children her age.  It's a way for her to learn to be independent and to explore her world without you as her safety net.  It's a way for her to get used to interacting with other kids.  I worked at a day care for older kids during college (6-7 year olds) and it was easy to tell which children had been in day care since they were babies/toddlers and which hadn't! 

And for you, it's a chance for you to form an identity outside of your daughter.  There's nothing wrong with have mom as part of (even the primary part of) your identity, but this is a chance for you to remember what it's like to be YOU.  To have a job, a hobby, interests outside of motherhood.  That's healthy because it is teaching your daughter that she doesn't have to give up her own identity whenever she wants to become a mother.  It's helpful for my sons because they can learn that their future wives are not just homemakers.

Sometimes moms who spend 24/7 with their kids forget who they are.  They become really wrapped up in a very small world of diapers and bottles and parenting decisions that aren't really very important in the long run (cloth v disposable diapers? Who gives a crap! Do what works for you!) 

So take this opportunity and run with it!  

dor79

I agree it is way harder on mommy then it is on baby.  After three months back my guilt is finally starting to go away.  I am still adjusting to leaving DS with someone other than me.  I love our sitter to death, but I really really wish I could be home with him.

I cried for weeks knowing he was going to daycare soon.  To make things easier on me, I have my husband drop him off.  I get pick up time when my son is soooo happy to see me.

lauralovesbob

DS has gone through some separation issues in the morning, which makes it really hard to leave him. I've stayed with him or showed up randomly during the day, and pretty soon he forgets I'm there and is playing with the other kids. It might be helpful for the transition if you allow yourself some time to hang out and see what he's up to. It's rewarding to see what they are learning also. DS is much more polite to  and not scared of other kids when we go to the park or indoor play structures, which I certainly didn't teach him!

I also love getting pictures -- our daycare has an online photo album (for parents and caregivers only), and it's nice to see all the activities he does during the day that I don't have the patience or energy for (i.e. messy sensory table activities and giant painting messes).

It gets easier!

blu-eyedwife

My guy is also going through separation issues in the morning right now, but he's been in daycare since April, so I know it's just a little drama on his part and he loves it there.

That's what really helps - He LOVES it there.  He is all smiles when I pick him up, and he doesn't want to leave.  He has little friends he plays with (yesterday, he and "Mike" were rolling around on the floor together).  He has the opportunity to play with more/different toys there than we have at home.  He gets to play outside every day.  They go on "field trips" (where they load his class up in wagons and take them around campus to the gardens or other areas).  And he gets much more individualized attention than at home where I'm always trying to play with him AND (make dinner, clean up, do work, entertain the dog, etc.)

The things I love about my daycare are the fact that they do artwork and send it home on a fairly regular basis (our fridge is already full!) and they take lots of pictures each month and post them to a parent's site.  So I can see how much fun he's having during the day.

tessajd

You all are amazing.  Thank you so much!!

Amaryllis619

i used to have the same issue when dropping DD off at daycare. i felt like a failure that i couldn't be both a SAHM and make money that my family depended on... I cried every day when i dropped her off and felt so guilty working.

but then i realized something. DD is well taken care of, as i had researched and found her a great place to socialize/play/learn while i was busy working.  She really has blossomed and enjoys playing/learning with other children her age.  that's not an experience she could have recieved being at home with just me.  I also find that I'm a happier mama when i get to really focus on my work, so when i pick her up from daycare she gets 110% of my attention.  I find that i'm able to really cherish each moment with her more, since we have time apart during the week.  and i remembered that because i'm working, we can afford to have nice meals, buy nice clothes for her, enjoy family vacations, and have a nice home to live in.  our financial outlook would be much different if i wasn't working... so all in all it's win/win for my family.

try to focus on the positive experiences you both recieve and not the negative. outlook/perspective really has helped me.

tessajd

I just looked back on this post as baby #2 starts daycare tomorrow. I've had both kids home for the past year. Thanks again for the advice, ladies! Soap 1, your post struck a particular nerve for me and is what made me look this up again. Thank you all!!