Adoption

Maybe a stupid question

When you adopt a baby, like in a infant newborn adoption, do you get to name the baby or does the birth mom name the baby beforehand?
7/18/12-1st RE appointment CD2 blood work taken. Told to move straight to IVF. Starting BC pills and FSH injections plus Lupron. Hopefully doing ET in September Off BCP March 2011 Started TTC July 2011 7 months TTC with no luck an then.... Diagnosed 2/24/12 with 2 Ovarian Cysts. 3/22/12-Lap to remove cysts, look for endo, and see if tubes are clear. 3/22/12-Diagnosed with Severe Endo(tubes are clear). 4/4/12-Post op OBGYN appointment. Told chances of conceiving naturally are very low, but told conceiving in the next few months is our best chance due to being cleaned out during Lap. Referred to a RE. RE said IVF is our only chance to get pregnant. Told only a 20% chance even with two put in. 9/5-Lupron 9/20 Stims(Menopur & Follistim) 9/30 Trigger time 10/2 ER 10/3 fert report-out of 7 eggs retrieved only 2 fertilized. Hello "Thing 1 and Thing 2!" Kinda sad there is none to freeze. Because only 2 we will have 2DT to get them back into a natural envionment 10/4 ET. Found out that only 1 divided. We love you "Thing 2." Thing 1 is now snuggled inside me and we are praying it will be our take home baby! **Did not even make it to my beta, the day before on 10/16/12 I got my F'in period** Such a stab in the heart. Nov 2012-Moving onto domestic newborn adoption! Can't wait for my take home baby. We will try IVF again after 1-2 years of a clear head. Need a break from infertility treatments/issues for my mental sanity! image

Re: Maybe a stupid question

  • The birth mom is allowed to name the baby whatever she wants on the birth certificate.  Sometimes she chooses the name she wants, sometimes she will choose the name the adoptive parent have chosen.  The adoptive parents can call the baby whatever they want once they take custody and finalize the name change and receive a new birth certificate when the adoption is finalized by the courts.  (This is how it works in Texas, at least)
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  • Genrally the birth parents name the baby, and that name goes on their original birth certificate. After the adoption is finalized, a new bc is issued with whatever name the adoptive parents choose.

    Naming our son was a joint venture between us and his birth parents. The short version is on his orig bc his name is [current middle name] [bdads first name] [birthmoms last name]. His amended bc will have his name as [new first name] [middle name] [our last name]. We chose his first name w their input, and they chose his middle name.

    I think you will find a wide variance in how this plays out in domestic adoptions generally. Sometimes the birth parents pick their own name and it get changed completely, sometimes the bparents use the name the adoptive parents choose, and sometimes it's a combo like in our case.
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  • Thanks girls!
    7/18/12-1st RE appointment CD2 blood work taken. Told to move straight to IVF. Starting BC pills and FSH injections plus Lupron. Hopefully doing ET in September Off BCP March 2011 Started TTC July 2011 7 months TTC with no luck an then.... Diagnosed 2/24/12 with 2 Ovarian Cysts. 3/22/12-Lap to remove cysts, look for endo, and see if tubes are clear. 3/22/12-Diagnosed with Severe Endo(tubes are clear). 4/4/12-Post op OBGYN appointment. Told chances of conceiving naturally are very low, but told conceiving in the next few months is our best chance due to being cleaned out during Lap. Referred to a RE. RE said IVF is our only chance to get pregnant. Told only a 20% chance even with two put in. 9/5-Lupron 9/20 Stims(Menopur & Follistim) 9/30 Trigger time 10/2 ER 10/3 fert report-out of 7 eggs retrieved only 2 fertilized. Hello "Thing 1 and Thing 2!" Kinda sad there is none to freeze. Because only 2 we will have 2DT to get them back into a natural envionment 10/4 ET. Found out that only 1 divided. We love you "Thing 2." Thing 1 is now snuggled inside me and we are praying it will be our take home baby! **Did not even make it to my beta, the day before on 10/16/12 I got my F'in period** Such a stab in the heart. Nov 2012-Moving onto domestic newborn adoption! Can't wait for my take home baby. We will try IVF again after 1-2 years of a clear head. Need a break from infertility treatments/issues for my mental sanity! image
  • Like others said it varies by situation. We were able to name our DD.  Our BM didn't have a name for her and asked us what we planned to name her.  

    TTC since March 2010, BFP #1 11.09.10, ectopic, m/c 12.14.10 (10w)
    Clomid + TI=BFN, IUIs 1-6= BFN
    Application for domestic adoption submitted 4/18/12, matched 8/12/12, DD born 10/31/12


     

  • Yes, same here. My DD was sent home as Baby Girl (last name). My mom named her and when I adopted her I kept the first name, added my best friend's middle name and my last name. I got a new BC when I adopted her and we got another new one when my husband adopted her. 
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  • My birth mom named me, and when my parents adopted me, they changed my name to suit them. I'm actually really glad they did as I never really liked the first name my bio parents chose for me, tbh.
    TTC since 2004, Ectopic 2005, lost right tube. Multiple miscarriages. Baby girl born June 2013.
  • Not a stupid question, and you'll learn more about it as you go through the process.

    The answer depends somewhat on the relationship the APs and BPs have. Some BPs have names in mind, and if the APs aren't on board, that's a dealbreaker. Some APs and BPs discuss name choices and "negotiate" (for lack of a better word) the name (maybe the BP's choice is the middle name, for example). Some BPs don't have a name in mind and are OK with whatever the APs choose.

    And ultimately it sort of doesn't matter, because the child gets and amended birth certificate (with the APs' names on them) after finalization.

    In our case, DD's BM had already had her when we were matched. She didn't want just "Baby Girl X" on the BC, so she came up with a name for DD. However, she was open to us naming her whatever we wanted, and it was one of the first things we talked about when we met. She loved the name we chose, and that's what we all call DD.

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