Am I overreacting?

bloverde

Little man is 6mo and we plan to start solids on Thanksgiving. DH feeds him 4oz at 8a, 11a, 2p and 4p fairly consistently. He goes to an in home daycare once per week for the past month. The first week she fed 20oz in 9 hours, so I've been sending premade bottles.

Today I BF at 7:45a. She gave him 4oz at 9a, 12p and 2p. She said he was still "starving" at 3p and gave him 2oz of water! She didn't even call me to ask if it was ok. I was actually done with work and taking an hour for myself and would have just picked him up early.

I'm upset she did that without asking. I know water here and there won't hurt him, especially since we'll start some sips with solids. Am I over reacting?

rachael_c26

No, not in my opinion. I'd be angry too.

Mike_Patti

Nope. Not overreacting. That was just dumb of them to do that.

We bring DD to a daycare center. They are not allowed to feed them anything except for what is brought in by the parents and indicated on a feeding instruction sheet filled out by us. IMO, daycare should only feed what you give them permission to.

bloverde

I told her that DH never has to feed him that much and that he was probably just fussy. After I posted I felt in his mouth and found his first tooth poking through. So I'm sure he was just angry all day. And I told her she should have called me if she was out of milk. After feeding him 20oz in 9hr I just don't trust her with extra milk. I have a hard enough time pumping enough for him.

sooner1981

Really?  She left 12 ounces for a 6 month old for an entire day, and the DC provider knew he was hungry, didn't have anything else to offer, so gave him two ounces of water?  Yeah, I do think you are overreacting.  Our pediatrician (attending physician at our state's highest-rated Children's Hospital, BF mom to three kids of her own) said to start giving one to two ounces of water a day at just a little over 4 months.  Most parents (including us) were well into solids by 6 months, and docs all say offer water with meals if you EBF.  So, it isn't like she gave your LO something toxic.

Now, if you make it clear to her going forward that you have decided that you don't want your LO to have water for whatever reason, then you can reasonably expect that she not do it on a go-forward basis.  But she had NO idea you would react so strongly to something that is pretty common practice.

Just another perspective...

bloverde

I left 12oz for 7 hours, and I feed at drop off and pick up. He also still eats every 2 hours at night. So please dont act shocked and allude that I'm under feeding my child. And like I said, I planned on giving him water when we start solids in two days. It's the fact that she fed my child something without asking me when I've told her he is EBF and hasn't been given anything else yet.

 

Edit: Also, how do you know he was hungry? When I picked him up he stopped fussing immediately. It had been three hours from his last feeding and 2 hours from the water at that point, but he still didn't eat. If he was "starving" I'm sure when I offered him the breast as soon as I picked him up he would have taken it.

tokenhoser

sooner1981 isn't really into supporting breastfeeding or having caregivers that follow your preferences. 12 oz for 7 hours is a pretty generous amount, and breastmilk isn't limitless like a new can of formula.

 It sounds like your daycare just sticks a bottle in his mouth when he fusses. I don't think she's a good fit for you and would start looking elsewhere.

sooner1981

I wouldn't speak for me, if I were you, tokenhoser.  I absolutely support breastfeeding.  And, like I said above, if she had specifically said "no water," then the DC should have followed her preferences.  But if she didn't specifically say no water, then I don't think 2 ounces of water is worth blowing a gasket over--she said herself that she would be feeding her LO water within two days.  It is not like she gave a 2 week old water.  The kid is 6 months old--the large majority of kids at this age have been introduced to water.  There is no medical reason not to give a 6 month old 2 ounces of water--especially when they are teething and miserable.

Don't speak for me.  I have successfully EBF my 8.5 month old.  I have plenty of experience BF-ing and supporting friends and family in their BF-ing adventures.  But I just wouldn't advise someone getting "livid" over their DC provider giving their 6 month old 2 ounces of water while they teething and acting super hungry.  There are lots of things that are worth getting worked up over--this one, in my opinion, is not one of them.

The point of this message board is for people to come and share their ideas.  Just because I appear to have the minority opinion on this issue doesn't mean my opinion is any less valid than yours. 

I am Marla Singer

sooner1981:

Really?nbsp; She left 12 ounces for a 6 month old for an entire day, and the DC providernbsp;knew he was hungry, didn't have anything else to offer, so gave him two ounces of water?nbsp; Yeah, I do think you are overreacting.nbsp; Our pediatrician attending physician at our state's highestrated Children's Hospital, BF mom to three kids of her own said to start giving one to two ounces of water a day at just a little over 4 months.nbsp; Most parents including us were well into solids by 6 months, and docs all say offer water with meals if you EBF.nbsp; So, it isn't like she gave your LO something toxic.
Now, if you make it clear to her going forward that you have decided that you don't want your LO to have water for whatever reason, then you can reasonably expect that she not do it on a goforward basis.nbsp; But she had NO idea you would react so strongly to something that is pretty common practice.
Just another perspective...

This, my LO gets water every day. She is also fed solids. If you don't give her enough milk to get him through, what do you expect her to do? Some days my kid eats more than others, I always have extra milk. My providers also offer solids and water on demand. I think you are way over reacting.

AimeeL85

I do not think you are overreacting.  They should not be giving your LO anything that you have not specifically told them they can, period.  It shouldn't matter if you never said "he can't have water,"  you didn't say he can, so they shouldn't give it. If they wanted to, they should have called first.

Sept07b2b

Guys, it's 2 oz of water for a 6 month old baby!!  The DCP did not give the baby a piece of cake?!  

I don't know about you, but I trust my DCP completely and actually frequently rely on them for certain developmental things (like when to switch to a sippy cup, etc. - you know, the sort of the things you would come onto a random, anonymous chat board to ask about), since they have been doing this for years!  Although I agree that generally DCP shouldn't give your LOs things you hadn't given permission to give, the vast majority of moms wouldn't think twice about someone giving their 6 month old 2 oz of water.  I'm sure the DCP was going off of her many years of experience and knowledge when making that decision!!  If you trust your DCP, you should trust your DCP.  You cannot control everything about that relationship, and unless something they are doing is harmful or specifically against your wishes, I say go with it!  It's the perils of being a working mom (which I've learned from being one)!  Definitely overreacting! 

aliena

It's clearly not the 2oz of water, it's the trust violation.  What if she decided to give some food that your baby was allergic to (that she wasn't aware of). Also, what if she wasn't aware that you had already given some water for that day. We only write what we have given at the most recent feed on our sheets in the am.  Providers need to communicate better.  That's why I would be upset.

kgauntt

I actually think it's crazy that they didn't call and ask you.

JKB1986

I would for sure be pissed. If they run out of milk they know to call me and I will bring more. My doctor has never told me to start giving my baby water either. It isn't necessary at all.

huskymomma94

I think its fine to be annoyed that she gave the water without asking, especially if baby had never had water and you had never discussed it before. That being said, I think its an overreaction for some to say that you need a new provider, based on this alone. Sounds like you need to have a discussion with her. 

I will say, when my DS is cranky and teething (but has already nursed or had a bottle recently), a sippy cup of water is a good distraction. A few ounces aren't going to hurt him and I want him to like the taste of water.

tokenhoser

I wouldn't be leaving over the water.

I'd be leaving over the fact that all she seems to do with this fussy baby is shove a bottle in his face. 20 oz in 9 hours? That's crazy. She doesn't seem to have any strategy aside from feed, feed, feed. She thinks any sound = "starving".

zxe1106

Wow.  I feel like I under feed my (25lb)  son now after reading how much you pack your son.  Mine is almost 10 months old and I only recently started packing 2 2-3 oz cups of milk and sometimes he doesn't go through that.  I don't feed him right before we leave, but I do nurse him at lunch and I pack solids for him.  There have been a couple times that he has been especially hungry, but his daycare has always asked first if there's a substitute they can provide if necessary (they provide formula for babies and rice cereal as well as a handful of baby food).  I appreciated them asking before, especially because of food allergies, and I made sure that I packed more when I knew he was going through a growth spurt.  Although I highly doubt allergies are a a concern with water, the fact that your dcp is using food as a means to console your son rather than other methods and mistaking his cues for signs of hunger makes me wonder.  I would search for a new provider because it seems like the trust you had has been broken.  If that's not feasible, just make sure you bring it to her attention in a non-confrontational way.  I've had to do that recently with mine, as I was pretty sure one of the caretakers in my son's room just didn't want to take the time to even offer him his sippy cup (he never really liked bottles and likes to take his time enjoying the fruit of my labor!).  Good luck!