Would you side eye this?

Manateearmz

This man was interviewed on our local news. I already had him on my radar for saying that he saw 'God's hand' guide the falling tree away from his home. Then he says "my 3 year old ADOPTED daughter was asleep in the back". Why does he feel the need to specifically call out that she was adopted? I think it doesn't matter how you became a family, you don't call that out. 

KJmashup

I wouldn't use that descriptor unless it was relevant to the conversation, much in the same way that I HATE it when someone says something like, "That black guy is so smart." 

CoffeeBeen

fredalina:

I totally agree. Of course there are circumstances when bringing up the fact that his child was adopted might be relevant, that doesn't sound like one of them. It's sort of like race: If it's not pertinent to the story, leave it out!

+1

RondackHiker

Scout2005:

I see what you're saying. Yeah, it's a little side eye worthy.

Since many of my friends who have adopted get hurt and irritated when people say "this is Jane and her adopted daughter So and So", I would. It is his daughter. It isn't relevant.

penguingrrl

Big side eye. I can't imagine why it matters that your child is adopted or biological except in a very few specific instances. In this case it's completely irrelevant.

RockyTopVols

I wonder what the Hand of God looks like as it is guiding a tree?It sounds like a euphemism for masturbation tbh.

And he is referring to his daughter as adopted so he doesn't feel guilty that he jerked off while she was sleeping in the back room.

This must be investigated. We have a crack team of sleuths here (aka Twatley). Please, someone get his zip code. Stat.

Libby1978

Yep.  That's weird.

CoffeeBeen

RockyTopVols:

I wonder what the Hand of God looks like as it is guiding a tree? It sounds like a euphemism for masturbation tbh. And he is referring to his daughter as adopted so he doesn't feel guilty. This must be investigated. We have a crack team of sleuths here (aka Twatley). Please, someone get his zip code. Stat.

Lol, next time DH takes too long in the shower I'm going to lecture him about the hand of God guiding the tree.

ShellShockedMama

Gods hand should have smacked that idiot upside his head.

ShellShockedMama

cjcouple:

Nah, it's not like being adopted is bad.

no, it's not a bad thing but why even mention it? You'd never say, "my son that I vaginally birthed." Or "my daughter that came out via csection" it's a needless qualifier.   

RondackHiker

cjcouple:

ShellShockedMama:

cjcouple:

Nah, it's not like being adopted is bad.

no, it's not a bad thing but why even mention it? You'd never say, "my son that I vaginally birthed." Or "my daughter that came out via csection" it's a needless qualifier.   

What about when people say step sister or mother etc. it's just a description. No need to get bent over it. It Doesn't mean anything.

But stepsister or stepmother does change the relationship somewhat. If he said stepdaughter, then he would be acknowledging that she has a da out there who is also thanking his lucky stars she is okay. Step doesn't mean there is less love, but she isn't his daughter.

It isn't a major side eye, but when he adopted her, she became his daughter. No qualifier needed.

RondackHiker

fredalina:

Actually, most people I know who have stepkids who've lived with them for a long time or who've had visits for a long time don't say "stepdaughter" or "stepson" in normal conversation unless it's somewhat pertinent to the conversation.

Really? Hadn't realized that. Hope I didn't offend!

Manateearmz

ShellShockedMama:

cjcouple:

Nah, it's not like being adopted is bad.

no, it's not a bad thing but why even mention it? You'd never say, "my son that I vaginally birthed." Or "my daughter that came out via csection" it's a needless qualifier.   

that was my exact reaction Shell. The story was about a falling tree, the little girl wasn't even on camera. I wouldn't say "thank god the tree didn't fall on my biological daughter".  

Gracey_Manor Maid

RondackHiker:

cjcouple:

ShellShockedMama:

cjcouple:

Nah, it's not like being adopted is bad.

no, it's not a bad thing but why even mention it? You'd never say, "my son that I vaginally birthed." Or "my daughter that came out via csection" it's a needless qualifier.   

What about when people say step sister or mother etc. it's just a description. No need to get bent over it. It Doesn't mean anything.

But stepsister or stepmother does change the relationship somewhat. If he said stepdaughter, then he would be acknowledging that she has a da out there who is also thanking his lucky stars she is okay. Step doesn't mean there is less love, but she isn't his daughter. It isn't a major side eye, but when he adopted her, she became his daughter. No qualifier needed.

I think this depends. I have a stepmom and a stepdad. I call them mom and dad. They introduve me as their daughter. My biological parents are mom and dad as well...they introduce me as their daughter. I have four parents and I am their child. One of my stepmoms co-workers once asked her what my kid was going to call her when she was born since I wasn't really her daughter...she toold her penny would call her Oma..which means grandma...because I was her daughter and penny was her grand-daughter. Blood doesn't make a family...love does.

RondackHiker

Gracey_Manor Maid:

RondackHiker:

cjcouple:

ShellShockedMama:

cjcouple:

Nah, it's not like being adopted is bad.

no, it's not a bad thing but why even mention it? You'd never say, "my son that I vaginally birthed." Or "my daughter that came out via csection" it's a needless qualifier.   

What about when people say step sister or mother etc. it's just a description. No need to get bent over it. It Doesn't mean anything.

But stepsister or stepmother does change the relationship somewhat. If he said stepdaughter, then he would be acknowledging that she has a da out there who is also thanking his lucky stars she is okay. Step doesn't mean there is less love, but she isn't his daughter. It isn't a major side eye, but when he adopted her, she became his daughter. No qualifier needed.

I think this depends. I have a stepmom and a stepdad. I call them mom and dad. They introduve me as their daughter. My biological parents are mom and dad as well...they introduce me as their daughter. I have four parents and I am their child. One of my stepmoms co-workers once asked her what my kid was going to call her when she was born since I wasn't really her daughter...she toold her penny would call her Oma..which means grandma...because I was her daughter and penny was her grand-daughter. Blood doesn't make a family...love does.

I don't think I phrased it well. I was thinking that I wouldn't want someone else saying they were DS's mom. I am his mom. I think a stepmom could love and adore him, but would want the title "mom" reserved for me. I haven't been in that situation, so I don't mean to sound like I was passing judgment or downplaying the love. I don't see "step" as lesser or unloving. I was thinking more from the point of view that a biological parent might not want to share the title, KWIM? Again, I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend! I was wrong.

Gracey_Manor Maid

RondackHiker:

Gracey_Manor Maid:

RondackHiker:

cjcouple:

ShellShockedMama:

cjcouple:

Nah, it's not like being adopted is bad.

no, it's not a bad thing but why even mention it? You'd never say, "my son that I vaginally birthed." Or "my daughter that came out via csection" it's a needless qualifier.   

What about when people say step sister or mother etc. it's just a description. No need to get bent over it. It Doesn't mean anything.

But stepsister or stepmother does change the relationship somewhat. If he said stepdaughter, then he would be acknowledging that she has a da out there who is also thanking his lucky stars she is okay. Step doesn't mean there is less love, but she isn't his daughter. It isn't a major side eye, but when he adopted her, she became his daughter. No qualifier needed.

I think this depends. I have a stepmom and a stepdad. I call them mom and dad. They introduve me as their daughter. My biological parents are mom and dad as well...they introduce me as their daughter. I have four parents and I am their child. One of my stepmoms co-workers once asked her what my kid was going to call her when she was born since I wasn't really her daughter...she toold her penny would call her Oma..which means grandma...because I was her daughter and penny was her grand-daughter. Blood doesn't make a family...love does.

I don't think I phrased it well. I was thinking that I wouldn't want someone else saying they were DS's mom. I am his mom. I think a stepmom could love and adore him, but would want the title "mom" reserved for me. I haven't been in that situation, so I don't mean to sound like I was passing judgment or downplaying the love. I don't see "step" as lesser or unloving. I was thinking more from the point of view that a biological parent might not want to share the title, KWIM? Again, I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend! I was wrong.

No actually I get what you were saying. Each situation is diffrent. My parents split when I was very young. each remarried when I was young and they all four had a great co-parenting relationship. Our situation is diffrent than others. Not right or wrong..just diffrent. Even growing up in that though I would probably also have a hard time if something happend DH and I split up and she called someone else mom. No worries...wasn't offended just offering a diffrent perspective

J&A2008

Maybe the adoption is new and he's still getting used to it.  I know when I was a new stepmom I would say "stepson" mostly because I didn't want to take credit for something I shouldn't.  Now I do, mainly because it's comfortable and I don't want my sons to feel like I'm not claiming them.  But my initial use of stepson was not because I didn't want to claim them, just that it felt a bit like cheating, like calling a store bought cake my own handiwork.

JerkStore213

Fromthis day forward, I will refer to my son as, "my baby who didn't come out of my vagina because I had an emergency C section."

[Deleted User]

ashleysyn2:

Yah, that is definitely weird to me.  Maybe she was just recently adopted and he's really excited about it?  I don't know.

I kind of wondered that as well.  Maybe he's really proud that he adopted her?  IDK. 

I'm team leave it out though. 

ShellShockedMama

My son is now: the son that got stuck in my pelvis for four hours and needed extraction to get out of my vagina. Because, you know, it's not a bad thing!!

and the stepchild vs adopted child is like comparing apples and jockstraps. Adopting = THAT IS YOUR CHILD. you may as well have given birth to them. You are their mom/dad. The court has said so. They are your child. That's it. End of story.  

J&A2008

ShellShockedMama:

and the stepchild vs adopted child is like comparing apples and jockstraps. Adopting = THAT IS YOUR CHILD. you may as well have given birth to them. You are their mom/dad. The court has said so. They are your child. That's it. End of story.  

True, but claiming beautiful children as your own flesh and blood can feel like cheating a bit, adopted or step.  I'm hoping he's just a new parent, and that eventually the "adopted" bit will go away.

LoveBeingAWife33008

I feel like he said it to make himself look like the good, child adopting man.