Do others know about your IF?

Augustmama1113

DH and I were talking about this last night. While I'm trying for a second, I'm not new to IF. I didn't really tell anyone the first time around and no one knows this time that we are going through treatments.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I don't feel compelled to tell friends or family, is that wrong? It's exhausting having to explain it to someone who has no clue what it's like.

 

MMS88

I do tell people about my IF. You never know who else you know are dealing with IF also. I get so sick of the "when are you having another baby" so I tell them how it is lol.

nawlinsgrl

We ended up telling all our close friends last time, but only because there were a bunch of major events, including a wedding, that were happening the week of ER and ET, and since we didn't know the exact dates until the last minute, there was no getting away with telling so many people who would be at most of the same events that I wouldn't know until the last minute if I could attend.

IVF #1 worked for us, so I was happy to have everyone's support.  Had it been a bust, I would have not wanted everyone to know, and that's why I haven't told anyone besides family that we're already trying again.  I had made the mistake of saying we'd try again ASAP due to my age, but have told them it will be January before we start, so I at least get this first cycle to myself in case it doesn't work out.

Last time, everyone knew we were trying before we knew about IF, and since it was our first, there was that natural curiosity.  Luckily there are two new pregnancies in the group (one, yet to be publicly announced, for a FTM), so hopefully nobody will be too interested in/focused on my procreational activities this time.

Lauren79

We haven't really told many.  Our parents know a little but just recently with my m/c's.  My mom is hard to talk to because she has her own health issues although we are very close.  DH's mom is well, I just won't say anything. 

My best friend knows some, but she is back home in NY, a single mom working the night shift as a L&D nurse.  A lot of my other friends do not have kids yet or their kids are older.  I do have one friend that has IF issues but it is hard for me to talk to her because she is in a much more difficult situation than I am in and I have a child already so I think it makes it hard for her.  There is no one I know that I can relate to IRL. 

notkateanymore

I don't feel compelled but people who have asked or mentioned us having another one have been told. My family knows because they're my family...couldn't imagine not telling them.

Mrs. Erin

I'm pretty open about it.  My family, close friends, and even a few co-workers know what I'm going through.  And when people start saying things about having another one I say something along the lines of "actually, I've been pregnant 4 times since DD and lost them all and my tubes."  That usually shuts them up for awhile. 

Hopeful3434

We haven't told anyone, I tried to tell my mother once and she told me to relax and that was the end of that. I don't want to have to explain it and I don't want anyone to ask me about it so it is better for me this way. My husband is amazing so I feel that is enough for me. But it is great to have this place to talk to other women that understand.

Lauren79

Hopeful3434:

We haven't told anyone, I tried to tell my mother once and she told me to relax and that was the end of that. I don't want to have to explain it and I don't want anyone to ask me about it so it is better for me this way. My husband is amazing so I feel that is enough for me. But it is great to have this place to talk to other women that understand.

I agree with you.  This place has been great for me.  

 

Augustmama1113

The first time around I felt very alone because I was open about TTC very early on, before I knew I had IF issues. It seemed like all of my friends got pregnant on the first try.

Now that I'm lucky to have DS, I try not to take it as personally. I do get frustrated at people when they say "I was afraid to tell you I was pregnant", due to my struggles, so I don't even bother saying anything any more.

I have never projected my IF onto anyone and have always been happy for friends and family who have had an easier journey than I have. It's not my job to educate them, but sometimes you wish people were more sensitive towards those with IF. They are just uneducated and I try to remember that before I get upset.

I guess I needed to get that out

I'm glad I have someplace to go to talk to people who can understand. This place has been great for me too!

SigmundsGirl

I had IF issues when TTC DS and we told our families and a few friends. After I was pregnant I was more open about it with my work friends. There are a few that have experienced IF or losses too.

This time around our families know as due a few friends (including my boss). I have no problem talking about it. But I don't talk about it often. I do whatever feels right.

buskey2011

Yep my family knows and only friends that I am truely close to. I know quite a few that went through IF issues and they to understand what I am going. Also gives them a heads up if I am to bitchy. Like I told DH my son was through IF and what a gift he is to us we have no problem telling people because there is other people out there struggling and don't know where to get help.