can anyone weigh in on this?
realisticdreams
member
P had her 3 year well visit last week. We discussed her tantrums (zomg) and her other behavioral issues like chewing everything and transitions, etc.
I thought it was funny bc when the nurse asked if we had any concerns I said tantrums, and she said ok, discipline.
I really don't link her tantrums to my discipline. They are so off the wall and not really the direct result of something I may say or do. I guess probably on some level I was like well great, now I get to be judged for this too and I feel like it's 100% out of my control!
But anyways, the pedi just said he's pretty old school psych wise (he is a newer grad though) he said that he really looks at it as it doesn't matter what caused P to be the way she is emotionally (be it medical or otherwise) all that matters is she's here and it needs fixed. He is bowing out and leaving this up to the psych/whoever we can get to help us, because he knows it's not really his place.
Do you agree? If her emotional issues/tantrums are truly from her stroke (front lobe) then...I don't know that what would work on a typical child will remotely work on her?
It's the first time i've ever not been confident in what he told us and now i'm kinda blah about it. We love love love him, so much. I'm well aware that parents of medically fragile children tend to discipline less, and he was in no way suggesting that..i hope that's not the path we are headed down though. I consider myself pretty strict with them.
Tonight she had almost an hour meltdown because she wanted a pen (really she wanted two pens) to put in her dr clothes (we've been wearing the halloween outfit about 80% of the last 10 days). She colored on the sofa with a blue marker yesterday so even if i had a pen to give her (she had a weird little frilly one she lost at my grandma's) I wouldn't have given it to her. I tried to ignore her, i tried to redirect her, I tried to put her in time out. Eventually I lost it and took all of her dr clothes and gear off (wrestled it off, is more like it) and put them in the closet and closed the door. She was holding on to me the entire time trying not to let me walk (it was quite comical lol)
I told her when she sat down and ate dinner with us we could talk about getting her stuff out. I swear it was like after an hour of me saying anything and everything that for some reason worked. She sobbed herself up to the table and ate. Then we got her clothes put them back on and no more mention of the pen and she's been like an entirely different child.
I'm starting to wonder if she has some wacky blood sugar issues going on bc her fits of rage consist with when she hasn't eaten (and she hasn't WANTED to eat a lot in the last few months)
Re: can anyone weigh in on this?
DS was kinda nuts right before age 3 as well. He is getting better. But we looked into the Triple P program through our children's hospital. They will work specifically with special needs families, too to address where your kid is developmentally, etc.
We ended up not pursuing it after the intake appt. Partly because his behavior improved and partly because the therapist was going to have to use a dx code called "disruptive behavior disorder" for DS, even though DH and I would be the ones going to the appts to learn. I could not stomach giving DS yet another dx just so I could get a discounted parenting program. She did offer to let us buy the textbooks and do it on our own, and if we have another behavior flare-up, I might do that.
I think it is a tough age and for DS, there is a lot of frustration with his limited mobility and ability to express himself. He started wanting to know the plan for therapies and his day, whereas he used to just go with the flow.
GL! I know it is so draining.
Hang in there!
Not knowing P, I can't really address her specific behavior, cause, etc. BUT can say this...
She is three. Threes are notorious for tantrums! It is the age. We are going through this as well (and so are my friends with "typical" three year olds). It isn't fun, but it is normal for the age. Of course our kiddos issues and conditions can contribute to their frustration level or difficulty in recovery. But in the end, for most kids, it is just a natural stage of development.
I feel for you! I wish I had some advice, but I really don't. I just wanted to say that we are about to enter 3, with my son, and I know consistency is the best thing, but sometimes is so hard to follow- esp when my husband and I aren't on the same page always. My son had been a pretty good kid, and now, will just turn on us over something seemingly small (to me). He usually listens, but now, I can't break in on his rampage. I have had to remove him from situations by actually carrying him out of them (and he weighs 40 lbs) and getting him in to time out to calm down (which, is not working, and I have heard may not be the best for all kids). I did hear before I had kids that 3 is the new 2, so I guess by 4 we should hopefully be coming out of this!
GL!
Just wanted to say thanks for everyones advice, our local disability resource center said they are mailing out some materials as well that may help since that is where birth to three told us to look for some more help. Still waiting on psychologist to let me know if she found anyone in the area she approves of to take over.