Kissing Children On The Lips?

RockyTopVols

Lets talk about the tradition of kissing your children on the lips. 

I have no problem with it and most people don't either. My wife and I are at a disagreement however.

Her and her sister kiss our nephew on the lips. The way my family operates, that is a HUGE no-no. No one but my wife or I should be kissing our kid on the lips. Cheek... forehead.. no problem. I feel that is a huge violation of family boundaries. 

If they are comfortable with it in their family and my BIL is cool with everyone in his family putting their mouths on his kids mouth, that is cool. My wife did agree with me that if it makes me uncomfortable, she would ask no one kiss our daughter on the lips when she is here. 

Just curious if I am in the minority here and am being a little irrational. How do you guys operate? You and your spouse only allowed to kiss on the lips? Or do you let aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc? 

RockyTopVols

The nephew is almost 5. 

 

And yes, face slobbering is happening. I am referring to people asking him to come give them a kiss and they pucker up expecting it on the lips. I just find it... odd.

ATMmom324

I would prefer people not kiss my kids on the lips but aren't going to make a big deal out if they do.  Usually DD will try and kiss you back which means she opens her mouth as wide as she can and tries to eat your nose/ drool all over your face.

andyyougoonie

DD loves giving kisses.  She kisses (damn bump) me, H, our dogs, my parents, H's parents, my sister, H's sister, some of her friends at school, my nephews, etc on the lips.  Everyone she loves, she kisses on the lips.  We can't really stop her right now.  I do not allow strangers to kiss her on the lips, but that hasn't been an issue as no one has tried and she's shy with strangers/doesn't love them.

If she wants to kiss you though, she will physically turn your face to where she wants to kiss (whether it's your cheek or your mouth). 

I'm not going to worry about her kissing other kids for another year or two.  She can stop kissing family on the lips when it makes her uncomfortable.That's what I did when I was a kid.  She has already transitioned to preferring cheeks for some people. 

RockyTopVols

C_mo:

I would rather people not kiss my kids on the lips. Their grandparents are an exception.

I would concede that. 

PeonyPumps

We kiss DS on the lips, but it is just us.  I could see my mom kissing him on the lips, and wouldn't be bothered by that.  But I don't think my dad or IL's would be comfortable with that.  My IL's barely hug anyone, so it would be a little creepy to me if they wanted to kiss DS on the lips.  

I'd say that a few close family members would be okay, so long as the child knows that socially it is only appropriate to kiss very close family on the lips. 

scoutkate

As long as the kid initiates it, I'm down. 

CinemaGoddess

C_mo:

I would rather people not kiss my kids on the lips. Their grandparents are an exception.

This right here.

I don't kiss the girls on the lips often.  I kiss them on the top of the head, the forehead, or the nose most frequently and that's where the girls give kisses back.  Even to their loveys and stuffed animals. 

AshasaurusRex

I still kiss my dad and one of my uncles on the lips, and would kissed my paternal grandmother on the lips. I don't find it a violation of family boundaries at all as long as the kids are comfortable with it, but I come from a very touchy-feely family.

LILBIT1221

I don't want other people doing it & I also think there is a time when it should stop, period. Ash & Luke still get mouth kisses from DH & I, but Brooke and Noah, do not.

RockyTopVols

CinemaGoddess:

 loveys 

I love this term btw. I saw you use it in a toy-sharing thread one time. It is a great term that I think I will be instilling in my household.  

LnR70707

I don't want anyone kissing my kid on the lips, including myself and DH.  DH's family is full of boundary overstepping in all areas though.

MissNikki007

twatley:

I prefer that no one besides myself and my husband kiss him on the lips. I am super skeeved out by mouth herpes. 

This.

Libby1978

Oliver kisses everyone in our family on the lips.  I'm sure it will stop when he is older, but for now it's NBD to me.  I also kiss my 4 year old niece on the lips.  My 14 year olds don't kiss everyone on the lips anymore.  My DD still kisses me on the lips, but older DS does not.

MrsPteranodon

I kiss the boys on the lips, DH doesn't. No one else kisses them on the lips. Buddy is super into giving a puckered up lip kiss though. Its darling and I would not be weirded out if say DH's aunt asked him for a kiss and he kissed her on the mouth.  

KathrynMD

I remember kissing all my grandparents and aunts/uncles on the lips when I was little.  Around 7 or 8ish, I started feeling weird about it and did the cheek kisses when I could. 

My DD normally only kisses us on the lips and even then, rarely.  I think once in a blue moon she kisses my mom on the mouth. 

I don't really care where she kisses anyone as long as she's not being forced to show affection to anyone.  If she's happy to kiss her uncle on the lips, so be it, I'm not going to intervene, but if she's being cajoled in anyway, I'm not cool with that.

MommaG123

andyyougoonie:

DD loves giving kisses.  She kisses (damn bump) me, H, our dogs, my parents, H's parents, my sister, H's sister, some of her friends at school, my nephews, etc on the lips.  Everyone she loves, she kisses on the lips.  We can't really stop her right now.  I do not allow strangers to kiss her on the lips, but that hasn't been an issue as no one has tried and she's shy with strangers/doesn't love them.

If she wants to kiss you though, she will physically turn your face to where she wants to kiss (whether it's your cheek or your mouth). 

I'm not going to worry about her kissing other kids for another year or two.  She can stop kissing family on the lips when it makes her uncomfortable.That's what I did when I was a kid.  She has already transitioned to preferring cheeks for some people. 

This is DD exactly.  She is a kissing hor.  If you try and offer up a cheek she will grab you and turn your face towards her.  When she sees a new animal she grabs the muzzle/neck and makes them kiss her on the snout.  She kisses kids at the park/daycare/wherever on the lips or at least she tries to.

I figure when she doesn't want to anymore she won't.  It doesn't really bother me. 

kmm2150

We are bear-huggers, not kissers -  I have never kissed anyone on the mouth other than boyfriends/DH that I recall. I had a boyfriend's mom try to kiss me on the mouth (kissed boyfriend on the mouth as we were leaving, then turned to kiss me, too) - FREAKED me out.

I don't think I'd chew someone out for doing it, but it grosses me out, just isn't something we do, and I'd worry about germs and stuff, too.  I don't think I've ever seen any of DH's family kiss on the mouth either.

Kitiara5512

Yay Muslim families, you can ** someone in private but they side eye you for even holding hands in front of family and friends, and would have total conniptions if someone smooched on the mouth. So, for now, kisses land where they land, but as he gets older, they will gravitate towards cheeks instead.

blush64

Babies and really young kids are going to generally kiss you where ever. I  have no problem with that.

As kids get older I think it's better to kiss on the cheek or forehead, even for parents. I don't kiss my kids on their lips and I haven't since they were really young.

 

MandaPanda518

We're not a lip kissing family. We reserve that for significant others only. DS has just learned how to give kisses on the lips, and I hope that stays between us for a while. But that might change when he gets older, and I'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

NastyAnnie

My kid will not kiss on not-the-mouth. If you try to avoid his lips, he will grab your face and turn it so that he can kiss your mouth. He gets kisses on the cheeks / forehead / nose / chubby neck skin / belly / elsewhere, but he only gives kisses on the mouth. So, um, I can't really have anything against it. 

IrishEyes0530

C_mo:

I would rather people not kiss my kids on the lips. Their grandparents are an exception.

This.

LadyDelilah

Its like a peck. My grandfather, and myself maybe my mom do it. But thats it.

LadyXaverian

NastyAnnie:

My kid will not kiss on not-the-mouth. If you try to avoid his lips, he will grab your face and turn it so that he can kiss your mouth. He gets kisses on the cheeks / forehead / nose / chubby neck skin / belly / elsewhere, but he only gives kisses on the mouth. So, um, I can't really have anything against it. 

This is Nora, too, but she only kisses DH and me. I am trying to teach her to kiss on cheeks, but she wants to pucker up for now.

In general, our families are more huggy than kissy, so I hadn't even considered others trying to kiss her on the lips. I guess I would prefer that others not kiss her lips-- I will be watching to see how this goes down.

megzway

Kissing on the lips is not for aunts and uncles to do. Only DH & I kiss DD on the lips. 

Smootchy

There is a saying in Arabic my dad always says meaning, "a child's lips are for their mother"
We're in the kids just about anywhere but the lips. When my family comes from overseas, if the child is an infant [still being held] they kiss their feet.
ETA: parents and grandparents don't bother me but anyone else I'd rather not. I kiss my mom on the lips, and obvs DH/kids, everyone else gets the fake cheek kiss. Other people's children I kiss on forehead or cheek.

LoveBeingAWife33008

andyyougoonie:

DD loves giving kisses.  She kisses (damn bump) me, H, our dogs, my parents, H's parents, my sister, H's sister, some of her friends at school, my nephews, etc on the lips.  Everyone she loves, she kisses on the lips.  We can't really stop her right now.  I do not allow strangers to kiss her on the lips, but that hasn't been an issue as no one has tried and she's shy with strangers/doesn't love them.

If she wants to kiss you though, she will physically turn your face to where she wants to kiss (whether it's your cheek or your mouth). 

I'm not going to worry about her kissing other kids for another year or two.  She can stop kissing family on the lips when it makes her uncomfortable.That's what I did when I was a kid.  She has already transitioned to preferring cheeks for some people. 

all this exactly.

Snapdragon750

Wow.  I didn't realize how much in the minority I was when I told DH I was completely skeeved out by parents kissing their kids on the lips and insisted we not do this in our family.  I kiss and hug DD all day long...but the mouth?  It's just weird to me!

It's normal in his family, though I don't know about aunts and uncles.  Obviously I wouldn't be cool with that. 

J&A2008

I kiss my own children on the lips, but rarely.  I would never kiss my neices or nephews on the lips, nor would I be okay with aunts/uncles doing this.  My mom is an exception, only because she's around all the time, whereas aunts/uncles are out of state and exposed to a whole different set of germs. 

Mamapoo

I wish I could contribute, but my brother is across the country, and DH's siblings are 9 and 13.

I would feel SUPER awkward if they kissed him on the lips. Not sure about older aunts/uncles etc though...

SandiaPinaMama

No one at all, including myself and DH, kisses DS on the lips.

RondackHiker

I used to think it was weird, but DS wants and asks for lip kisses, but only from DH and I. It is just a peck, it isn't like we make out with him. I can see why you'd restrict it if your kid had health issues, but now that I am a mom, I don't see why anyone would side eye a parent kissing a toddler on the lips. It isn't like it's sexual.

It did skeeve DH out when DS went to give him a kiss on his lips and instead blew a raspberry. It was hilarious.