Facebook posts...

caitie2002

Does anyone else feel sorry for babies you see on Facebook taking bottles of formula? I know I shouldn't judge but a lot of these are pics while baby is still in hospital.. and it's those little 2 oz rtf formula bottles so I know it's not bm. Before I started bfing I probably wouldn't have given those pics a second thought! Not trying to start a formula debate. I've had to use it myself. I just wish more moms would give bfing a try.

linzeek44

caitie2002:

Does anyone else feel sorry for babies you see on Facebook taking bottles of formula?

Nope.  I feel sorry for babies on the news who are being neglected or abused. Gives perspective. Being fed formula means they are being fed = good. 

caitie2002

linzeek44:

caitie2002:

Does anyone else feel sorry for babies you see on Facebook taking bottles of formula?

Nope.  I feel sorry for babies on the news who are being neglected or abused. Gives perspective. Being fed formula means they are being fed = good. 

Good point. I guess I just have stronger feelings about it right now because I'm starting to wean DS. And I am going to miss nursing him so much!

[Deleted User]

No, I don't feel sorry for babies who are FF. Besides, how do you know those moms didn't give BFing a try? And even if they didn't, who cares?! Way to sound like a sanctomommy.

tina924

Absolutely not! I wasn't allowed to nurse my son because he was in the NICU and I was pumping but my milk really didn't come in until a week. So he got formula. Yeah I felt horrible because all I wanted to do was hold him and nurse him, but I was happy that he was getting the care he needed. He was on'y there the 4 days I was in the hospital. When we got home he got nothing but BM. Don't be so judgemental

kel716

Nope, not at all.  We've had our share of feeding issues, and those 2 oz bottles of premade formula are lifesavers in the infant stage. 

I tried to BF my son, and he lost 18% of his body weight his first week of life.  Everything seemed fine, and he wasn't jaundiced.  I had no idea.  We went to the NICU, got rehydrated, and used those bottles quite a bit.   I wound up EPing my son and gave him mainly breastmilk for a year. 

DD is EBF'd, but to help us get through until my milk was fully in, we did use those bottles.  We wanted to ensure that we did not have ANY of those same issues again.  We didn't.  My boob is her lovey and she can find one in an instant now. 

hesakeeper

tina924:

Absolutely not! I wasn't allowed to nurse my son because he was in the NICU and I was pumping but my milk really didn't come in until a week. So he got formula. Yeah I felt horrible because all I wanted to do was hold him and nurse him, but I was happy that he was getting the care he needed. He was on'y there the 4 days I was in the hospital. When we got home he got nothing but BM. Don't be so judgemental

caitie2002

Sorry everyone! I thought that someone on this board, of all places, could relate. I would never ever say something to any of my friends who choose to ff to make them feel bad. What I posted is my initial reaction only. I do feel bad about thinking that way, because I do know there are reasons people can't or don't bf. I was just hoping I wasn't the only one who had these thoughts.

blush64

I think it's strange to feel sorry for a baby for being formula fed. I've never used formula, I breastfed each of my sons for 2 years but it's not for everyone. A baby that's well cared for and well loved is a happy baby, no matter if they are formula fed or breastfed. I do think breast milk is best for babies but some women can't or choose not to and that's fine.

kalette

Unless it's a ready to feed bottle, (like the Simlac ones they give out at hospitals with the name plastered on the side) you have no way of knowing if it's an expressed bottle of BM or not.  Lots of people probably think my daughter is FF, because I express BM into bottles for her.

abbieaggie

kel716:

Nope, not at all.  We've had our share of feeding issues, and those 2 oz bottles of premade formula are lifesavers in the infant stage. 

I tried to BF my son, and he lost 18% of his body weight his first week of life.  Everything seemed fine, and he wasn't jaundiced.  I had no idea.  We went to the NICU, got rehydrated, and used those bottles quite a bit.   I wound up EPing my son and gave him mainly breastmilk for a year. 

DD is EBF'd, but to help us get through until my milk was fully in, we did use those bottles.  We wanted to ensure that we did not have ANY of those same issues again.  We didn't.  My boob is her lovey and she can find one in an instant now. 

This.

punkrockabye

theresat858:

Yes.

It makes me sad...but not for the baby. It makes me sad for the mom, because I'm hoping that it is what she wanted. If it is, I am okay with that.

This. I feel bad in the sense that I wonder if it's what the mom wanted. I have a new great nephew and I did feel very sad when I saw a picture of him getting formula in the hospital with the caption "lunch time" because my niece [who is a year older than me, don't worry!] had previously told me she wanted to BF. I'm not extremely close to her though so I don't know what happened if anything. It made me sad because she seemed to have decided on BFing prior to this.

sapphire1751

No.  Simply because I was one of those mamas.  I was unable to EBF (I pumped what I could).  We discovered at the hospital we would have to supplement, and continued to do so.  I did, as are the moms and dads bottle feeding in the photos you see, doing what we had to and what was best for our family by formula feeding.  The babies you see may be FF and BF, they may be exclusively FF, or the mom may EP.  In all cases the little ones are receiving the nutrients they need.  And while I posted pictures of my LO bottle feeding (both formula and breastmilk I pumped), the pictures I didn't post were photos of my bottle feeding her my breastmilk skin to skin.  There's a backstory to each and every family you see that you're probably not aware of.  While I can respect your instinct reaction (and you were very honest regarding that!) don't feel sorry for us or our babies - we're all ok in the long run, and that's what is important.

jlsimon56

I sometimes do, for similar reasons that PPs mentioned.  But if it's just some random baby (let's face it, not all my FB friends are FRIENDS, haha!) then it doesn't really matter to me.

I did find it funny that a lot of PPs who said that FF babies on their FB are fine....yet feel the need to clarify that THEIR baby got BM.  REALLY.  No one cares.  :-)

 

I can think of one FB friend in particular with 3 kids, single SAHM, barely making ends meet.  I don't want to know how much $$ she is spending on formula.

michelle142

Absolutely not. BFing is a personal choice, it's not for everyone. If a mother chooses to give their baby formula, it's really not any of my concern.

BeachBabe22

My baby girl received only formula for her first week.  I didn't have any colostrum until a week after I gave birth so when I was trying to feed her in the hospital she literally got nothing from me.  Yes, I was a little upset when I had to five her formula but I'd rather her eat that than starve for an entire week.  The second week I was able to pump a half ounce and add it to her formula.  She has been getting only breastmilk since she was 3.5 weeks old.  I don't think it would be fair for you to judge me or anyone else because our babies had formula in the hospital. 

 

Like the other ladies said, feel bad for the babies being abused not the ones getting formula.  

KatFCo

This is why I feel uncomfortable feeding my baby a bottle in public--because I know there are people who see that can of formula (or even the bottle of milk and assume it's formula) and "feel sorry" for me and my baby.

Mothers who formula feed aren't always uninformed or unwilling to try. Please don't feel sorry for us. And don't feel  sorry for our babies--mine likes formula so much sometimes he'll refuse the pumped milk and only take a bottle.

AimeeL85

I wouldn't even bother making the assumption that they won't be breastfed babies.

If you were to look at my pictures from when DS was born, you'd see a picture of me feeding him one of those exact bottles of formula.

But you wouldn't know that he never had a drop of formula after we left the hospital and nursed until he was 19 months old.

bpv101283

I wouldn't be concerned for them. I am sure their parents love them very much.

jillychris

You never know the full story...I would give anything to be ebf, but we are dealing with a supply issue and a tongue tie issue. It's formula or have a starving child. Don't judge others when you don't have all the facts.

mexicolombiana

No not "sad" exactly, but yes I will admit I do wonder why the baby is not getting BM.  It could be for AWESOME reasons but I still wonder. 

pumpkinwife07

How stupid. Is this seriously a post? You know who I feel bad for: your children.

moriaspencer

No, not at all. DD had to have formula in the hospital as she wasn't really nursing. Maybe once a day we would get a good nursing session out of her. I was actually really glad the first time she drank formula. She had jaundice and was loosing a lot of weight. We tried a few times to give her formula, but she refused at first. It was a relief that was was finally eating something! I didn't want to give her formula, but it was better than losing more weight and bili levels getting higher. It was for sure worth it and was only a temporary thing. She nusres like a champ now and I know she won't want to wean for a long time.

mexicolombiana

I just wonder because I have a brain and I wonder things.  Just like you wonder why I wonder. I wonder why you wonder why I wonder.

pumpkinhead4

It's sad but true that there are places in America where women are made to feel less of a mother if they choose to FF. They are judged for their decision and probably thought to be uneducated or a mother that doesn't want to bond closely with their child. Sometimes this is true but many times it is not. This pressure we put on new moms is only perpetuated by this conversation why do we care what someone else does? Its hard enough being a new mom this shouldn't be such a concern for others.

bpv101283

Pumpkinhead, why are you on the breastfeeding board? It isn't so much about lifestyle choice here, more as this is the choice that was made by the people here and there are discussions around that choice. The month boards talk less about breastfeeding and might not offend you as much.

pumpkinhead4

bpv101283:

Pumpkinhead, why are you on the breastfeeding board? It isn't so much about lifestyle choice here, more as this is the choice that was made by the people here and there are discussions around that choice. The month boards talk less about breastfeeding and might not offend you as much.

Are you asking this as a rhetorical question or a real one? If you read any of the last posts in the last 2 months you would realize I am currently BFing my LO. I am here to learn and give advice. I am also trying to offer a non-judgemental view of the world. I am not offended by anything on this board it's been a normal conversation in my life for the last 4 years.

mexicolombiana

AmyG*:

I do feel sad for them.

I feel sad that so many moms don't even try to breastfeed, whether that is due to not enough information, support or a feeling that breastfeeding is not normaI enough or it's too hard--

it's sad that they are not willing to even try to give their baby colostrum. You can say that formula is oh so ok for baby--but it doesn't contain the digestive enzymes within colostrum that populates the baby's digestive tract so they can digest food properly.  yeah, without colostrum, eventually baby's system still gets populated with digestive ezymes, but that's not how it's supposed to work.

I feel sad that something came up to interfere with that baby getting breastmilk so soon in baby's life that they are still in the hospital--you wonder if mom sick, did mom have a bad experiece prior in her life--or is the hospital not supportive.

I'm sad because getting a bottle when baby is only a day or two old and there is a breastfeeding problem makes the chance of long term breastfeeding success lower for that baby/mom pair.  Sure some overcome it, but many give up--well he had formula in the hospital cause we had a little breastfeeding problem and now it's just too late to even try.

I feel sad that the human norm has been changed to formula being such a default that most moms see it as a lifestyle choice like choosing cloth or disposable, or maybe it's coke or pepsi.

 

I've said it before, if breastfeeding can help to lower the incidence of things like breast cancer for mom, AND for the baby girl that she is breastfeeding as well--what would the cumulative effect be on SOCIETY as a whole if all the generations [in your family or in all families] were breastfed?  Cancer is so costly to individuals, families, society, culture and government.  what if such a small thing could spiral into such a big thing.  Breastmilk kills cancer cells in a petri dish.  That's amazing.  I'm sad about how many people just don't get it.  Breastfeeding is more than just a simple choice.  Long lasting effects on lowered cancer rates, diabetes, and more makes it worth trying to breastfeed at least just a little bit, IMHO. yeah even if that pisses people off to hear it. 

 

Agree wholeheartedly.