Boob as pacifier (long)

Kadyra

Let me start by saying i understand sucking is normal and that all pacifiers are modeled after the breast. And that comfort nursing is normal. And that nursing frequency increases during a growth spurt.

 Ds2 is 8 weeks actual and 4 days old adjusted. Born at 32 weeks. He's been an excellent nurser since two weeks of age when I was first allowed to nurse. He was tongue tied, but his frenulum was clipped and we've been awesome since. 

Hes growing like a weed. Over 3lb since birth. He is nursed from about 8am-10pm. He gets three bottles of fortified BM per the neo and pedi from 11pm-5am. I pump 3 times a day to make up for the bottles he gets at night. 

 During the day for about the past 3-4 days, I get maybe two breaks from nursing.  The rest of the time he is actively nursing. I know he's eating because I get that sensation of milk coming out (I feel it when I pump too). He rarely does that fluttery sucking. He will fall asleep in spite of Newman compressions and other stimulations. If I move when he's asleep, he's rooting and nursing again. I can't put him down to eat or pee. He takes a paci but only when it seems convenient for him. Dh can hold him usually without the rooting, but often he just roots and dh hands him back. So I don't get much of a break. 

 I love nursing my son.  But I'd like to enjoy him too. Just look at his sweet face without him searching for the boob. My nipples are getting raw from the nursing. There is nothing wrong with his latch. I've started looking forward to that 11pm bottle so I can have a break. I gave him a bottle today so I could eat lunch-- I even napped with him nursing. I pumped after I ate and changed his diaper and clothes. I picked him up and held him for 30 seconds before he started rooting. I had to put him down. He's now asleep. 

I will stop Breastfeeding if this continues. It is making me not enjoy it or him and is hurting our relationship. When he's awake I feel guilty for just sitting him in his crib and leaving him. But I just can't nurse like that. I'm good at going to the bathroom and eating while nursing, but that's no way to enjoy a baby. 

Oh, and did I mention that I go back to work tomorrow? I am cringing thinking of the constant nursing from 6pm when I get home until 5am when I get up for work. No sleep and a 27 mile commute make me very nervous. I don't think getting him on a schedule is the answer but id like to be able to eat and sleep a little. Or just hold my son.

 I am very sad to write this post. I looked online and all the posts talked about how this was normal and to deal with it. I don't want to merely deal with my son. I love him. He is precious. He's a preemie and I want to nurse him for as long as possible, but I don't see nursing very far in the future if this continues. Advice? I'm crying now. Dh is looking at me weirdly.

GoldenPeaches

The best advice I can give you is this--it gets so much better. Most women find that after 6-8 weeks it gets a lot better. Since your LO is a  new newborn adjusted, what he is doing is very developmentally normal, despite how exhausting it can be. 

Another piece of good advice I got was to never quit on a bad day.

Good luck mama! You can do it!!

mystrana

I do know it's frustrating to be told "just deal with it!" But breastfeeding can become so much better after those first 6-8 weeks. I went back to work at 8 weeks and was so scared for my evenings, but DS has started to adapt and it makes a world of difference. I'm not sure if it will take more weeks because of your baby's early entry into the world, but in the grand scheme of things, no matter what, you should be starting to get breaks soon.

Still, it's also important to remember - feeding your baby is a great thing, no matter how you do it. Don't let your guilt over breastfeeding or not consume you to the point where you hate breastfeeding. Keep giving it your all (and PP's advice is great - don't quit on a bad day) and if on a good day (one will show up, I promise) you still want to switch, don't feel guilty. 

Kadyra

Thanks. It's just upsetting and I hate feeling this way. I'm so pleased he's almost doubled his birth weight with very little supplementation (1/2tsp enfacare to 3oz BM) that I can't fathom feeding him any other way. I had to wean abruptly with ds1 a lot earlier than I wanted. He thrived on formula, but I missed that closeness and seeing his little chin move as he swallowed the good stuff. I don't want to miss out on that beautiful experience. Breastfeeding was a struggle for various reasons before the tongue was clipped. I feel like it's been an uphill battle the whole time. It was so easy with ds1. I know you can't compare but it's hard not to. It's hard to enjoy ds1 with such a demanding ds2 too. He's an excellent big brother and I'd like to prolong the time before jealousy hits. Sigh. I know it's a matter of being patient. It doesn't help that I'm returning to a job I hate. I'd take more time off but 16 weeks of bedrest took a toll on my time off as well as our bank account. It's just piling on. 

Why oh why didn't we win powerball yesterday?!?

 Thanks again for your words of encouragement.  

pitterpatter129

I'm just lurking, as I recently weaned my first and am about to start all over again with a second, but I do remember 8 weeks being one of the most difficult times. I would sit in the chair and cry while nursing him. Thankfully, my DH was very supportive and all the ladies on here were great, otherwise I probably would have thrown in the towel. I agree with pp, don't give up on the worst day and it does get better. Soon they quit nursing 24/7 and start staying awake more often too. They develop better sleep schedules and start to get on an eating schedule. With you going back to work, even if you tell them not to, the caregiver you leave him with will more than likely start a feeding schedule also. It's really hard for babysitters and daddies not to just feed baby every 2 or 3 hours, instead of on demand.  That will probably help you out a lot on the weekends since he'll be used to it!  Pumping at work will help your raw boobies too.  There were so many time with DS that I just wanted to quit and would cry and cry.  I'm sooo glad I didn't quit, as it did get easier, and I was so happy to have breastfed for as long as  I did.  I only weaned him at 19 months because I was pregnant again and didn't want to end up tandem nursing.  Hang it there!

 

TJ1979

Hugs hon. Try giving it a week back at work, and see how you feel. I was worried about that too, but LO adapted better than I expected, and now I can't wait to get home and nurse her, and do it several times in the few hours after I get home before she goes to bed. My LO also started sleeping longer stretches at night after starting DC. GL with whatever you decide. Huge hugs.