Adoption

Adopting and still TTC?

My husband and I are beginning to explore adoption.  We have gone through multiple miscarriages and have decided that adoption may be the right choice for us.  We've also decided that we aren't going to prevent pregnancy, but we aren't expecting to have a successful pregnancy either.

Will agencies turn us away if we become pregnant?  It may make sense that they may want to place a child into a home that is stable and not going through the changes of a new birth/child.  But then again, I was pregnant with multiples before and raising two little ones at the same time didn't scare me...too much Big Smile

Just wondering if you all had any information on this?

TTC our first, both age 29 BFP#1 Twins, Missed MC with complications (long story) BFP#2 CP DX: DH-no issues Me-PAI-1 1/2013 Hysteroscopy/Laparoscopy to remove polyp and adhesions March 2013 IUI #1 with Follitism + Trigger

Re: Adopting and still TTC?

  • I'd be surprised if there were many agencies that let you TTC and adopt at the same time. DH and I are adopting internationally and it seems like every agency we've considered will put your process on hold until after your bio baby is born.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    Application approved Dec '11
    Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
    After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
    Homestudy complete July 19
    USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
    Come home, baby A!
  • imagesrmmm09:
    I'd be surprised if there were many agencies that let you TTC and adopt at the same time. DH and I are adopting internationally and it seems like every agency we've considered will put your process on hold until after your bio baby is born.

    Ditto PP.  You're simply going to have to be upfront and ask.  We informed our agency at our 1st meeting that we were still TTC and in fact would be undergoing IF treatments in the future.  They were fine with it.  However, cases like this are the exception and not the rule. 

     

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  • Some agencies are fine with you pursuing both fertility treatments and adopting. Some are not. That can be a big question you can ask. Some agencies request that you be dropped from the pool of waiting families if you become pregnant, until your child is at least a year old, to avoid adopting out of birth order or artificial twinning. Some don't. Again, this can be a big question you can ask.

    Our agency wanted us to close the door on fertility treatments, and we would have had to drop out of the waiting pool if I became pregnant (ha! like that was going to happen). But I know of at least one person who used to be on here who was in the process when she found out she was pg. She still adopted, and I think her girls are a few months apart.

  • MH and I were looking for an agency that wouldn't care if we continued TTC too. There are agencies that will still allow you to move forward.. But they are few and far between. It can be done... But it will take you longer to find the agency that will. We had an agency planned that would... But decided not to pursue DIA for other reasons. So, I can't say whether or not either of the agencies we found would have been good or not.
    Me: 32, DH: 45... TTC #1 since May 2010
    July - Nov 2011: Testing with OB... OB said everything looks good
    March - Sept 2012: Moved to RE.. 4 treatment cycles - responses of one or no follicles
    09.03.12: Diagnosed Poor Ovarian Response.. DE IVF only option
    Feb - Nov 2012: Pursued Adoption. That door slammed shut.
    12.23.12: Surprise BFP (first ever)... 12.25 - 12.31: Natural M/C
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  • Our agency was fine with this but told us if we got pregnant we would need to postpone adopting.  They don't want two children under 1 in the house at the same time.
    image

    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


  • When we adopted M, we didn't continue pursuing IF treatments, but we also didn't prevent. My agency didn't care.  They were a law firm.  Of course we never got pregnant while we were waiting. 

    The only reason I'm pregnant now if because we went back for the 3 frozen embryos we had from 3 years ago, before we started the adoption process. We were pretty shocked it worked.  We figured we'd use them up and then move on to adoption #2.

    One thing though, i was terrified that I would actually get pg while waiting and having it derail our adoption.  I really just couldn't focus on both at the same time.  I got a picture in my head of adopting our first and it would not be dislodged.  I would have been truly disappointed if we had accidently gotten pg and the adoption didn't happen.

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

    image


    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

    image   
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