New, Overwhelmed: NJ Adoption

KatieRose09

We have just begun exploring adoption.  I am so overwhelmed.  I know that we want to adopt and infant and we are open to any ethnicity and some special needs.  We are ok adopting within the US or outside of the US.  Basically, we just want to be parents ane I wan to have those early weeks/months with our child.

 I am not interested in foster care situations because I know that I am not strong enough for that emotional roller coaster.  I've been exposed to it many times through work and I admire people with the strength to do so and their open hearts to care for children in need.

Anyone live in NJ and have suggestions of agencies?  Facilitators? 

Anyone successfully adopt in NJ and know the cost?  Timeline?

Dr.Loretta

If you want to adopt an infant, domestic is probably the way to go. Most international adoptions I've seen are toddlers at the youngest, up to elementary school aged.

Be aware that adoption, no matter how you slice it, is going to have some emotional ups and downs.

We used an agency that has offices in NJ. PM me if you're interested in more information.

Cost and timelines are going to vary depending on who you go with and how you pursue it. You could use an agency, or an attorney, or a facilitator if it's legal in NJ. And you don't have to use an agency in your state. There are regional and national agencies, and some people choose to  use an agency outside of their state.

Some agencies charge fees on a sliding scale based on income, some don't. Some have a lower fee schedule for AA/CA children. Timelines are all over the map, and our agency wouldn't even give us one because there is no "typical". A better indicator is the # of waiting families vs the # of placements per year.

If you haven't already, I'd suggest looking at the FAQs at the top of this board. It provides some good overview and will likely point you to resources to narrow down the field.

jillianmb

We are adopting internationally but our agency also does domestic adoptions and we LOVE them.  I don't know if you want a recommendation from me b/c we're not using them for a DIA but I can PM you the name if you want! Let me know!

KatieRose09

jillianmb:

We are adopting internationally but our agency also does domestic adoptions and we LOVE them.  I don't know if you want a recommendation from me b/c we're not using them for a DIA but I can PM you the name if you want! Let me know!

Yes, please PM me the information.  I will try to PM you, but I'm new to this site 

I just read your blog.  You write beautifully!  I cried and cried and cried...  happy, joyful tears.  Your son is one of the most beautiful children I have ever seen.  Promise not to tell my god children, nieces, etc!!!    He is so adorable and I am so happy that you and your DH will have those beautiful eyes to look into for the rest of your lives.  Congratulations!

After reading your experience, I think I am going to talk to my husband about considering older children.  What a wonderful gift you are giving him and he is giving back to you. 

P.S.  I love that you had an adoption shower.  So thoughtful of your family and friends.

DaisyZH

Welcome to the board!!  Adoption is pretty overwhelming at first, there is so much to look into.  Like PPs said, domestic is the way to go for an infant but from your last post if you're into an older child as you see international is an awesome way to go too : ) 

miss1180

hi! we live in NJ. We did an international adoption from Korea... So I can't really help with domestic agencies. But just wanted to welcome another Jersey Girl to this group :-)

  We adopted our son in August from Korea- he was 21 months old. As we waited and he got older, I got nervous about going right into parenting with a toddler instead of an infant. But I can tell you= he has been the greatest gift to us!!! Its such a cute, fun age- he is starting to talk up a storm, and running around the house doing such cute stuff :-) I've realized that adding a child at any age is a blessing!

  We really liked our agency, and the Korea adoption program- so feel free to email me at lil_mis1 at yahoo.com if you have any questions or just want to talk!

heres our little man in his pirate outfit on halloween :-)

may2806

Hi, we are from NJ too. We're currently doing our last FET but have already met with about 5 NJ adoption agencies for DIA, which we will be selecting from should the FET not work (I'm a planner so I needed to know our next step). Facilitators are illegal in NJ; as I understand it you can work with an attorney but s/he cannot charge you specifically for locating a BM for you.

If/when we move forward I'd love to connect with other NJ PAPs!