Attachment Parenting

Anyone have experience weaning a toddler?

DD is just over 2 and still wants to nurse. We are mostly done with daytime nursing (just for naps) and she and I co-sleep so she still nurses at night. I have been working loosely using the Dr. Jay Gordon strategy.

To break nightime nursing, I have been singing songs and reading books and nursing for a finite period of time and if she doesn't go to sleep, I take her off the boob and she cries, sometimes hysterically for a minute or two and squirms around but in 5-10 minutes if I lay there and pretend to sleep she will go to sleep.

When she wakes in the middle of the night (if she does) I try to pretend to sleep and not nurse her but sometimes I give in (I know that defeats the purpose).

She hates it if I try to sing or talk to her when all she wants to do is nurse. I have not found a phrase to tell her that works.  Thoughts?

PS all her teeth are finally in, so hopefully that will help with sleep. 



 6/09 right tube loss (fallopian torsion) 12/09 BFP #1 (DD born 9/10)
8/12 dx Lupus (ANA+/APA-), 12/12 BFP #2  natural m/c 6w 2d 
TTC#2  since 9/12  50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #1 Beta 10/4=BFN
                             50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #2 Beta 11/1= BFN
                                  100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #3 Beta 12/26=BFFN
100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #4 Beta 2/14= BFFN
Took a LONG Break
Lots of Luck and Love BFPB for life KOFMKG

Re: Anyone have experience weaning a toddler?

  • I've stuck to a brief "It's night-night time" and then just not nursing. He's in a crib on his own, though. He's definitely not receptive to an explanation when he wants boob. We've been at night-weaning for almost a week, and things are improving but he is tenacious so he's not sttn yet.
  • I've been night weaning DS2 forever (No, really. Pretty sure I started sometime last winter!). What works for us is having "good night mama meal" somewhere other than his bed - there's a couch in his room, and so we nurse a bit and then read a few books. I think the physical break between nursing and going to sleep has helped him not get as mad about not nursing.

    During the night, he just has to nurse. But! I've gotten to the point where I tell him "one minute" and then pop him off after a minute. He's not happy about it, but he would get frantic and fully wake up if I straight-up said no. He's also getting better about not nursing earlier in the night. 

    DS1 was MUCH easier to night wean - he still slept with us at the time, and I just told him "no more mama meal" when he woke. He would get sad, but would eventually let me give him hugs and cuddles. It took him a week or two, but he weaned fully after that. He also moved into his own bed about a month after I weaned him, and started fully sleeping through the night.

    Sorry for the novel!

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • imagenosoup4u:
    I've been night weaning DS2 forever (No, really. Pretty sure I started sometime last winter!). What works for us is having "good night mama meal" somewhere other than his bed - there's a couch in his room, and so we nurse a bit and then read a few books. I think the physical break between nursing and going to sleep has helped him not get as mad about not nursing.

    During the night, he just has to nurse. But! I've gotten to the point where I tell him "one minute" and then pop him off after a minute. He's not happy about it, but he would get frantic and fully wake up if I straight-up said no. He's also getting better about not nursing earlier in the night. 

    DS1 was MUCH easier to night wean - he still slept with us at the time, and I just told him "no more mama meal" when he woke. He would get sad, but would eventually let me give him hugs and cuddles. It took him a week or two, but he weaned fully after that. He also moved into his own bed about a month after I weaned him, and started fully sleeping through the night.

    Sorry for the novel!

    I love this advice thank you!!  



     6/09 right tube loss (fallopian torsion) 12/09 BFP #1 (DD born 9/10)
    8/12 dx Lupus (ANA+/APA-), 12/12 BFP #2  natural m/c 6w 2d 
    TTC#2  since 9/12  50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #1 Beta 10/4=BFN
                                 50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #2 Beta 11/1= BFN
                                      100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #3 Beta 12/26=BFFN
    100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #4 Beta 2/14= BFFN
    Took a LONG Break
    Lots of Luck and Love BFPB for life KOFMKG
  • imageSnowflakeBride06:
    imagenosoup4u:

    I love this advice thank you!!  

    Happy to help - hopefully she'll get better. Hang in there!

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • I weaned DD earlier this year at 22-23 months. When we were trying to space out nursing sessions, I would use distration to get her to forget that she wanted to nurse. I also would tell her that there wasn't any milk left "in there" (which was true).  She sleeps in her own room so DH started putting her to bed and also getting up with her at night when she woke up. It was tough at first, but it literally was almost cold turkey that she stopped asking for it (which is shocking because she was often seeming like a 6 month old at times).

     Anyway, good luck!!

  • For night weaning I've always just kept repeating that the milk is sleeping and they can nurse in the morning. Then I just didn't give in, ever. DD1 kept asking to nurse in the middle of the night for months. DD2 accepted it a bit faster. I think it was just a few weeks total. Both girls continued to wake at night even after night weaning. I night weaned DD1 at 26 months and DD2 at 25 months. Our morning session was the last one that they dropped. 

    ETA: When DD woke at night, she still came into our bed to sleep/cuddle with me, she just didn't nurse then. 

    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
  • I have been trying to gently wean my 3 1/2 year old for...a solid nine months now!  Apparently, I'm not very good at it, so maybe you don't want my advice!  Anyways, she has always been VERY attached to nursing.  She went from 6 or 8 nursing sessions to one or two really easily after I got pregnant and my supply tanked.  However, the session right before bed, one during the night, and the first one in the morning were tougher. 

    During my pregnancy, I was able to tell her that the "nur-nurs" were sleeping, which has mostly eliminated that session.  At this point, she askes once a month or so...

    I eliminated the morning session by getting up before her and making sure we had something to do or somewhere to go as soon as she woke up.  It took a few weeks, but now that she is used to not nursing in the morning, she doesn't ask anymore and we are able to enjoy morning cuddles again.

    The right before bed session is the one that she is most attached to.  Until a couple weeks ago, she asked every night and I would let her nurse for "just a minute" (which was actually about 15 seconds) on each side.  We got back from a two week trip two weeks ago.  DH and I both want her to wean, so we made a plan that he would put her to bed.  In the past two weeks, she has nursed twice, so we are making really great progress.  I also admit that, when DH hasn't been able to do our bedtime routine, I have just let DD stay awake until she just falls asleep where she is, then I bring her to bed asleep. 

    Although she falls asleep just fine with DH or my mom, last night was the first time in her entire life that I put her to bed without nursing her first.  It was a really exciting night for me!  It makes me feel like we are on the right track.

  • I tried to gently wean around 2 then we did wean at 2 1/2. She wasn't quite ready the first time. (I did similar things that you did and she responded in similar ways.) However, when she was 2 1/2 I talked to her about it for a week or so. I said things like, "Nursing isn't forever," and "We're going to try to not nurse." She acted mad, but when the time came, I told her the last nursing session was it and to say, "Bye bye nursing," and she did! It was nearly trauma-less. I think there was a big maturity difference between 2 and 2 1/2. 
    DD#1 - 12/09  
    DD#2 - 7/13  
    Baby #3 due 1/19, m/c 6/18  
    DD#3 due 12/19!
     
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