Those of you with stepparents please come in.....

Crystal318

What does your LO call your stepmom/stepdad/etc.

Does it depend on the type of relationship you have with them?

My sons father and I agree that if we do not call them Mom or Dad then LO should not call them grandma/grandpa. I have a stepfather (but divorced from my mom now but still in our lives - grew up with him since I was three), her new boyfriend, a stepmother who I cant stand. On LO dad's side his mom is remarried for the second time and his dad has been remarried twice as well. It would be ridicuous to have LO call everyone a different form of the word grandparent plus I cant stand half of them anyways. Plus at the rate these people get married and divorced LO would be like WTF, who are these people and why do I have so many grandparents!??! 

Well my dad has been having my son call my stepmom (who I cant stand) "Grandma" and I confronted him about it and I dont think he is happy. Oh well, right?

WWYD?

aglenn

I have a stepfather and we refer to him as "Grandpa LastName."  So the kids have three grandpas, but IMO that is easier than coming up with something else.  When they are old enough to understand we can talk about the situation, but for now they don't know any different.  There are so many different family configurations that I don't think it's really all that weird to have an extra grandparent or two, but that's just me.  (I don't call my stepfather Dad, just use his first name).

However, my ex-stepmother (Dad divorced again) I would not call Grandma.  I actually don't speak to her anymore because of all the drama she tried to drag me into during the divorce, so I don't call her anything at all.    But if she were still in the picture I would just have the kids call her by her first name and refer to her as a family friend.

Crystal318

aglenn:

I have a stepfather and we refer to him as "Grandpa LastName."  So the kids have three grandpas, but IMO that is easier than coming up with something else.  When they are old enough to understand we can talk about the situation, but for now they don't know any different.  There are so many different family configurations that I don't think it's really all that weird to have an extra grandparent or two, but that's just me.  (I don't call my stepfather Dad, just use his first name).

However, my ex-stepmother (Dad divorced again) I would not call Grandma.  I actually don't speak to her anymore because of all the drama she tried to drag me into during the divorce, so I don't call her anything at all.    But if she were still in the picture I would just have the kids call her by her first name and refer to her as a family friend.

I totally agree with you on this. When I said "if we dont call you mom/dad then LO wont call you grandma/grandpa" I totally meant that is what we decided for our situation not that I think that is how it should always be. Honestly, the only reason we decided that is because half of the "grandparents/stepparents" are so damn immature and whiny, we just had to pretty much say absolutely yes or absolutely no to avoid any of the drama.  Its ridiculous if you ask me!

aglenn

Yeah, it IS ridiculous.  Divorce makes people act like toddlers sometimes and it drives me nuts.  I told DH that he is stuck with me forever because I don't want our kids to be putting up with this nonsense for their whole lives. 

allioop2001

I have a stepmother who I call by her first name. My situation is a little different though because my mother is deceased and I can't come to terms of calling her "mom." It took me years to even say "stepmother," as I used to say "my dad's wife." My sisters have children who were born before she was in the picture, so they call her by her first name. When I announced that I was pregnant, she caught me off guard by asking "Can I FINALLY be called Grammy?!?!" I didn't have the heart to say no, but it doesn't matter now anyway because we've become a lot closer. I don't forsee her and my dad divorcing and she really is a grandparent to DS.

mbgreenwalt

I call my stepparents by their first names, but my kids call them grandma and grandpa.  I have good relationships with both and they are good to my kids.  They are fulfilling the role of a grandparent and I think they deserve the title.

MrsWindyCity

My stepmom and I are not necessarily close, but she has been in my life since I was 10. I call her by her FN.

DS calls her "yiayia" which is the Greek word for grandma (same thing he calls my mom). I can't imagine him calling her by her FN or anything else. In his mind, she is as much of a grandma as my mom is (and in my mind, too). 

stever

My son calls my step parents by their names. My stepmom is childless so has no grandkids. When DS1 was born my dad referred to her as Grandma and it really bugged me. I didn't go so far as to tell my dad not to call her that, I just always called her by her name and eventually they got the hint.

Neither of my stepparents are my favorite people but I'd like to think that that hasn't tainted my judgement, they're just NOT the grandparents. End of story.

JessandtheBabe

My in-laws are grandma and grandpa to my DD. My dad is her Grandpa "first name" and his horrible wife (who has been around for 13 years) is Nana. My mom is DD's Lola (her choice of names). They all just kind of picked their own. I think you totally have the right to chose, if you want to.

tyke29

My DS has several sets of grandparents, but we love them all.  (I dont really like my MIL, but no changing that.  LOL.) 

My mom and her longtime BF - Grandmama and Hobo (Hobo was his dad's nickname)

DH's mom and stepfather - Grandmother and Pappy

DH's dad - Homey (He told us after over 2 years, he wanted to be Grandpa like the other kids call him.  Well after 2 years and seeing him 4 times you are lucky to be called anything.)

Very close family friends - Grandma and Pawpaw (Their kids are called Aunt and Uncle and the grandkids are my son's cousins.)

Our motto is more "Love makes a Family".  It works for well for us.  Once DS is older he will understand the different relationships.