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Anyone else feeling kind of "numb"?

kimberm0511kimberm0511 member
in Secondary IF
For months I obsessed with this 2IF crap...now I've reached a point where I still want to be pregnant so badly, but I don't feel quite as obsessed as before. My meds for IVF should arrive today and now all I have to do is wait for AF to get here. I'm excited, but it just doesn't feel real. I'm also anxious for my baseline sono b/c I have a feeling I have a cyst and I'm hoping it will disappear. I've been spotting a tiny bit and the last time that happened I had a big fat cyst. When that happened I was devastated I had to skip a cycle. Now I have the "well..what's another month" attitude. Obviously, I want to get this over with and be pregnant already, so I don't get what's up with me. Maybe I'm just nervous for IVF since it's my first time...who knows.
TTC #3 (#1 for DH) since September 2011. DX: Unexplained infertility with possible cervical factor. May 2012 did clomid with IUI - BFN August 2012 IUI #2 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN September 2012 IUI #3 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN October 2012 IUI #4 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN November/December 2012 IVF/ICSI #1 Retrieved 12 eggs, 8 fertilized. Transferred 1 beautiful embryo and 5 made it to freeze. Got my BFP! January 2013 u/s showed empty gestational sac. FET cycle April 2013.  Transferred 2 5 day embryos.  BFP!!!!!  2 heartbeats!!!!  EDD:  12/27/13
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Re: Anyone else feeling kind of "numb"?

  • ttcmbbabyttcmbbaby
    I get like this at times too... but I honestly believe it is a defense mechanism we use to not get our hopes up too high to just be let down and crushed yet again. Don't feel bad for feeling this way, it is totally normal! Best of luck and hope all goes well!!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2 since 2009 Have PCOS two close calls with letrozole and hcg trigger. Hoping 3rd time does the trick... Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • efhoping2010efhoping2010 member
    Good luck on your cycle!!!
    H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  
    ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!
    Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled :( 
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer :( 
    IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical :(  
    IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015
    ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.
    DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements
    Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"
    ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers :)
    Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally
    Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!
    CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24
    Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20
    FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!
    Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19
    Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day
    Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19
    Flight to clinic 7/22
    FET 2 CCS BLASTS :):)  7/23 :):) YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded :):)
    7/26 :):) 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER
    7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2 :):) 
    7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!! :):) 
    Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET
    Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET
    8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!! :):) 
    First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!
    Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!










     










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  • jeannaqueenajeannaqueena member

    I am feeling exactly the same way.  I think at this point the waiting feels so long and I can't even process the thought if this IVF doesn't work.  I do feel like I am really going to "try" this month. There is a good chance we will get PG.  I heard myself say "when we get pg" last night, and I have been saying "if we ever get pg again" recently, so I take it as I am more hopeful than I want to admit.

    Anyway, sorry about the ramblings.  I hope that made sense.  

    TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
    BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
    3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
    TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
    BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP 
    Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
    Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
    Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
    Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
    Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
    Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie
    Miracle Surprise BFP, EDD 10-1-15; saw HB great Betas, 11weeks lost baby MC at home
    Moved forward with FET transfered solo frostie on 6-4-15, beta 1: 315, beta 2: 738, u/s showed one baby on track EDD 2-21-16
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  • sugabugsugabug
    I have started to feel this way as well. I am having some issues and am on a 2w pelvic rest order... Af is coming anyday because I've been spotting as usual... So that puts us out for an early Dec bfp. I'm off and on the emotional roller coaster of just giving up, but deep is a smidge of hope left. I think.its normal this far in the game to get discouraged. Kinda hard not to...
    Anyways, best of luck to you, hope your spirits cheer up :
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