working mamas check in

bornmommy

How is it going? 

I'm not doing to great.  Yesterday was a month for me being back.  I'm actually crying more everyday when I leave instead of less.  I have a great situation when it comes to child care and I'm a teacher so my hours are decent but I'm still so sad I have to work and not be with my baby.  I hope y'all are doing better than me!

Jess & Drew

I've been back for a little over 4 mths. I love being a working mom, but I know it's not for everyone...just like being a SAHM wasn't for me. For me personally, I feel like I give DD more quality time after being away from her all day. I'm sorry to hear it's so hard on you

babyruth88

Omg i miss ava like crazy when im gone at work but i do enjoy the few days break. I went back part time theres no way i could do it full time.

JAP09-02

Sorry you're having a rough time.

I work PT average 24 hours/week and find it to be the perfect balance. When Tuesday comes around I'm usually ready to head back to work. I'm a pharmacist and really enjoy my job for the most part. I'm pretty sure I'd go crazy if I had to stay home with 2 kids all the time.

I do remember feeling the same as you when I was working FT after having my first. I think a lot of it stemmed from exhaustion, as DD1 wasn't sleeping well. DH was also all over the country on rotations for school, and I was pretty much playing single parent.

Just know you aren't alone, and try to soak up every minute.

joshandpanda

sorry it hasn't been the best for you... I hope it gets better soon for you.

Im doing really good... there are some days that I really miss Ky, but I know that in order to give him the life I want for him, I need to be working right now.  

Im hoping that when we have a 2nd, that I can expand my in home business and stay home with them. But we will see when that time comes. 

Dwinalsinlove

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry you are having a rough time.

I'm doing pretty good. Some days it is really hard to leave her. We are lucky that a family friend with just one other child offered to take A for the same price we budgeted for daycare. We love her and A loves being there so that makes it easier.

I was dealing with some working mom guilt this weekend because we went out Sunday afternoon for wings with friends and I felt really guilty about leaving her. I'm an idiot and calculated how much time she spends with her daycare provider v. how many awake hours she spends time with me. However, I calculated it wrong and convinced myself that since we were going out she spent more time with our daycare provider then me. Which even if that was the case is not a big deal because date nights are super important as well. I'm doing much better now.

RMama2012

Hey.  (((hugs)))  I know how you feel.  Next week will be 3 months back at work full time.  I saved enough vaca days to take 4 day weeks so i have only worked 1 full week so far.  I also have a great childcare situation and feel guilty complaining when some people have it much worse (mine is family, free, & a 5 minute walk). 

 It's very hard and some days are better than others.  It was almost like a bell curve where it was fine, got much worse (crying all the time), and its getting better again.  Other coworkers have told me that you'll always have "those days."   How quick my commute goes makes a big difference in how I feel any given day.  The post Sandy commute has been brutal.

What helped me is that I worked from my inlaws home (they watch LO) the week of Hurricane Sandy (we're in NY) and I saw that while I was missing him, he was sleeping a good portion of the day anyway and getting so much love and attn when he's awake. I'm not missing anything if he is sleeping.  It was nice to see what his typical routine is and what he is doing.

Give it some time before you make any opinions on being a working mom.  If you're not getting enough sleep, that's just adding to the stress.  Same with pumping at work if you are doing that. 

hopefulmom81

I am so sorry you are having a tough time.

Personally, I lost my mind (literally) with anxiety being with DD 100% of the time.  I worried about every mark, noise, weird moment incessantly.

I work at 80%, so off on Thursdays and weekends, and I really feel like I have the best of both worlds.

As an only child of a SAHM, I can see how it made me really resistant to change and overwhelmed easily.

I love that DD gets used to other children and not being the center of the universe. I think that can be a lot of pressure and tough on kids (speaking from experience).  

Just remind yourself you are working, most likely, to provide her a better life and that you are doing what is best for her, not yourself.  The first true act of selfless motherhood.  I am sure it bothers you WAY more than LO. 

RMama2012

hopefulmom81:

you are working, most likely, to provide her a better life and that you are doing what is best for her, not yourself.  The first true act of selfless motherhood.  I am sure it bothers you WAY more than LO. 

 

This is great!

notallisonmarie22

I've been back for a month and it's actually going really well.  I work from 5am - 1pm, so I'm home with my babies by 1:30pm and have plenty of time to spend with them every day.  I also have a part time job that I work 15 hours a week from home, but I don't work those hours until after they are in bed.  I feel very fortunate to have the schedule I have.  If I had to work a standard 8a-5pm or 9a-5pm I'd never get to see them and I'm pretty sure I'd lose it.

stemms8810

I hope it gets easier for you.

I have been back to work 4 months and so far so good. I have days where I miss both my kids a lot and others where I feel the normal missing them feeling.  I enjoy working and feel like I am more productive and a better mom that I am not home with them all the time.  I don't feel like being a SAHM would be right for me at this time so I think that makes it easier for me to be at work.

aldavis78

Jess & Drew:

I've been back for a little over 4 mths. I love being a working mom, but I know it's not for everyone...just like being a SAHM wasn't for me. For me personally, I feel like I give DD more quality time after being away from her all day. I'm sorry to hear it's so hard on you

This is me too. I have to out in the world but I love my days off with DS. It makes it so special. 

hurricanelydiaa

I promise it gets better. I've been back to work since K was 7 weeks old. I actually was fine at first and then a few weeks later it hit me and I was a bit weepy for a little while. Now I'm doing much better and I truly enjoy being back to work. It helps keep me sane.

bellelamb

I'm a sahm now but worked when ds 1 2 were babies. I can say that it doesn't always get better, with my first I was ok but with my second I was a mess the whole time so by the time he was 9 months old dh and I decided to figure out how for me to sah, then I got pregnant with L and now it only makes sense for me to be home.
It's amazing we figured out how to cut things and save money and even though we thought we were broke before we aren't any worse off with money now than when I worked.
I'm not saying being a sahm is for everyone or needs to be but if you feel it is for you I'm just saying there are ways to make it work. Let me know if you want suggestions.

IgnatusDem

I just started working end of October but I've been super super lucky.  I got a job at a daycare so I bring my son to work; drop him off in the baby room; and go down the hall to the 3 year old preschool where I work.  It's been really fantastic since I'm able to get a break every 3 hours to go and nurse him (especially good since he refuses any type of bottle)  It usually means I forgo my lunch break; but that's a small price to pay for me.

tarajayne

I go to school full time and work part time.  We are trying to get our house ready to put on the market , and we only have 1 car.  Life is pure craziness but I still get to spend real quality time with them.  I am glad I am not a full time sahm, I could never survive.  Our nanny comes Mon-Wed and I always can't wait for her to get here on Mon, lol.  Actually the most stress right now is from getting the house ready.  It's kind of impossible to get things done when you are here alone so it ties up our weekends which is our only time together as a family.

kcircell

Bornmommy how are you sleeping? I find the day I have at work and the amount I cry is pretty tied to how much sleep I have gotten. I've been doing well for the last month or so but about 6 weeks after I went back to work I was a sleepless bawling mess.