We are not necessarily Christian but do believe in 'something,' and are starting to go to a UU church so this really has nothing to do with religion.
There is something about lying to kids about Santa Claus bothers me. But I can't articulate anything more than that on the subject, something just tugs at me.
The commercialism of Christmas is OUT OF CONTROL, IMO. We plan to do, for gifts, the 'one thing you need, one you read, one you wear, and one you want' thing.
But I don't want to kill the wonder of it all and their imaginations. We wouldn't NOT do gifts but they'd be from mom and dad.
What do you guys think? She's 12 weeks now so obviously not an issue this year but I'd like to start a precedent. Thanks for any insights!
Re: Opinions on Santa Claus?
I haven't introduced the idea of santa yet. I'm not a huge fan of santa, but more for the commercialism aspect than the lying part.
I agree with pp that christmas is as commercial as you make it. If you spend time creating family traditions, and focusing on the "important" things then the presents become a bit secondary.
I'm all about creating magic for kids. Is it lying to suggest there are fairies at the bottom of the garden? You could look at it like that. But I'm completely happy to spend my time hunting for said fairies with my 2 yr old, and looking for clues of where they might live.
I do think having santa as a part of your christmas tradition gives you an easy out with, "we'll have to see what santa brings" when kids ask for certain things. But I'm just as happy to say, "we'll have to see what happens."
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
That's a beautiful idea!
We're doing the Santa Magic Christmas. I have fond memories of Christmas. I don't think my parents did me any disservice by celebrating it in that way. Like we did, my children will know the stories of Christmas and be able to make up their own minds. We will not go overboard though.
We are Catholic, so there is much religious significance to the holiday for us too, which adds to the traditions in our home.
When DS finds out about Santa, we'll discuss the spirit of charity and every year he can pick out something to donate, following the example of St. Nicholas.
Speaking of St. Nicholas, that's another tradition we have in our home. We put out shoes on St. Nicholas' day and he brings a book, chocolate, and a piece of fruit... orange, usually... and leaves them in or near your shoe!
We are not going to do Santa Claus. Some friends & family members may not understand why or "get it", but that's okay with us. We plan to explain to our child what Christmas is truly about and tell them that some people take part in all the Santa Claus hoopla, but we will not because it takes away from the true meaning. We will be giving gifts, but they won't be "From: Santa".
We are also going to use Christmas as a time to teach our children about being generous. They will be going through old toys that are in good condition and picking out what can be donated that they don't play with anymore. Throughout the year, we are going to save up money (kids can do chores & half goes into savings, other half goes into donation jar) and adopt a family at Christmas and shop together or donate to an organization.
I don't have kids yet, but I've always taken issue with Santa, etc. I never believed in Santa or any of the other fairy tales, even as a small child, but my mom would never be straight with me and just tell me the truth. I used to do experiments and trick her to "prove" that I was right and Santa didn't exist, and she'd still deny all my "evidence." What this led to was a pattern in my life that resulted in my being an extremely frustrated child because nobody thought I had a mind of my own and nobody included me in the truth.
On the other hand, Spouse remembers the Santa story fondly and wants that same merriment and wonder for our children. In the past, we had decided that he could tell them what he wanted but I would never outright lie to them, and if they came to me for the truth I would tell them. But we haven't talked about it recently, so thank you for the reminder that this definitely needs to be revisited now that we are actually having a child.
I liked a lot of the idea put forth- having only a few gifts from Santa, the little poem about what you get, etc. So thank you! Another thing that always bothered me was that I didn't get to feel like I had been appropriately grateful for what I had received because my parents wouldn't accept the "thanks yous" and always said "no its from Santa." I also agree that the commercialism is totally out of control and it is great to hear some ideas to combat it.
We do Santa following the German St Nicholas traditions and we stress the story of the actual Saint.
So Santa does the stocking gifts, like the one version of the story about St Nicholas helping the three poor daughters get their dowries. There will be a cool gift in the stocking, along wth the gold coin chocolates and bathroom sundries (tooth brushes, body wash, etc).
There is a wonderful lesson from the real man's life.
As for our gifts, the kids only get three gifts from the parents (just like the three gifts from the Magi), no more than $100 if that. The grandparents and aunts are asked to keep the gifts to ONE item ranging in the $30 range.
We spend considerably more on Birthdays becuase we don't want to give into the commercialism and we want the focus to be on the right people at the right time.
When I was a kid, I had a ton of presents every year, and it was a thing. Id sit in front of my mom and rip open the package to see what she got me. It was a shared thing, and it was really special. I knew she loved it. When my son is 4, 5 we are going to start picking out toys for Santa to take back to give to another kid who needs it.
Picking out things to bless or just spoil other people with rocks, and I dont mind having a big budget for that, and dont see it as commercialized.
I fully agree with this, too. Smart lady!
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PgAL and PAL always welcome...I take a "don't ask, don't tell" policy about Santa. I never believed in him (too many know-it-all big sisters!), but DH did and was much more into having our kids believe in him. So, I bite my tongue when DS1 talks about him. DS1 does believe in him, but he also thinks dragons, fairies and Mickey Mouse (which frankly, I'm more horrified by!) are real, too. So we'll see.
I'm not looking forward to Xmas this year, as it's with the in-laws, and they are all about Santa - now that DS1 is old enough, I'm sure they'll be trying to make it into a huge deal. As it stands, we don't give any special Santa gifts, and do try and limit what they get (this year I'm aiming for getting most toys used off eBay). We also focus on being with family, making things/food, singing songs, decorating, etc. I think DS1 is also now old enough we can talk about getting gifts for kids who don't have as much as he does, stuff like that.
So TL,DR: you can have it anyway you want, ha ha. But Xmas is totally possible and still fun without Santa!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
Um, my point was we have no stipulations when it comes to Santa, which pretty much everyone else on here does. We do lists and visit Santa and give most of the presents from Santa, and that is definitely different than what most people said. I don't understand the snotty response.
We wavered on this one. DH grew up doing Santa, I grew up not doing it, and as a child I never felt I missed out on anything. However, now with my own kids, imagining their faces light up as they excitedly anticipte Santa's arrival, it kinda makes me want to do it. So we went back and forth.
We talked about Santa just doing one big gift. We thought about having Santa come on St. Nick's night so that didn't make Christmas all about Santa. We thought about having Santa just fill stockings. We thought about telling the kids that it's just a big game so they know it's not real but they can still imagine and play. We thought about sticking some anonymous presents under the tree with no tags and just being like "I don't know where this came from. Do you know where this came from?" and letting them decide if they thought Santa brought it.
In the end, the decision was kind of made for us. We asked our three year old if he thinks Santa is real, and he said "No, he's just pretend." We've asked him a few more times since then and he just doesn't believe in Santa. So there ya go. We think we might "play" Santa by having DS help us deliver some small gifts to people as anonymous random acts of kindness and then teaching him about St. Nick and how he did that
All of this. I don't think there's any harm in Santa.
This exactly. I think there is a lot of emphasis and talk about the lie, the deception, etc. when I really don't think it's as big of a deal as it's made out. Like, I dont think a child will be full of distrust and eternal hate for his or her parents when they realize Santa may not be who they inagined. If Santa is done age appropriately and effectively, I see it causing more cumulative joy than harm.
I think the enormity and fun of the season will shine through. We aren't religious, but that doesn't mean we won't educate our daughters about what the holiday season means to people around the world. We are charitable, giving, and tolerant. We are funloving, traipsing out to the woods to cut a tree, spending time with family, singing Christmas songs, baking, working puzzles and playing games, and driving around town to judge the best decorations.
I think Santa is just one part of a magical season, and a magical time in a kid's life when anything is possible. I'm all for it.
At what point do you inform a child that Santa isn't real if he does believe? My stepson is 10 and still believes in Santa. He doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny or the tooth fairy anymore, but Santa is something he can't let go of. Just curious on other people's opinions.
I am not sure that you ever 'inform' a child that Santa is not real. I am willing to bet that your 10 year old SS does not believe in Santa, but he is not ready to give up that part of Christmas. My parents never sat me down and told me Santa was not real.
I never believed Santa Clause was real, but enjoyed my parents' pretending he was anyway. I'm hard-core religious, but the "non-religious" aspects of Christmas are representatives of the religious aspects. So when people say Christmas is too commercial, I tend to disagree.
I don't think a lot of presents is too commercial, it's just the way people think about the presents. I make a sacrifice for my friends and family by spending money on them and by taking the time to think about what they would like for Christmas. Giving gifts is a legitimate language of love. What I love best is everyone sitting in the same room for a few hours, laughing, being nice, and having fun. Being with family is the point.
I believed in Santa until I was 12--because it was more fun and more magical than to not believe. My parents just let me and my sister believe until we figured it out ourselves. Sometimes I still wish I believed the way I did as a child. Every year, however, we got gifts from Santa AND from Mom and Dad, it was never either or, which I think made the "Santa's not real" transition a little easier and made more sense.
We are Christian, Catholic actually, and I think combating the commercialism of Christmas is all about the culture you create in your family, throughout the year, not just at Christmas. We had Santa (and other tenants of secular Christmas) in our house, but we also went to mass each week, had an advent wreath, talked about the nativity story in CCD and made related crafts, read nativity children's books, etc. We did it all in our house and the true message of Christmas was always clear to us. It was always a joyful time of anticipation of new life, new beginnings, giving and gratitude, light in the darkness, tradition and family. It is still my absolute favorite time of year!
P.S. I also think that some of the classic Christmas specials (Muppet Family Christmas, Charlie Brown Christmas, Grinch, claymation) focus on the true spirit of Christmas rather than the commercialism. I always LOVED watching those as a kid.
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