Adoption

New poster--Questions

Hi new poster I just have a question for everyone. How did you deciede WHEN to start the process? We currently have about 1/3 of the costs saved up for adoption but aren't sure when to start the process ( I know from research it can take a while). I would like to start sooner rather than later and while we wait we can work on saving...Looking to get your thoughts/experiences. Maybe I'll add a poll.

 

EDIT: Also, for those that are voting/responding if you say now can you justify why? Our fear is just that we won't have the money in time if we start the process now...

[Poll]

Re: New poster--Questions

  • Since the cost varies, I would at least start the research portion now.

    Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.

  • I think it depends on how you define "start the process". Research? Decide on what route to take? Attend information sessions? Pick an agency/lawyer/facilitator? Start paperwork?

    I can give a better answer after I know that.

    We started talking about adoption 8 months before we started any paperwork. During that time I read Adoption for Dummies, related parts of it to DH, and let him get comfortable with the idea of adopting. We attended some webinars and phone seminars, and talked to 2 agencies we were interested in. Long, involved conversations about the homestudy process and what the process looked like. We were also selling a rental property to afford the adoption, so everything hinged on when that happened.

    After we sold the property, we spent another couple of months deciding between the 2 agencies. At that point we sent in the application and started the hometudy process.

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  • I didn't vote, but I will tell you what we are doing.

    We decided last Thanksgiving that we wanted to adopt rather than pursue IF treatments.  We began researching agencies in our area, and in February attended an info meeting - we decided to go with that agency.  We got the breakdown of how much the adoption would cost in total, and when each portion of the fees would be due.

    From there, we sat down and figured out how much we would be able to put into savings each month, and factored in the fact that I'm in grad school.  We decided we would put in our application to the agency once we had the all of the fees we would need to be on the wait list saved, and I was in my last semester of school.  We already have the fees saved now, but are waiting until January for that last piece of the puzzle.

    We anticipate that we will have the full amount of fees saved by February of 2014.  We could theoretically end up with a match/placement before then, so we have other financing lined up in case we don't have all the money we need for the match/placement fees.  Either my ILs will help us with the remainder or we will open a 0% interest for 18 months credit card and charge the remainder to that, since we would be able to pay it off before the 18 months is up.

    With all that said, it kind of depends on what you're comfortable with.  You may want to start researching agencies and programs now, so you can narrow down your choices - this will help you learn how much money you're really looking at and help you decide on a timeline for application, etc.  We estimate from application through homestudy completion (i.e. the time from application to "wait list") to be 4-6 months, but it completely varies depending on you, your agency, your social worker, etc.

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  • Thanks everyone for the replies! Everyone is so helpful!

    I should have been more specific. I guess what I mean by "start" is GET ON THAT LIST!! haha

    I have "unofficially" been researching adoption for a while now. I have known we would be doing this for quite some time. I have narrowed down our agency choices, I guess we are at the point right before jumping in and we just need to make up our minds to save more money or to start this process.

    Thanks for your insight...it helps!

  • imageNikikruiseWed40116:

    Thanks everyone for the replies! Everyone is so helpful!

    I should have been more specific. I guess what I mean by "start" is GET ON THAT LIST!! haha

    I have "unofficially" been researching adoption for a while now. I have known we would be doing this for quite some time. I have narrowed down our agency choices, I guess we are at the point right before jumping in and we just need to make up our minds to save more money or to start this process.

    Thanks for your insight...it helps!

     

    If you're at the point of selecting an agency, they'll want some money to start the process - and at different times after that.  If you can afford to pay the starting fee and will have enough for each incremental step when it comes, I'd start now.  But if you can't, I'd wait until you have it saved up.  That's why I voted wait.  But I know that waiting is hard... I'm still waiting myself... And I know that it isn't realistic for everyone to have it all in the bank at once.  So, it's whatever you can honestly manage. 

    Me: 32, DH: 45... TTC #1 since May 2010
    July - Nov 2011: Testing with OB... OB said everything looks good
    March - Sept 2012: Moved to RE.. 4 treatment cycles - responses of one or no follicles
    09.03.12: Diagnosed Poor Ovarian Response.. DE IVF only option
    Feb - Nov 2012: Pursued Adoption. That door slammed shut.
    12.23.12: Surprise BFP (first ever)... 12.25 - 12.31: Natural M/C
  • Blsd4given-- Thanks! Ya I feel that is where we are now. I have seen some agencies looking for money in three large increments. I would feel more comfortable if we had 2/3 of the money before we started the process.

    For now, I will continue to lurk on these boards if that is Ok with you ladies. 

  • I think it also depends on how long it will take you to save ALL the , and what your plan wound be if you were to be placed before you had saved it all. And of course how comfortable you'd be if you used that "backup" plan. and what kind of adoption you are pursuing and what the timeline looks like.

    We started before we had all the money, partially bc we felt we would take a while to be matched super nontraditional family and partially due to age issues my wife was 42 when we started the process. We knew we'd have to borrow family loan or credit card the last approx 8,000 if things did happen quickly and we were ok with that, partially bc we knew we'd get some of that back via the tax credit. As it turns out, we did have a short wait 6 months from approval till the birth of our son, and we have credit card debt now. I'm totally comfortable with that.

    We have friends who waited about 2 years to start, saving the whole time, and will have all the fees needed before they enter the pool.
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  • Whoa, mobile isn't adding parentheses etc so sorry if that's hard to read! Also, I didn't vote in the poll bc I think it's such an individual choice, so I just explained how we made the choice for us. Good luck!
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  • To send in an application, we wanted the match fee (the major fee at our agency) available. The other fees we could pay as we went.
  • Did you specify what sort of adoption?  That would change my answer.


    If you are pursuing an adoption that has a predicatable and long course (I am thinking adoption from China), start now!  If you are pursuing a domestic adoption and are open to all sorts of variances (drugs, alcohol) and open to race and gender, you should probably wait since it could move fast (or slow). 

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • Hard to say since it is different for everyone, but I am the type that would want at least 2/3's of money saved up and not needed if a rainy day strikes before hand.  For instance, we just had our fence blown over by Sandy and repairs will be over $9K, thank goodness for insurance, but with our deductible and still not sure how much insurance will give us yet it will be at least $2k out of pocket.  If I didn't have all of the adoption money I will need in the next 6 weeks, I would either have to forgo the fence or something else, but knowing that the buckets of money are separate it wasn't as big of a deal.  Hope that helps.
    image

    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


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  • Again, Thank you all for your answers/perspectives. It really helps in making this decision. I am on the fence. I really want to start now and just see what happens, and if we need to come up with the money sooner have a backup plan for the financing which we would. However, my husband is a little bit reluctant to start without all the funds ( or nearly all the funds).

    I'm not sure if I mentioned before but we would be doing domestic  adoption.

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