And the paperwork continues, with great sarcasm.

maryoosa

I wish I had *anything* exciting to share. But I don't.

I spoke to my family advocate today- we're in the "filling out paperwork" portion of our homestudy. I'm aggravated because the agency never sent us the "Adoption Workbook" (read 5 pages of questions that we already answered once in our registration form, once in our autobiographies). So she emailed that to me and my partner and I spent the entire bus ride home and dinner out hammering on the document. It's done with the exception of my partner writing about her experiences with grief/loss/stress. I expect we'll cover that in the morning. 

Also, since my partner had a name change, I'm waiting for her new birth certificate from out of state. 

 I also found out that our Child Abuse Clearances haven't come back through the state yet (no idea what that hold up is, especially because my partner is required to have one anyway as a teacher).  The Family Advocate suggested that she'd have the admin asst. follow up on it (there's a thought).

 So with those few exceptions, and my partner's foot dragging about making an appt. for her physical, we are done with paperwork.  Of course, I haven't sent in the final contract or the domestic infant program fee yet because, I'd rather keep the money in my savings account until I absolutely have to part with it. 

 I'm a super positive person but this is wearing me the hell down. I feel like I've had to ride the agency to get any questions answered. I understand that my sense of urgency is not their sense of urgency, but I also believe that if I'm dropping a tremendous chunk of cash, that as a client/customer they do owe me at least as much courtesy as, oh, I don't know the check out clerk at the grocery store? 

 That said, the more I've talked about adoption the more I've met people who have adopted- I found out recently that a colleague has a 15 year old son who was adopted and she's very much hoping that I have a easy homestudy with a fast placement. We'll see. 

I'm also still reeling post Hurricane Sandy. We live in an area that was  horribly devastated and though we and our family and homes are fine the constant input of devestation is overwhelming. We've been working in the field and have become co-organizers of a volunteer group that is doing demolition and clean outs for people free of charge--- so it's every day off, working in the affected areas.

 

Anyway, in the grand scheme of the world, we are supremely fortunate. 

Thanks for listening. 

 

 

ycristina84

Hang in there! One day this will seem a blip on the radar. I think it's great that you are volunteering and giving back, that always helps pass time more joyously. Sorry some people aren't making you feel like a priority, that can be super frustrating. Specially when this is so very important!

CaptainSerious

Unfortunately, like it or not, you have described a typical experience for many first-time adopters.  Overworked, underpaid, and sometimes burned-out social workers are common, and any one of these conditions is enough to create the kind of oversights and delays you are experiencing. Our first homestudy took an extrodinarily long 8 months(!),  but what I learned through it was that you if you find yourself i this type of situation, you really have to stay on top of them every step of the way, constantly calling to check on them and asking for regular and frequent progress updates.  It's frustrating to be sure, but at least it also helped prepare me to be able to do the same kind of constant monitoring with my children in an upbeat and lighthearted manner.  Good luck, and hopefully things will continue more smoothly as you check-in more fequently.

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DaisyZH

I'm sorry the paperwork is dragging out for you right now.  I haven't gotten to this step yet so no advice here : )  I hope it gets completed soon for you though, and quickly. 

Also I'm sorry for your area being hit so hard by Hurricane Sandy.  It is so wonderful of you to volunteer with the relief efforts.  Thank you so much for your service, I am sure you are doing so much good for so many people.