So here's kind of where I'm at right now, if anybody's wondering....
I'm kind of in this strange limbo about whether to place my boys right now. I feel like if after looking at all these profiles and I still haven't found the right family, that it's a sign I should parent, but I'm so emotionally overloaded from being pregnant and missing my boyfriend and trying to decide whether to place them or not. Right now I think I'll probably bring them home for a few weeks and let my hormones subside and see if I still feel like I should place, and at that point I'll start looking at families again. I really don't want to disappoint a couple.
Re: Kind of in limbo right now..
I can only imagine how tough that can be. In the end, you will make the best choice you can make for your boys. You should never worry about disappointing a couple, because this isn't about them. It's about what is best for your babies. If you feel that it's with you parenting, then that's the right choice. If you feel in your heart that you want to see them with great adoptive parents, that choice will be there for you if and when you decide. There really isn't a wrong path, you know? I'm sorry you feel like you are in limbo, it's not a fun place to be.
It sucks that life throws us these curveballs, that we can't plan or prepare for. I hope some time gives you the answer you need, to make a choice that will give you peace.
You have plenty of time. Take a deep breath and relax. You will know what is right for you and the boys when the time comes. I say look at profiles without the pressure of "I have to find someone"...There are so many families that would welcome those two blessings and share their love with you! But you need to do what is right for YOU!
You are in tough position. Please use this board as a place to vent and find support for whatever you decide. We want what is right for all three of you!
BFP #1 10/6/2012 - EDD 6/17/2013 - M/C 10/16/2012
BFP #2 11/12/2012 - EDD 7/24/2013
6 medicated cycles, 2 pregnancies, 1 ectopic April 2011, Early Miscarriage August 2011
7 more cycles, 1 IUI, No success after last pregnancy
7/1/2012 No more fertility coverage
8/17/2012 started pursuing domestic infant adoption!
11/26/2012 HOME STUDY APPROVED!!!
When relaxing didn't work is my new blog!
(( Hugs )) I'll echo the PPs, you have time and you are being so thoughtful and careful in your decision, no matter what you choose those boys are so lucky and loved already.
Go ahead and look at profiles with no pressure if that's what you want to do, or take a break for a while if that feels more right. Try not to worry about potential APs' feelings, it's so kind of you to do so but this is your decision to make and you need to focus on what you want and what is best for you and your family.
TTC since March 2010, BFP #1 11.09.10, ectopic, m/c 12.14.10 (10w)
Clomid + TI=BFN, IUIs 1-6= BFN
Application for domestic adoption submitted 4/18/12, matched 8/12/12, DD born 10/31/12