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Preemies
pathfindermon
member
Bad day
pathfindermon
member
in Preemies
I had a rough day today and I just needed to vent.
First of all a lady at the grocery store called me a stupid fat cow. (She was angry b/c I was using coupons and she was behind me in line and the cashier was having a problem). Without totally getting into everything- I have gained a lot of weight since my lo was born. Food is how I've been dealing with all the stress and depression of having a preemie (as well as a few other things that have been going on). And I am very sensitive about it. I cried the whole drive home.
Then I had it out with my MIL (which I have never done before) b/c she called my DH twice today yelling at him b/c we didn't invite his cousins to my DS's baptism (which is in 2 weeks). They have made such a big deal about us limiting family visits. I'm seriously so mad at my inlaws. They just don't seem to get that he is our child and that he is a preemie and can't be around a lot of people.
And finally, and most importantly, my DS's PT said at his appt today that she thinks he is 5-6 weeks behind. She only said this b/c I asked specifically how far behind (if at all) she thought he was. I'm was so surprised with her answer b/c she has always told me that he was keeping up. And his pedi said he was completely caught up. I think my mouth must have dropped open when she told me- that seems like so much since he's only 5 months old. I think the main things she was refering to is b/c he doesn't often reach for things and b/c he hasn't rolled over yet. She said she thinks he will roll over by time she sees him in 2 weeks. She said she was happy with his progress and that he is very strong, so I confused as to why all of the sudden he is behind. I should have asked her more about it but she said it at the end of our session. It's hard b/c he is my first one so I have nothing to compare it to but I really didn't think he was that far behind 
Well, thanks for listening to me vent. Sorry it was so long but it was one heck of a day!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bad day
I'm sorry for all that is going on and how horrible that person was in the grocery store. What a terrible excuse for a human being. And then all the drama with your ILs. I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of that. ((hugs))
In regards to the PT, I would just base things on his adjusted age. I see that he was about 9 weeks early. Therefore, he's actually about a month ahead and is closing the gap. He is probably where he needs to be (and a little more), but still hasn't fully closed the gap yet.
My daughter was 14 weeks early and at 9 months she is just starting to sit up unassisted by herself, which is something that 5-6 month-olds termies do. She also isn't crawling, but she has (in the last few weeks) really taken to rolling over to get a toy. She will literally roll multiple times to get from point A to point B to play with it! My EI told me that in her experience, for such a premature baby (as mine was), it usually takes closer to 2 years to completely close the gap in all areas.
For Adalyn, she has also closed the gap more so in certain areas than other. She is further along in communication and cognitive than in gross-motor or fine-motor skills.
I hope that you're not discouraged by the news. To me, it's actually good news!
Me: PCOS DH: Low everything (MFI)
Clomid with TI x 3 2010 BFN
Clomid+IUI+Ovidrel 2010 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 2011
9/8/11 Beta #1: 2082!! 9/19/11 Beta#2 34,689!! U/S 9/22/11 HR 127! 11/8/11 HR 150! 12/6/11 HR 136! 12/14/11 HR 139! Born at 26w2d on 2/4/2012! After 83 days in the NICU, Adalyn came home on 4/26/12!
FET 1 3/2013 BFN
FET 2 5/2013 BFN
This is what my husband always tells me "the good thing about bad days is that they end".... I hope that your bad day is over and you are on to a good one!
As far as the lady in the grocery store just be happy that no matter what you are not a horrible person like she is. I can not even fathom saying anything like that to someone ... the fact that she said it shows that she is not even worth the time it takes to think she's not worth your thoughts!
With the IL's, that sucks. I have gone through similar situations about the holidays. I already told them that we may need to miss things because we have three young nephews who are in school/daycare and ALWAYS sick and I can't have him around them. I was basically told that I was keeping "Their baby" away from them and that I was ruining christmas. Um last time I checked I pushed him out my who-ha and I was the one sitting at his bedside daily. yes I know they love him but they clearly don't quite get it. So stay strong and know you are right to do whatever it takes to protect your baby.
Finally, did the PT say your LO was a few weeks behind for adjusted or actual age?? if it is actual your baby is ahead! One thing I realized (and you saw my other post) is that they don't always see everything either. I was thinking about this a lot today and she was concerned that he didn't want to pull his knees up a lot. This morning it was all he wanted to do. he was tired and hungry at the appt (it was at 7 pm and 8 is usually his bed time but it was the only time they had available) and I can totally get why he didn't feel like doing tricks! i just called home to the caregiver and asked if he did tummy time. she said a few seconds here and there and when I asked why so little she said because the second she puts him down he rolls over.... last night he didn't roll once! so I am sure when you go back in two weeks your baby will be exactly where they should be.
hugs for you and punches to that beotch at the store!!!
Thank you everyone for the support. Today I feel somewhat better.
I couldn't believe that woman at the grocery store. She was complaining that I was taking to long b/c I had used a lot of coupons so I just smiled at her and said "have a nice day". I always use the kill 'em with kindness route. Well, she proceeded to tell me to f*ck off and them called me a stupid fat cow with to much time on my hands. I was kind of in shock. I would never act that. Yes I get angry but not mean and vulgar. She is obviously a sad and angry person.
Things with my inlaws went from bad to worse. My DH talked to his dad last night about it and said he just doesn't understand why they can't come. He was comparing my husbands cousins (who we see once a year) seeing my DS with my niece and sister seeing him. It just doesn't even make sense. He then proceeded to tell me husband that all his stress is my fault and that he doesn't know how my husband can stand dealing with me. And also told my husband that my son is totally on track and not behind at all. ok- why don't you call his PT and ask her. He also said a bunch of other crazy stuff I won't even bother you with. So, that has not gotten better.
As for my lo being behind. It is for his actual age. He is 5 months 1 week and she said he is at 3 1/2 - 4 month level. Which I guess brings him close to his adjusted age. I know that in the big picture it's not a major deal, I just was so surprised b/c up until now she said he was keeping up. The main thing he isn't doing is reaching for things. He can sit assisted and is close to rolling over but isn't quite there yet. I know he will catch up in his own time, I'm just such a worrier. And, after everything else from yesterday I really wanted good news. I did his PT exercises with him today- tummy time and helping him roll. Hopefully working with him more will help him catch up.
Thanks again everyone!! It is so nice to have a place to vent where people understand where I'm coming from!!!
Don't let the pathetic miserable woman in the grocery store get to you. I know it is easier said than done but would any really value the opinion of someone like that.
As for you in laws, it sounds like you are sticking to your guns which is important since you our your LO's advocate. It really blows my mind how many people get upset about limiting visitors due to the health of your child. We limited guests to our LOs baptism as well. Maybe it would be helpful if DH dealt with them from now on about limiting visitors instead of you.
As for the PT my twins are almost exactly the same age as your LO. It sounds like your LO is doing the same things as my guys. They had their NICU follow up today and they were pleased with their progress. They even said my DD was a little ahead for her adjusted age. It really sounds like you should not worry about what the PT said. If you start hearing it from multiple people, then it might warrant more concern. But even if they do fall a little behind our LOs were born premature and that happens sometimes too. The most important thing is they are making progress and they will eventually catch up. (I hope I am making sense.)
Hugs!