Adoption Agency rejection possible?

SleepingBeauty79

 

Good Evening,

My husband and I are seriously looking into adoption. However, after doing some research, i have heard that many agencies will reject you solely on the basis of a mental health diagnosis. I have bipolar disorder, am on medication, and i'm a great mom to my natural 4 year old. Does amyone have any info on this? Do they have you sign something so that they can look into all your medical records, or do they require a note from your doctor saying that you are stable? How much do they dig into this? it makes me sad to know that I would be rejected for this. Thanks for your input.

MagickalNarwhal

Are you interested in international or domestic? If the former, yes there are many countries that will not permit you to adopt with a BPD diagnosis. There may be some that will allow it; I don't know many details about international requirements. For domestic infant adoption however, most agencies just want to know that it's controlled, and won't affect your ability to parent or your life expectancy.

SleepingBeauty79

Thanks, for the info...but what I want to know is...how far do they dig? Do they want to see doctors records? Or speak with the doctor?  Its very embarasssing.

jillianmb

SleepingBeauty79:

Thanks, for the info...but what I want to know is...how far do they dig? Do they want to see doctors records? Or speak with the doctor?  Its very embarasssing.

When you do your home study they will most likely contact your doctor for a statement about your mental health.  It feels embarrassing but you just have to remember that it is worth it!

Also FYI using the term "biological child" is much preferred over "natural child."  "Natural child" can be considered offensive as it suggests adopted children are "unnatural" which is not a label a child should wear. 

bumpuser794640

Agencies will require that your physician fill out a form based on a regular physical.  It will most likely indicate which medications you are taking and for what purposes.  Because of your diagnosis, the agency may also require you to have a letter from your psychiatrist (or whichever doctor monitors and treats your bipolar) verifying that they believe you are stable enough to parent a (nother) child.  You will probably not be disqualified from domestic infant adoption or foster-to-adoption, but many foreign countries will bar you from adopting internationally due to any mental health diagnosis, even if it is under control, because mental health is viewed very differently in most cultures.

The best thing you can do is ask the same questions you have been asking us whenever you contact agencies you may be interested in working with.  I would not wait to disclose this information, since you may already be out a lot of money during the homestudy to face potential disqualification by not checking ahead of time.  GL to you!

MagickalNarwhal

I think it also depends on the agency. Ours had a very specific and detailed form that my dr had to fill out, but they did not contact them directly.

And honestly, I think any good home study is going to be embarrassing in some ways. It's an incredibly invasive procedure that needs all these details for a very good reason. Even if you feel embarrassed, it's unlikely that you would be denied for a domestic adoption agency. Get used to it :

Dr.Loretta

Ditto Gnome. Especially the part about asking about this upfront. That way you'll know going into the process. Bonus: you'll get a feel for whether these are people you want to work with.

And there's no need to be embarrassed. It's a mental health/medical condition. You recognized it, you got treatment, and you're doing great as a mom to your biological child. That's awesome in my book.