Related to the adopting outside of your ethnicity post

IRR

This is more curiosity and not meant to be offensive, but I am just wondering why some people seek to adopt outside of your ethnicity.  I understand those of you who will adopt any child that becomes available without being concerned about race, but for those of you specifically seeking a child different than you I am curious on why?

My DH and I were open to white and latino, since technically I am half latino (I say technically because my father was born and raised in Paraguay, but my grandparents are from Germany) and I have been exposed to latino culture my whole life through family and friends.  I am not sure if I could handle a child from a different background and especially with the post from Elissaann2 who I applaud for fostering in general, but also had to deal with racial issues.  Knowing the world is a cruel place and that there are so many ignorant people, why the urge to add this issue to your family?  

Allie-Jo

Where I live, we were told the agency doesn't get very many adoptions of African American, Latino, or Asian ethnicity...we just live in a prodominatly white state.  I was told that they have a fair amount of caucasion, and a LOT of native american (because there are so many reservations close to us).  I was also told I can specify if I only want a caucasion baby but I could be waiting a long time, to them it seems like they don't get enough caucasion only babies to meet the need of women who want an only caucasion baby, and when they do, the moms always seem to pick the AP open to any race...

When we decided to adopt, we kinda decided that we weren't going to specify race, just because we didn't want to wait to be parents any longer and didn't want our preferance to stand in the way.  There are a few things we said we aren't open to or would have to consider (FASD, Down Syndrom, perm physical disabilities, history of scizophrania) and I'm already panicing that our inability to deal with those is going to hinder us.  But at the same time I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE PARENTING A CHILD I KNOW I WONT BE ABLE TO HANDLE.  Women who can experiance adopt experience depression after adoption as it is, and its worse when you have bitten off more than you can chew, so we were told to be COMPLETELY HONEST with what we can handle.

elissaann26

We felt a tug towards AA that was really hard to describe why.  Although since we were fostering, we were open to any race.  I think we liked the idea of having a diverse family and incorporating new cultures and traditions.  I have always said that I thought being white was "boring".  I realize we have cultures/traditions, but since they are so normal and routine to me I have always, even as a little kid, been curious and jealous of other cultural traditions.  I wanted to learn more about AA race/culture and to really become part of that world.  I feel like that last sentence sounds weird.  Yes, I could have done research, sought out more AA friends, etc. but DH and I both felt that living the culture is VERY different than being an outsider trying to understand it.  And we weren't just curious about it, we wanted to embrace it and live it and have it as part of our family.

Obviously from my other post, our viewpoint now is much more realistic and less naive.  We definitely are still open to having a child of any race in our home, but now we know that there is a lot more to consider than what we thought before. 

ellekae

When DH and I were doing DIA, we were in the transracial program for one reason... because that is where the agency told us that people were needed. Back in 2010, they emailed looking for families in our area for 6-8 AA newborns that they were unable to find families for. I contacted the agency back then to see what we could do to help, but we were unable to start the adoption process at that point.

I grew up babysitting for a family that had four multiracial children who were adopted by white parents, so it didn't seem too weird to me. After reading a lot, I came to understand that there is a lot more to racial differences than I had first recognized, but we were committed to making it work.

We've now switched to IA from China, one reason being that there isn't a specific need for families in the transracial DIA program at this time. Adopting from China still means a transracial/transcultural adoption, but I know that's not the same as adopting a black child (since there seems to be SO much more complexity to black-white race relations than Asian-white race relations in general).

I don't know if that is helpful or just additional information.

sarahtoledo

I heard there was a need for AP's willing to adopt AA children, and we loved the idea.  I feel like we are more equipped than many families to adopt transracially*.  To be honest, we have been thinking about it and preparing so much, I think I'd have a moment of hesitation if a Caucasian BM wanted to meet us.   

*We live in a diverse neighborhood and city, we have a diverse group of friends, we are very open to cultural exploration, and my extended family is very open-minded and welcoming.

ctbride08

The only "draw" we had towards transracial adoption was a willingness to fill that need. 

There are plenty of families available to adopt (healthy) white infants.  High risk, AA, drug exposed babies? Not so much.

CaptainSerious

For me, this question is similar to the other two I am asked more frequently:

 - Why did you choose to adopt without trying to conceive first; and

 - Why did you adopt internationally?

They are all similar because they all have the same answer:  We felt overly blessed in this life, and wanted to share that with someone who might not otherwise get the chance at similar opportunities.

It's simple.  We wanted children, and decided to build our family by adopting a "hard to place" child.  This meant opening ourselves to older children with certain special needs, even though there were still some with which we weren't comfortable.  We were afraid of some of the implications of the American foster system and the possibility of reunification, so we looked towards international adoption.  At that point, we thought about which cultures/nationalities we felt most drawn to.  We have traveled quite a bit and both love South America and its cultures, and so we started by looking there.

To be honest, while I have always been granted the privileges of a White American, my self-identity is much larger than that.  My parents were both immigrants, from Germany and Egypt, and I strongly identify with both cultures. I was raised to travel, and have long seen myself as just a person who happened to be born and raised in America and happened to look more white than not.  I understand that my being granted "White privilege" will make it harder to understand racism and how it might affect my children, but it only momentarily entered our decision-making process.

You asked why we would choose the extra difficulties of an interracial family.  I adopted to offer more possibilities to a child who would most likely not be granted those chances.  In doing so, I chose the extra difficulties/issues that come with being an adoptive family in the first place, not to mention those associated with a special needs adoption. It's just the sad fact that there are many more children of color in need of homes and that the majority of adoptive parents are White. Since we were already drawn to the cultures of South America (which is huge since we are raising our children as Peruvian Americans and foster their culture in our daily lives), there really wasn't a reason for us to shy away from adopting children of a different "race."  The added difficulties we may face together as an interracial family will far be dwarfed by the difficulties my boys would have faced had they not been adopted and aged out of the Peruvian adoption system.  While we may have added a complicating dimension to their lives by bringing them into a "mixed-race" family, they are no doubt still so much better off than they would have been had they not been adopted, and that is what it was all about from the very beginning.

elissaann26

CaptainSerious:

The added difficulties we may face together as an interracial family will far be dwarfed by the difficulties my boys would have faced had they not been adopted and aged out of the Peruvian adoption system.  While we may have added a complicating dimension to their lives by bringing them into a "mixed-race" family, they are no doubt still so much better off than they would have been had they not been adopted, and that is what it was all about from the very beginning.

I love this explanation!  I think you hit the nail on the head about difficulties faced by being a part of an interracial family can be far outweighed by the advantages of being in a loving, caring, safe home.  

kacelle

I don't want to compete with other adoptive parents for healthy Caucasian newborns.  That just isn't my passion.  I want to pursue adoption of children who might not otherwise have homes--waiting children (older, special needs, etc.) or children from minorities.  In my area, adoption agencies often have trouble finding parents for AA infants due to lingering racism but I've never heard of there being a shortage of adoptive parents for Caucasian infants.

IRR

You ladies ROCK.  Thanks for answering and satisfying my curiosity.

JellyTwoPointO

kacelle:

I don't want to compete with other adoptive parents for healthy Caucasian newborns.  That just isn't my passion.  I want to pursue adoption of children who might not otherwise have homes--waiting children (older, special needs, etc.) or children from minorities.  In my area, adoption agencies often have trouble finding parents for AA infants due to lingering racism but I've never heard of there being a shortage of adoptive parents for Caucasian infants.

This is pretty much exactly what I would've said...

silliestbunny

Both of my daughters were adopted domestically. 

DD1 is Korean American and DD2 is Caucasian. We are now in the process of pursuing a third DIA and we have stated we prefer non-Caucasian.  This was a tough decision.  With DD2, we chose to be open... and a Caucasian birth mom chose us. 

Our decision to prefer a non-Caucasian child now is based on the composition of our family.... these are tough decisions as you parent. 

One thing I struggle with in this discussion, though, is the idea that DIA which is open is about the birth parent finding a family that they identify with and want to parent the child. It's sort of strange to think about limiting a birth mom's choices... removing yourself from the choices based on being Caucasian.
I am not saying it's wrong... or right... it's just another odd dimension of DIA. 

ctbride08

CaptainSerious:

The added difficulties we may face together as an interracial family will far be dwarfed by the difficulties my boys would have faced had they not been adopted and aged out of the Peruvian adoption system.  While we may have added a complicating dimension to their lives by bringing them into a "mixed-race" family, they are no doubt still so much better off than they would have been had they not been adopted, and that is what it was all about from the very beginning.

perfectly said.

kipnus

We are open to adopting children of any ethnicity because our background is so multi-cultural. I grew up in a low-income African country, which is where we adopted my youngest brother and sister. My biological sister married a man who has nine adopted siblings, several of which are African. 

My husband's father is from Nepal and his mother is from Venezuela. He was raised in Venezuela until age 13, when his family moved to Canada. He usually is assumed to be Indian, while his brother looks much more Hispanic. I just feel like our children will have someone to connect with, no matter where they come from.