Taking the Chance

massiahl

I'm 44 years old and got pregnant last year while on vacation without assistance. After having a miscarriage at 6 1/2 weeks and a subsequent myomectomy, my husband and I have been trying to conceive.  I have to admit the last 2 years have been especially stressful and it's taken its toll.  After months of trying, I decided to consult with a fertility specialist.  He gave me the run-down, i.e, about my age, the chance of diminished egg reserve, the option of donor eggs (which becomes an issue since I also found out that I am also a carrier of an inverted chromosome) and the like.  Yet, something keeps telling me that all is not lost.  After going through blood tests, the fsh and HSN exam, I found out that not only is my uterus in good condition but that my fsh level is 7.9 and that I have 13 follicles from which to work. My doctor has a pretty good poker face but I think that even he was surprised by my results.  Even though he keeps talking about the statistics, I want to proceed trying to get pregnant with my own eggs before looking at donor eggs as an option. In my mind, I'm not supposed to be "fertile on paper" according to the stats so why shouldn't I take the chance at something that was supposed to be out of reach for me in the first place?     

BabyVDM

I'm 42 now.  I got pregnant for the first time at 40 naturally, mc early.  A few cylces afterwards I was pregnant again (naturally) and mc again early before 9 weeks.  We were referred to RE and had all the tests done, got all the same stats as you and they recommended DE.  I wasn't ready to hear that, so we continued to try on our own.  I got pregnant the 3rd time, naturally without drugs.  I miscarried early around 9 weeks in August.  We decided to keep trying natually while we looked more at DE.  And this is my last hail mary cycle and I'm actually hoping for a BFN because I don't want anymore delays.  I don't think if I got pg it would end well.

I don't regret having tried on our own for so long, I think we needed to prove it to ourselves. But, denial ain't just a river in egypt and when I think back to when I was 41 sitting at my first consult with RE and heard DE I wish I would have said "yes" right then and there, because a year later I'm still sorting the DE process out, looking for a clinic, trying to find a donor.  Maybe, if we had said yes right then and there we would have a babe in arms by now.

Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to say.  Stay hopeful and keep trying, but start looking into alternatives so you can be ready if it comes to that.

 

Sophistikitty

BabyVDM:

Stay hopeful and keep trying, but start looking into alternatives so you can be ready if it comes to that.

 

This! ...But hoping against all hope that things work out for you!  Good luck!

 

BeckyP005

Good luck to you

MarylandWed

Only you will know when it's time to move on. Do what you need to do but also look into other options. For example some places have age limits on adoption. So keep all your options open as you are going through the process. GL!

happywifemomofone

HI, and welcome to the group.  I am 43 and have been TTC since age 40.  We also tried with our OE for far too long-and are now moving on to increase our odds of the desired outcome.  This journey is full of heartache, changing plans and often costs us way more $ than we ever planned.  I wish that I had taken advice of a RE who recommended DE early on-but I wasn't ready to hear the words that were being said.  FSH fluctuates from month to month.....and your chances of conceiving are best represented my you highest reading.  GL! 

chicagobride_07

GL!  I am 42, and after several failed IUI's, went straight to DE.

massiahl

It has been sometime since I've addressed my initial entry.  I thank all the women who have been of support and who've shared their own stories with me.  This site was a blessing for me when I didn't think anyone else understood.  This has been a very emotional and exhausting ride - but one that has ended in success.  As of today, I enter my third trimester with a healthy, chromosomally-nornal, very active little girl.  And she is the result of using my own eggs!!!  The third time was the charm.  

Like most women over 40, I was given the statistics and was trying to prepare for the possibility that it may not work.  Complicating things for me is the fact that I have a chromosomal inversion which makes me susceptible to miscarriages regardless of my age.  The true benefit that being younger would have given me would have been a greater egg supply to choose from had I tried having a child then - which I wasn't.  My IVF doctor was a brilliant but frank physician who was supportive of my decisions. The only thing that I asked him to do was to run my tests and be honest with me.  If my tests showed that I had factors that made it impossible for me to have a child that was biologically mine then I was prepared to take an alternative course of action.  I just wanted to take a shot at it.

Fortunately for me, my blood work suggested that I was a good candidate for IVF.  I responded well to the medications (Menupur and Follistim taken together) and was able to produce eggs. My doctor did make a recommendation that I am glad to this day that I followed: he not only suggested PGD (pre-genetic testing) but that I wait until Day 5 when the embryos reached blastocyst stage to have them tested.  The risk associated with that is that there may not be any embryos left to test as they may die off; however, if the embryos do make it that far, there is a greater likelihood for their survival.  I am so glad that I listened.  Based on the first retrieval, I produced 9 eggs, had 7 embryos, and 5 blastocysts.  Under the microscope, the embryos looked perfect.  By the time they were tested, all were shown to have chromosomal abnormalities - to the point that there was no way that they could have survived in utero.  Had I not tested and had a Day 3 transfer, I would have subjected myself to another miscarriage which I don't think I could have taken.

By the time the second retrieval happened, I had already made the decision to try and get some sense of control over me and not the process.  If you're like me, the hardest part about this was the sense that I was not in control of anything, including my body. Anything that I've ever wanted, I just set my mind and back to it and it was a done deal. Not this.  So, I investigated and adopted nutritional options and health options (vitamins, protein shakes, diet eliminations, and acupuncture - which I would strongly recommend) that would increase my chances of getting pregnant.  https://natural-fertility-info.com/ is an excellent source of information.  This time around, I produced 14 eggs, had 10 embryos and 5 blastocysts.  Again, the blastocysts were PGD tested on Day 5-6 and all were found to be chromosomally abnormal.

After much soul-searching, I asked my doctor what he thought about my trying again.  He was honest with me.  He told me that I knew my odds from the beginning and the difficulty of achieving this but he could not tell me not to move forward with another retrieval because I responded well to the medications and reserve was not an issue for me.  There were two issues at hand: how much more was I willing to emotionally and physically undergo and cost.  Bottom line: it was my decision.  I decided that I needed a third try - either 3 strikes, I'm out or 3rd time is the charm.  At least I could say that I gave it my best shot.

When I decided to move forward with another retrieval, I also decided that the time had come to look at donor eggs as an alternative.  I pursued both options as parallel courses. Instead of waiting for a live donor, I went to myeggbank.com, the premiere supplier of donor eggs to fertility clinics around the country because the thought of wasting anymore time just pissed me off. I loved myeggbank experience. The benefits: less expensive - you don't have to pay for someone else's medications or adjust your fertility calendar to theirs or deal with the donor flake out that can happen even after the process has started.  Better yet, myeggbank.com provides the physiological and psychological profile of your selected donor - the same kind of information you would get from a live donor.     I even found and purchased my donor eggs while I was waiting for my retrieval. The woman who donated her eggs provided a picture of herself as a little girl.  I swear she looked like she could have been related to my family.  I took this as a sign that things were looking up.

For the third retrieval, my fertility doctor himself did the retrieval instead of his associates.  This time around, I produced 15 eggs, 9 embryos and 5 blastocysts. Normally, when I got bad news regarding the results, the call came in on Friday afternoon.  I would then call my husband, leave work, we would go for tequila shots and I could spend the better part of the weekend nursing my wounds.  This time the call came in on a Monday morning - the first day of my coming back from taking time off to prepare and recover from the retrieval.  I did not know how I was going to go through the day with bad news.  I took a breath, called my doctor and said "OK, lay it on me doc."  I could hear his happiness on the phone.  Out of 5 blastocysts, I had two chromosomally normal blastocysts in one family of blastocysts which is unheard of according to him.  I don't remember much of what I said to him except, "Be honest.  You didn't think it was going to work, did you?"  To which he happily replied, "No, I didn't but I've never been so happy to be wrong."  I had my transfer on November 12 and on November 21 found out that I was pregnant.  

I can't believe that was 7 months ago.  Since then, I have undergone every test imaginable that is associated with pregnancy - high risk pregnancies in particular.   It took everything I have to write this out - cautiousness on my part I suppose - but I wanted women to know that amidst the pain, tears and frustration, there is room for grace and miracles.  I thank God every day for my gift and pray for her safe delivery into this world.  I pray that grace with be all of you.

 

URMySunshine77

I am so happy for you and glad that you followed your dream. 

PrivateOne

Your story is so inspiring to me.  I just turned 44 last month and have not given up yet on having my own child.  Best of luck to you as you near the homestretch of pregnancy!

Also, I'm curious to know what protocols you did for your retrievals.

massiahl

@ PrivateOne:  Thank you for the well wishes.  They are very much appreciated.  As to my protocol, God, this seems so long ago but I will do my best to recall my protocol.  The first thing my doctor noticed was that my thyroid level was on the high end of the normal range. Apparently, research has associated higher thyroid levels with miscarriages so he placed me on low dose thyroid medication to bring it within the lower spectrum.  I am still on the medication.

When my period came, I went in for Day 3 testing of my baseline levels.  If the numbers were within range, I was then placed on birth control pills to give my ovaries a rest as well as allow the doctor to control my cycle.  After the completion of the birth control pill protocol, I was placed on Menupur (2 vials) and Follistim injections for about 8 days.  During my first retrieval cycle, I vacillated between a dosage of 250 and 225 IU of Follistim, once a day.  By my second and third cycles, I was using 300 IU of Follistim with Menupur, once a day.  At the appropriate blood levels, Ganarelix was added to the cocktail for a few days until it was time for me to use the trigger injection. 

While doing all of this, I was also taking my prenatal vitamins and supplements and was going to acupuncture and yoga sessions - anything that allowed me to feel like I was in control of some part of my life while going through this.  I hope this helps.

massiahl

@URMySunshine: Thank you!

Lady2010

I am so happy for you!  And your story gives me hope that one day it will work for us too.

Wishing you a wonderful 3rd trimester.  Congratulations!

massiahl

Thank you, Lady2010!  I wish you all the best on your journey.

Samuelismomma

Oh my lord! I so need this story . After 3 miscarriages in one yr , it's so nice to hear good news and have hope again! So happy for you!

massiahl

@ Samuelismomma: I'm sending a big mental hug to you!  I hope that all goes well for you as you move forward.   >:D<

One of the first things that I did was to be genetically tested.  Has your doctor made such a recommendation for you?  If not, I would ask him/her to refer you for genetic counseling so that you and your doctor have a complete picture of your genetic health and its implications on your reproductive health.  It was very simple. I filled out a survey that had every possible question about your family, ethnic and racial background, etc....  A genetic counselor then interviewed me and created a genetic tree for my husband and me. Finally, they drew blood.  I had my results in about 5-7 days depending on the lab. 

Mind you, the only reason why I did it was because of age-related concerns, not because of miscarriages.  It was through the genetic testing did I find out that I have an inversion in chromosome # 20.  This inversion can be passed down as a genetic trait or happen in utero.  In either case, this inversion makes the carrier susceptible to having eggs with chromosomal abnormalities and, therefore, an increased likelihood of having miscarriages.  Because of this knowledge, I knew that IVF was my only option and did not waste time trying to conceive naturally or using IUI.

This is a trying road and those of us who choose walk it are much stronger than we think. However, if you're going to march through hell, might as well have a road map.  Travel well!

Lesliem0901

@massiahl‌ - thank you for providing us hope by sharing your story. I am inspired! Congrats and Best wishes to you!

massiahl

Thank you for your well wishes, LeslieM0901!  All the best to you!

Radiantly

Thank you so much and congratulations!!

massiahl

Thank you, Radiantly!

Pintobean39

Thank you for your story. I'm going to start my first IVF in 2 weeks and I turn 40 next month. I've had 4 Mc's in the last year 2 were trisomy and we have done all genetic testing. Were doing PGD testing at 5 days and my protocol is the same as yours. I've been so worried that I'm not going to have any good eggs. I needed to hear a success story.

massiahl

@ Pintobean39: A big, internet hug to you!  >:D<  I wish you the best of luck with your IVF session and hope that everything works out for you and your family.  If you need any further information, please do not hesitate to ask.  As long as you react well to the medications (follicular development) and you can produce eggs, there is always a chance.  Check out the Natural Fertility Info website that I mentioned earlier.  I found it to be very helpful in terms of maintaining some sense of control over what was happening as well as doing positive things for my health and ultimately my fertility.  

fabumama

Thank you for sharing your story. It is very touching and inspiring.

massiahl

Thank you, fabumama!

massiahl

WARNING: BABY MENTIONED; SUCCESS AFTER IVF; SUCCESS AFTER 40

It has been some time since I've posted; however, I wanted to share some wonderful news and finish a conversation that I started close to two years ago.  On July 21, I welcomed a healthy, chromosomally-balanced baby girl into the world.  Her name is Leighton Abigail.  She is the less than 5% chance that my IVF physician and the statistics initially gave me.  She is the result of my following my gut and taking a chance while making every effort to remain realistic and pragmatic.

I encourage every woman who is taking this journey to keep their faith and do what is best for you and your families.  I pray for your success and thank you for the support shown to me along the way.  

:x

URMySunshine77

Congratulations!