Mother Vent!!!

bigbear

This woman really drives me crazy sometimes.

Yes, she's had it rough and she certainly deserves our (son and daughter) support and help when needed, which she also gets.

But she is now in this funk and has a mind frame : " I can't do it, you need to help me/do it for me"

There are many examples but here is the one that's driving me crazy in particular. My mom is incredibly crafty and can sew, knit, do apholstery, paint, draw, you name it! I did some research for her and told her she should try to sell that stuff on etsy. That was a year ago! She was in Cali at the time. She didn't know how to set it up so my brother helped her get going and posted a few articles on there and showed her how to do it going forward. She moved here in August and she was complaining how my brother just left her hanging and hasn't put any other product up on etsy. She's been bugging me to do it for her since.

Her English is not very good so I told her and showed her how to upload the pics and basic info and just save it as draft so that I can go in there and then just edit and publish. Weeks had gone by and she hadn't done anything with it. She also didn't find out how she would package the product, how much the shipping would be NOTHING.

Today again she is asking why I won't help her and put up all the stuff on Etsy and is blaming me that the xmas is almost here and she doesn't have anything posted on Etsy to sell. And yet when I'm showing her how to do it she won't listen or say "ya I know how to do that" then next time she is saying she doesn't know.

Long story short she wants me to do it all and has even said, "ok then you come here once a week and do this with me". I have a FT job, barely see my baby as it is and I'm not ready to sacrifice one day of the weekend to do this for her.

If she wants to run a business she has to do it. I can help but not do it for her.

Am I off here?!?!?

namara5532

No, you're in the right to not feel obligated to run her business for her.  If she really wants you to do it for her, you need to talk to her like a business partner and ask for part of the proceeds.  Either that or she needs to hire someone to do that for her.  Just because you're her daughter doesn't mean you're her personal assistant.

bigbear

namara5532:

No, you're in the right to not feel obligated to run her business for her.  If she really wants you to do it for her, you need to talk to her like a business partner and ask for part of the proceeds.  Either that or she needs to hire someone to do that for her.  Just because you're her daughter doesn't mean you're her personal assistant.

Thank you namara! Yeah, I love my mom and want to help her but her attitude is ridiculous and it has turned into "you do it for me or I'll be pis$ed".

She did say we could split the earnings but I don't want to do that. I don't want to have a business with her. She did the same thing when she wanted to open her restaurant/deli. She basically had decided should it work she'll cook and I'll run the books and quit my job. Umm, you can't just decide that for me and when I said I didn't want that she got mad.

Main problem with my mom is that she doesn't get the "I don't live at home anymore our family as in her, my brother and I are NOT my priority anymore. It is my daughter and my husband. Ugh, so frustrating.

Thank you I needed to let it out and it makes me feel better knowing I'm not in the wrong here.

kaybe24

I don't blame you for not wanting to help your mother.  My sister is a SAHM and has 2 young children and she only opens her shop at Christmas time because it is a lot of work and she has even sold items on Etsy for a few years.  Maybe your Mom could sell items at a local craft show or rent a booth at a craft mall. 

bigbear

LibraryChica:

kaybe24:

Maybe your Mom could sell items at a local craft show or rent a booth at a craft mall. 

This is a good idea -- it removes the tech stumbling blocks and allows her to interact with people. When my grandma "needed help" with everything it was because she was lonley. A craft fair or flea market booth may help alleviate that.

Yes, I agree! And I already have a few ideas. Fun part is, I have to research that, too HAHA. But don't mind the initial help to get things started, it's the maintenance that she needs to figure out.

Thanks ladies!