Single Parents

Visitation arrangements

I'm new to all this. My first baby is due in January and the father and I are not together. We are trying to have a good relationship for the sake of our son. He's a good man and he will be a part of our son's life. I'm just wondering what your visitation arrangements are like. I don't know what to expect with a newborn. I know there won't be any overnights for a couple of years. Even thinking about overnights breaks my heart. BD lives an hour away and works late most days, so I don't think he will be around at all during the week. What about weekends? How much time would he get? How old would DS be before BD could take him for the day? Are these things the court will decide or do I have any say?


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Re: Visitation arrangements

  • Consult with a lawyer.  

    As long as he pays his child support and isn't an obvious skid mark on society, he will get time with his child and he will get her over night. And it isn't for you to decide. That is for a judge to determine.

    What you want and feel is right may not exactly be the law which is why you need to consult with an attorney. 

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  • You can google your state and visitation guidelines.  There is in most states a minimum they go by and sometimes age thresholds.

    The PP is wrong.  No state is pay to play.  Even if he doesn't pay a dime in CS he still has rights to have parenting time with the child if he so chooses to exerise them.

    ANd sometimes even if he's a skid mark on society he has rights to parenting time.

    BUT the decision of rights is different in every state.

    In my state if the parents are not married, the father, even if he is on the birth certificate, doesn't get automatic rights he must sign an affidavit of paternity or a DNA test file and a judge will grant the rights.

    Also in most states CS=/= visitation so even if you are granted child support payments doesn't grant him automatic rights to custody or parenting time.

    Until a judge tells you, you are the sole parent of the child (if you are unmarried to the father) and it's at your descretion when and where and if visitation occurs in most states.  Keep in mind anything you agree to can and will be part of precedent so don't agree to anything you don't want to see become actually court ordered.

    If you are married, in most states it defaults to 50/50 legal custody and you need to work out in court who has residential custody (where the child lives)





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  • I kept a lawyer out of my life....I came to an agreement civilly (is that a word?) with my baby's father and we both liked the times.  He works late too...He comes over on Tues/Thurs from 6:30-9 every week (My baby's bedtime is at 9) and on Sunday afternoons, I have worked up enough trust to take the baby to his apartment at 1 and he brings him back to my house at 7 that night.  I think you'll find your time alone enjoyable.  I love my baby with all my heart, but that 1 to 7 is so relaxing.  Good luck!
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