Need Advice!!

tilsonc

I am 24 weeks with my first and found out my friends are planning me a shower in January. My family lives about 3 hours from where I live and where the shower will be. No family has mentioned anything about having a local shower. My friends that are hosting want to know how many people I want to invite so they can get the invites ordered. Is it still early or is it safe to assume I am not having a shower near my family and invite them to the friend shower? I don't want them to feel left out, but I don't want to seem "gift grabby" either. I travel for work and the Dr. asked me to not travel outside the city after week 35.

Liz4444

Ask your friends what the maximum amount of people they are wiling to host is. If they saw 20 and you have 15 friends and 20 family members, then the decision is made for you. If your friends just want to host a friends shower, they don't have to invite your family just because no one in your family has offered an you don't think you are going to have a family shower. The only appropriate family member to invite to a friends shower is your mother.

EastCoastBride

Could they be planning a surprise shower?  What I would do is talk to your mom, perhaps, and tell her that your friends are having a shower for you in your town and you're wondering who you should invite from the family.  Don't mention a famil yshower.  Just play it from a 3 hours is far to travel, you don't want to seem gift grabby, but yet you also don't want to upset anyone by not inviting them.

From this- your mom might say "Oh - a shower is being planned" - or... something to that effect.

However, while your friends asked for a list, at the same time, talk to them more about how many people THEY can afford to host.  They may be asking you for #'s, but thinking 10 people, but if yo uhand them a list of 35, it might be more than they cna handle.

526SadieSadie

Instead of naming a number for them, ask your friends how many people they are comfortable hosting.  Unless you find out differently, assume this is going to be your only shower and invite the most important people.  I wouldn't ask your family about their plans, that could come off as gift grabby.  Don't say anything to your friends about a potential family shower unless you know there's one in the works - that could imply that their gift to you isn't as important or special.

1026pumpkin

EastCoastBride:

Could they be planning a surprise shower?  What I would do is talk to your mom, perhaps, and tell her that your friends are having a shower for you in your town and you're wondering who you should invite from the family.  Don't mention a famil yshower.  Just play it from a 3 hours is far to travel, you don't want to seem gift grabby, but yet you also don't want to upset anyone by not inviting them.

From this- your mom might say "Oh - a shower is being planned" - or... something to that effect.

However, while your friends asked for a list, at the same time, talk to them more about how many people THEY can afford to host.  They may be asking you for #'s, but thinking 10 people, but if yo uhand them a list of 35, it might be more than they cna handle.

This!