Pregnant Alone....AGAIN! and Old, Cant forget OLD!

babyFIVEsMomma

This is my 5th baby, I'm 37 and after divorcing 6 years ago, it seems I'm extra fertile. Oldest child in college 19 yo my youngest is 2. New relationship and now, I'm due in June. I had a miscarriage August, got pregnant with this one in September. I'm in this by myself AGAIN. I just need to vent bcus I have noone to talk too...I'm so very unhappy at a time when I should feel blessed bcus not everyone can conceive. Any advice?

Tigger & pooh

Have you checked out the single parent board? They are very helpful and may be able to relate to your specific situation and give you great advice about custody orders and child support.

TX-Bride

Sounds like your recent pregnancies are unplanned, perhaps after this baby is born, you should talk to your dr and get on the pill.

ShellBear+

Many women conceive easily at your age so is its definitely not birth control. Sorry you have gotten into this situation and I hope you at least have family that can help you through. Good luck.

danieleandwayne

I agree with pps-- my first instinct is that there are a lot of gaps in your story. Divorced 6 years ago but your youngest is 2 yrs old? And now you're pregnant again? If you were not using birth control, then that was just foolish and irresponsible. If you WERE using birth control, it's time to consider something more effective than whatever you were using-- I know people can get pregnant on the pill, but the IUD or even getting your tubes tied might be the best option.

Right now, it sounds like you're set on having this baby. So, time to suck it up and start getting down to planning the best way to do that alone-- time to gather the troops (your kids, your family, your friends) and your other resources. You've already raised a bunch of kids, so this is not new to you. You know how to do this. 

lisamonkee11

Wow - you ladies are harsh. Most women come here for support and you ripping the OP down for expressing her anxieties is just plan mean. 

OP - I wish you the best & hope you find the support you deserve because you apparently aren't going to find it here. 

lovelyday39

lisamonkee11:

Wow - you ladies are harsh. Most women come here for support and you ripping the OP down for expressing her anxieties is just plan mean. 

OP - I wish you the best & hope you find the support you deserve because you apparently aren't going to find it here. 

I don't think they are harsh at all, just telling the truth.

kat1221

lovelyday39:

lisamonkee11:

Wow - you ladies are harsh. Most women come here for support and you ripping the OP down for expressing her anxieties is just plan mean. 

OP - I wish you the best & hope you find the support you deserve because you apparently aren't going to find it here. 

I don't think they are harsh at all, just telling the truth.

 

For Realz!  If you think this is harsh, check out some of the tri boards.  This is just honesty my friend.

danieleandwayne

kat1221:

lovelyday39:

lisamonkee11:

Wow - you ladies are harsh. Most women come here for support and you ripping the OP down for expressing her anxieties is just plan mean. 

OP - I wish you the best & hope you find the support you deserve because you apparently aren't going to find it here. 

I don't think they are harsh at all, just telling the truth.

 

For Realz!  If you think this is harsh, check out some of the tri boards.  This is just honesty my friend.

Not to mention, there are a lot of us who came from the TTC > 35 and/or IF and/or TTCAL boards-- and it drives me personally insane when people take getting pregnant, esp. unplanned, that lightly. The OP didn't seem all that concerned about getting pregnant, quite frankly, from the tone and content of her OP.

MamaKitty3

Truth is a double edged sword and cuts very easily.  And it is not a matter of whether a person can handle the truth.  Just because others are more harsh in dealing out their "truths" does not make it right.  My DH is outspoken and all about the truth and I have to remind him, that telling someone his brand of truth is rude.  I know all about the truth.  When I want to hurt someone and be a real B****, I use the truth because it is so much more painful.  Just saying.  Yes, I agree, the OP seems to have a messy life and no need to coddle her but there is no reason to point out the mistakes she surely already knows she is making.  Some may have such low self esteem that finding a way out of their life is not easy because no one offered them good and useful advice.  She wanted support and she got bashing because she just happens to get pregnant a lot.  Maybe she cannot afford BC because the only one that works is hundreds of dollars.  You don't know her or her truths.  And kudos to all of you from the IF and TTC boards for having a baby but it does not make you better because you tried harder than others.  It just means you had different obstacles. The OP is concerned about being pregnant but that isn't what her thread was about.  It wasn't about "Ooops, I did it again!" It was about, I trusted someone once more and I got screwed and now I have to pick myself up and try again. Could I please have reaffirmation that the world is still a kind place so I can maybe get stronger this time around."  I am amazed how people think it is okay to be harsh and judgmental and stand behind "Well, I am just telling it like it is."  Are you?  I am no wiser or better than the rest but You don't know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes.

lovelyday39

MamaKitty3:

Truth is a double edged sword and cuts very easily.  And it is not a matter of whether a person can handle the truth.  Just because others are more harsh in dealing out their "truths" does not make it right.  My DH is outspoken and all about the truth and I have to remind him, that telling someone his brand of truth is rude.  I know all about the truth.  When I want to hurt someone and be a real B****, I use the truth because it is so much more painful.  Just saying.  Yes, I agree, the OP seems to have a messy life and no need to coddle her but there is no reason to point out the mistakes she surely already knows she is making.  Some may have such low self esteem that finding a way out of their life is not easy because no one offered them good and useful advice.  She wanted support and she got bashing because she just happens to get pregnant a lot.  Maybe she cannot afford BC because the only one that works is hundreds of dollars.  You don't know her or her truths.  And kudos to all of you from the IF and TTC boards for having a baby but it does not make you better because you tried harder than others.  It just means you had different obstacles. The OP is concerned about being pregnant but that isn't what her thread was about.  It wasn't about "Ooops, I did it again!" It was about, I trusted someone once more and I got screwed and now I have to pick myself up and try again. Could I please have reaffirmation that the world is still a kind place so I can maybe get stronger this time around."  I am amazed how people think it is okay to be harsh and judgmental and stand behind "Well, I am just telling it like it is."  Are you?  I am no wiser or better than the rest but You don't know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Aaaaaand it's not your job to be sanctimommy and tell everyone else how to act. I'm amazed at people who think they "know best" and proceed to tell everyone how to be. Apparently you do think you're wiser or you wouldn't have posted this. I think this annoys me more than the OP's post.

kat1221

lovelyday39:

MamaKitty3:

Truth is a double edged sword and cuts very easily.  And it is not a matter of whether a person can handle the truth.  Just because others are more harsh in dealing out their "truths" does not make it right.  My DH is outspoken and all about the truth and I have to remind him, that telling someone his brand of truth is rude.  I know all about the truth.  When I want to hurt someone and be a real B****, I use the truth because it is so much more painful.  Just saying.  Yes, I agree, the OP seems to have a messy life and no need to coddle her but there is no reason to point out the mistakes she surely already knows she is making.  Some may have such low self esteem that finding a way out of their life is not easy because no one offered them good and useful advice.  She wanted support and she got bashing because she just happens to get pregnant a lot.  Maybe she cannot afford BC because the only one that works is hundreds of dollars.  You don't know her or her truths.  And kudos to all of you from the IF and TTC boards for having a baby but it does not make you better because you tried harder than others.  It just means you had different obstacles. The OP is concerned about being pregnant but that isn't what her thread was about.  It wasn't about "Ooops, I did it again!" It was about, I trusted someone once more and I got screwed and now I have to pick myself up and try again. Could I please have reaffirmation that the world is still a kind place so I can maybe get stronger this time around."  I am amazed how people think it is okay to be harsh and judgmental and stand behind "Well, I am just telling it like it is."  Are you?  I am no wiser or better than the rest but You don't know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Aaaaaand it's not your job to be sanctimommy and tell everyone else how to act. I'm amazed at people who think they "know best" and proceed to tell everyone how to be. Apparently you do think you're wiser or you wouldn't have posted this. I think this annoys me more than the OP's post.

Me too!

 

MamaKitty3

*laughs and laughs and laughs*

Wasn't that what you were doing when you were telling it like it is, being a what was that, so cute...sanctimommy? You must truly know best.  No it is not my job but...I guess I am just telling it like it is. Wisdom is relative but if you must find justification for yourself...meh, we all do that because....OMG!  we are not perfect.  And yes, the truth is annoying.

lovelyday39

MamaKitty3:

*laughs and laughs and laughs*

Wasn't that what you were doing when you were telling it like it is, being a what was that, so cute...sanctimommy? You must truly know best.  No it is not my job but...I guess I am just telling it like it is. Wisdom is relative but if you must find justification for yourself...meh, we all do that because....OMG!  we are not perfect.  And yes, the truth is annoying.

Do you feel better after your know-it-all-drive-by-white-knighting? Good, glad we could help get that out of your system.

MamaKitty3

Truthfully? Yes, yes I do.

 

ntvenson

Mama Kity

danieleandwayne

Oh my god-- are we in 8th grade again?

Seriously, the OP has 5 kids already. 5. It's not like one kid and then she accidentally got pregnant. In fact, it's not even like she accidentally got pregnant once. She did it TWICE. After the first time, wouldn't you have learned that your partner was not into having babies? And you know what? I don't think most of the responses were that rude or hurtful. They were full of shock and surprise, I thought. A sort of "how did you not get this?" tone. Pretty much the same thought I had when a coworker-- who used to be a maternity nurse for pete's sake!-- got pregnant "by accident." Not to even mention that when I was 15, I knew that what I could afford less than birth control was a freaking child. That's what Planned Parenthoods are for. You can get a wide variety of birth control options for almost nothing. Also, the rhythm method is pretty cheap-- the cost of a thermometer and a pen and paper.

The OP also has NEVER posted on anything here. When I learned I was pregnant, I checked out some posts, I introduced myself properly, and then I made a point of chiming in with some "yay!" posts to celebrate with people before I started asking for advice and looking for support and sympathy. That's just social skills 101.

Lastly, despite how amusing/witty the "Sanctimommy" term is (and it totally is), if you can't take it, then don't dish it out. I have had a couple reality checks from the women on this board back when we were on TTC > 35 and as awkward as they made me feel, I'm better for it. And I don't hold it against the women because I'm an adult and I can choose whose advice to heed and whom to ignore. Plus, I have some real-life friends I can rely on as well-- and trust not to blab the news to anyone before I'm ready for others to know.

So can we just all pull up our big girl britches and acknowledge the fact that OP didn't exactly intro herself well/in the best light and hasn't contributed at all to anyone else's posts and needs to figure out how to better deal with that? Last I check, she was an adult.

(My apologies for not having a swanky picture meme/video to include with my post. I am lacking in style, but I don't really give 2 hot damns.)

lovelyday39

danieleandwayne:

Oh my god-- are we in 8th grade again?

Seriously, the OP has 5 kids already. 5. It's not like one kid and then she accidentally got pregnant. In fact, it's not even like she accidentally got pregnant once. She did it TWICE. After the first time, wouldn't you have learned that your partner was not into having babies? And you know what? I don't think most of the responses were that rude or hurtful. They were full of shock and surprise, I thought. A sort of "how did you not get this?" tone. Pretty much the same thought I had when a coworker-- who used to be a maternity nurse for pete's sake!-- got pregnant "by accident." Not to even mention that when I was 15, I knew that what I could afford less than birth control was a freaking child. That's what Planned Parenthoods are for. You can get a wide variety of birth control options for almost nothing. Also, the rhythm method is pretty cheap-- the cost of a thermometer and a pen and paper.

The OP also has NEVER posted on anything here. When I learned I was pregnant, I checked out some posts, I introduced myself properly, and then I made a point of chiming in with some "yay!" posts to celebrate with people before I started asking for advice and looking for support and sympathy. That's just social skills 101.

Lastly, despite how amusing/witty the "Sanctimommy" term is (and it totally is), if you can't take it, then don't dish it out. I have had a couple reality checks from the women on this board back when we were on TTC > 35 and as awkward as they made me feel, I'm better for it. And I don't hold it against the women because I'm an adult and I can choose whose advice to heed and whom to ignore. Plus, I have some real-life friends I can rely on as well-- and trust not to blab the news to anyone before I'm ready for others to know.

So can we just all pull up our big girl britches and acknowledge the fact that OP didn't exactly intro herself well/in the best light and hasn't contributed at all to anyone else's posts and needs to figure out how to better deal with that? Last I check, she was an adult.

(My apologies for not having a swanky picture meme/video to include with my post. I am lacking in style, but I don't really give 2 hot damns.)

I've got your pic for you-

sknygrydg07

I don't know any details of your marriage and divorce, but number one you are NOT a VICTIM as the wording of you post asserts.  This is a result of YOUR CHOICES - and you've chosen to see them in a negative light, and then to invite others to your pity party.

I'm curious how many of these 5 children were with your ex-husband, and how many came along after (or before)?  You may have male approval issues (which I had in my 20's) that lead to some types of nymphomania.  The correction for that is to know that you have MORE to offer the world than your SEX.  You don't have to 'give it to them' to make them like you - a man worthy of your attentions will want your company as much or MORE than your body.

You're alone by choice - if you stop complaining about your situation and start taking on some responsibility for your actions, I'm sure there are so many people who would be very happy to help you - including women on these message boards, and your kids!

kat1221

lovelyday39:

danieleandwayne:

Oh my god-- are we in 8th grade again?

Seriously, the OP has 5 kids already. 5. It's not like one kid and then she accidentally got pregnant. In fact, it's not even like she accidentally got pregnant once. She did it TWICE. After the first time, wouldn't you have learned that your partner was not into having babies? And you know what? I don't think most of the responses were that rude or hurtful. They were full of shock and surprise, I thought. A sort of "how did you not get this?" tone. Pretty much the same thought I had when a coworker-- who used to be a maternity nurse for pete's sake!-- got pregnant "by accident." Not to even mention that when I was 15, I knew that what I could afford less than birth control was a freaking child. That's what Planned Parenthoods are for. You can get a wide variety of birth control options for almost nothing. Also, the rhythm method is pretty cheap-- the cost of a thermometer and a pen and paper.

The OP also has NEVER posted on anything here. When I learned I was pregnant, I checked out some posts, I introduced myself properly, and then I made a point of chiming in with some "yay!" posts to celebrate with people before I started asking for advice and looking for support and sympathy. That's just social skills 101.

Lastly, despite how amusing/witty the "Sanctimommy" term is (and it totally is), if you can't take it, then don't dish it out. I have had a couple reality checks from the women on this board back when we were on TTC > 35 and as awkward as they made me feel, I'm better for it. And I don't hold it against the women because I'm an adult and I can choose whose advice to heed and whom to ignore. Plus, I have some real-life friends I can rely on as well-- and trust not to blab the news to anyone before I'm ready for others to know.

So can we just all pull up our big girl britches and acknowledge the fact that OP didn't exactly intro herself well/in the best light and hasn't contributed at all to anyone else's posts and needs to figure out how to better deal with that? Last I check, she was an adult.

(My apologies for not having a swanky picture meme/video to include with my post. I am lacking in style, but I don't really give 2 hot damns.)

I've got your pic for you-

 

LOVE!!

Baqiara

I want to send you my support, I am 36, alone and having my third child. I shouldn't say alone because I have family and friends who support. My advice for you would be to contine to pray and lean on those who are there to support you. The people who are commenting are harsh and it just their opinions, you can choose to read it or not. This child is a blessing as all your children are. My GOD bless and keep you.