Hands off my Bump!

shellyamf

Okay ladies, a little advice would be much appreciated.  I've only had two people walk up to me to be all touchy feely with my bump without asking.  They would be my MIL and SIL.  Aside from stepping back or putting my hand down on my belly to block contact, I'm not sure what to do or say.  I don't want to start any drama with them, but it bothers me that they don't ask.  When my SIL was pregnant I never touched her belly without asking.  To me it's a personal space thing.

I've thought about getting a shirt that says "If you didn't put the baby in there and if you aren't taking it out, keep your hands off".  I'm not sure if this is too passive aggressive.  It'd probably just be easier to say something.  I'm just not sure what to say without sounding too b*tchy.  So what would you say?   What have you said?  Or should I just get the shirt?  Or should I just suck it up??

Crequito

I'm the same way, even with my own mother.  I'm only 21 weeks so it's not like they can feel the baby kick anyway!  I've just been blunt and said please don't touch me, it makes me uncomfortable and I've told them that once the baby's movements are able to be felt from the outside I'll lt them know and invite them to touch.  Sometimes it pays to be up front and honest.  Enlist the help of your husband/baby's father.  Make sure he understands your reasons and is on your side - he can help be a buffer with your MIL and SIL.

NovOwl

I recently went to my 10 year high school reunion, and I was shocked at the people rubbing my belly!  Girls and guys!  I hadn't seen some of these people in 10 years.... it was weird.  I started rubbing some of the men's bellies in return.    I'm not overly worried about it, but it is sometimes awkward.  Everyone was so happy and positive about it though I didn't really mind.

Sparkles01

Your response is definitely too passive aggressive...I like the rubbing their bellies response haha.  If you don't see them regularly I would probably let it slide, but if you do see them often maybe you could just say something like, "Oh the baby's not moving right now- I'll let you know when he/she does!"

SQuaid

I am struggling with this as well.  The last time I was pregnant, I was much more grumpy so I put up a sign at work that said "don't poke the bear".  People got the message. My husband said to just let it go and be nice but I hate being "rubbed"

asibilrud

As PP said, if you don't see them too often I'd leave it alone. Although I DO think its rude, just realize that they don't mean anything by it. If you see them often, I'd ask your hubby what he thinks.

VPGIRL06

I agree with a PP, that said to "let me them know that the baby isn't kicking right now".  It won't hurt feelings (hopefully) and it'll have them keep their distance.

I HATE bump touching too, so I completely understand. My mom doesn't even do it (she's the exact same way-she hated when people touched her when she was pregnant with me) but my step mother DOES IT CONSTANTLY. CONSTANTLY. She talks to the baby (which is fine...but when it's ALL THE TIME it drives me insane) and rubs my belly-since 12 weeks!! I didn't even start having a "bump" until maybe 2-3 weeks ago...it was all my pudge being shoved to the surface.  And theres a woman at work I have no interaction with whatsoever, but she rubs my belly and talks to my stomach.  bothers me SO MUCH.  ESP because it's still close enough to my body that they're in my "bubble"...

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shellyamf

Bliss+Berry:

If it bothers you that much, speak up and be a grown up about it.  There's no reason to be bitchy or cause drama, either.  "You can say, I'm feeling hot and claustrophobic and the belly touching is kind of getting to me.  If the baby moves when you're around, I'll make sure you get to feel it."  Or something along those lines.  

Some people are touchy-feely types and may not realize they are bothering you. My family is huge, Irish and everyone is like that.  

 

Umm, I haven't been bitchy or causing drama.  Hence the reason for this post.  My SIL is definitely not the touchy-feely type and has admitted this herself before.   She has problems hugging people, even her own siblings.

I do see DH's side of the family at least once a month.  With the holidays coming up it's turning into a weekly get-together with them.  Thank you to the poster who suggested  the movement comment.  I believe this will work well.  I just wasn't exactly sure how to word my comment.  I also like the previous poster who rubbed the men's bellies back.  I might have to keep that one on the back burner just in case.  Hopefully it would spark a laugh or two. 

kfarmer92

My mom is the same way! I understand if I invite you to come touch my belly, but other than that, no. And to make it worse, she likes to talk to my belly which isnt that bad but she gets SUPER close to my belly and its all hot breath, ugh. And as if it couldn't get worse, she pulls my shirt up to talk to LO! Im like uhhh rude! Yesterday I pulled my shirt down and when that didnt work I ended up pushing her head away. She called me rude but didn't even realize that she was being rude af!

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horsevaulter

I love the baby is not kicking right now comment as well! I am so shocked by all the people at work that don't even know me well who keep touching my belly! It drives me crazy and I am definitley going to try that phraze next time it happens!!

jvaeth2012

I work in a veterinary hospital and googled funny maternity shirts. One of them read, "I don't have fur, Don't pet me!!!!"

 

astarisborn

I don't get this that often, but when I do - I don't like it.  I don't think that I have ever come over to even a family member and rubbed their bellies.  I know that some individuals can't help it, but I would think that putting your hand their to block isn't rude - just kind of gives a subtle hint!

RoseSnocker

I say get the shirt, and stand your ground. All people that come into contact with your belly should have consent, it's just common courtesy. The shirt sounds hilarious and if your personality is as comedic and shall we say 'snarky' as the shirt, then your friends and family should understand. I do think that both sides of this belly touching (you and the offenders) should lighten up a little bit because the offenders only have good intentions and you're a mom to be who should live every day with kindness and patience

jglenn4

I thought I would really be bothered by it but believe it or not I find it sweet.  Everyone from people at the gym to my doormen want to touch it.  Some just go in and others start to go in and hesitate and I say it's okay.  I find it endearing because I think people are so happy for me.

Since it bothers you, however, just say something.  If people are offended, so what.   I know it can be a bit more touchy with family, but I think simply telling them it makes you uncomfortable is the best thing to do.  Passive aggressive doesn't always work and they may think the shirt is just a joke or meant for strangers.