Needing opinions to make the switch

LoveGoober

Good morning ladies,

 

I just found out last week that I'm expecting in July, my first.  I've been lightly researching natural birth for about year and half now, after becoming very close friends with a doula, then owners of a new birth center where I live.  

My heart says I want to use this free standing birth center and have a natural birth for my first.  I want that experience and I believe I was made to do it.  In my circle of friends/coworkers/acquaintances, natural birth is not exactly a popular thing.  Most women get induced and go the "normal" way via ob/hospital.  

I've briefly discussed this with my husband who initially said "I think for our first, we should go the hospital route," but has also said it's my decision.  He asked if I could talk with moms who have done both, had that hospital experience (bad or good) and switched to birth center or home birth.  I'm also talking with the birth center and insurance to compare numbers.  As well as trying to contact the hospital for birth stats.  

Any advice/stories are much appreciated.  

vintagejjane

We thought we would go to a hospital with our first and still try and go natural. My ob however gave me the complete side eye when I said natural at my first appointment at 10 weeks. So we researched our options, watched BOBB, read articles, books, and met with my home birth midwife. I'd say meeting with my MW was the final straw in deciding to choose a home birth. I was so comfortable with her and she answered all my questions without hesitation. I don't regret having a home birth one bit. 

I'd say talk with your OB, but bring your husband with. Then talk with a BC midwife and a HB midwife with your husband. Then the two of you can decide what is comfortable for the both of you. 

knirish1

I'm not sure where you live, but where I am there is a hospital that has a birth center inside of it. The birth center is separate and does not have the same protocols as labor and delivery.Should you need medical intervention, however, you are only one floor away. I choose my OB based upon the fact that she was part of this hospital and encouraged using the birth center. She is still an MD so there were no evil eye looks from others about using a midwife, but because she is part of the birth center system, she encourages and respects your wishes to have a natural childbirth. For us, it was the perfect solution.

sbevmc09

I would do more research and include your husband in that research. 

I can say that I had toyed with the idea of a homebirth last time (for my first) and despite researching the subject decided that we'd go the hospital route for our first and it didn't go well.  I wish I had done a lot of things differently last time.  This time I'll be at the hospital again, but as a hopeful VBAC.  

And that's not to say that everyone has a bad experience, but just that the choices you make have far reaching impacts so make them carefully! 

GL!  

mAnYaSha

I do not think DH would ever agree to home birth with DS #1. Our homebirth with DS#2 was amazing, so if he had another one, I am sure DH would agree to homebirth again.

But, first time can be scary and men tend to feel safer in a hospital. Your best bet might be birth center, potentially really close to a hospital.

LoveGoober

sbevmc09 and mAnYaSha, you have pms. well not pms...

Thanks everyone.  I just got word back from the bc, that a birth at their facility may cost me more vs a natural birth at the local hospital.  is that normal?

 and the bc is freestanding, but right across the road from the hospital, which I really like.  I'm honestly not thinking of home birth, but definitely in the bc.  

 

abell77

I've had two very positive natural births in a hospital, but it is a very natural birth friendly hospital, so in many ways my experience was similar to a birth center.  Hospitals do vary, so it depends on what they are like in your area.  I drove nearly an hour to be at this particular hospital that I felt most comfortable at, so think beyond your closest local hospital to see what options might be available to you.  

KateLouise

Could you work with a MW within the hospital? 

I'm in NZ, and here most women work with a MW, regardless of whether they birth in a hospital or elsewhere. 

I had a great natural birth in a hospital, but it really depends on how natural friendly the hospital is and your care provider is. (I also had a great natural birth at home, but it wasn't planned and it's a whole other story, and your DH possibly doesn't want to know about what it would be like for him to deliver a baby on his own :-) 

Could you investigate your hospital and find out some stats. 

If your hospital/OB has really high c-section rates for example, your DH might be more agreeable to a birth centre (especially if it's just across the road), although he might need educating on how a c-section is major surgery.

Good luck. 

starshineamator

First of all, I'd suggest not talking about your birth plan with your "circle" if they are going to give you a hard time. One of the first things my aunt (who is a nurse and has 5 kids) said to me when I told her I was pregnant was "now, you aren't going to do any weird sh!t are you?" and when I asked what she meant by that, she said "I don't know, they do weird sh!t out there (I live in CA, they are in New England); just go to the hospital and do what they say." I totally laughed it off without an answer.

At this point, the only person I've actually had a discussion about it with is Spouse, and he was totally against a natural/at home/birth center birth in the beginning, but has since changed his mind. I watched "the Business of Being Born" documentary, while he was sitting on the couch next to me on the laptop. I didn't ask him to watch it with me or force him to pay attention, he just did. Make his snarky comments, but I didn't respond, and about halfway through, he was doing his own research. By the end of the film, he had found a midwife service for us to go check out an information session with. I'm so grateful that we are on the same page now. He's terrified of things going wrong which is why he wanted us to be in the hospital; plus, he's a scientist, so medicine makes sense to him. But he's realized that it isn't what's best for me and the baby. 

I did tell my best friend our plan, after the info session, and she actually said she had planned on going the midwife route when she gets pregnant. We had never talked about it before and apparently, we think the exact same things about it!

So I have Spouse and the bff, and I don't plan to inform anyone else until after the birth of what we did. My mom will probably need to know when it gets closer because she plans to fly out here and stay with us for like a month, so there may be no way to avoid that, but it will be far too late for her to protest much. Making the decision that is right for you and your family is of the utmost importance, and I don't think having nay-sayers is worth the stress, especially if you've actually done your research and know what you're talking about. Other than my aunt, I haven't had anybody ask me what my plan is, because they just assume we'll do it the "normal" way - though my mom did ask me to not completely rule out an epidural, but that was way back when before I even got Spouse on board, and she hasn't said anything since. 

Best of luck to you with whatever you decide! Check out that documentary- it is very informative and really helped get Spouse on board. You can find it on Netflix instant, if you have that.  

stacia_faye

I'm a first time mom and I just made my choice. I had to write down exactly what I did and didn't want. I knew I was not comfortable with a home birth, but I do not want to be induced or receive pain medication. I knew I do want a water birth. So after some calls to the insurance company and hospital, I decided to go with a birthing center inside a hospital. They do water birth, have nurse midwives, and are supportive of natural birth choices. But if anything goes wrong, I will already be in the hospital.