Forbidden To Stop?

mollyxcate

Anyone else being forbidden to stop having babies by their families?

DH and I only want one. Well my M and MIL tell me I "can't" just have one.

Well guess what? I'll take my damn sweet time having another... Maybe forever. Humph!

kokokat

I've had friends and co-workers tell me this.  Uh, what?  How is this your business?But apparently, now that we have one, we CAN'T subject him to being an only child.  Well, guess what, I had a stressful, painful pregnancy, didn't really enjoy giving birth, and LO has been demanding and quite the challenging baby since almost the beginning.  I honestly don't know if I could do this again, even though I love my little guy to pieces.  DH and I are just taking one day at a time right now.  People will never just mind their own business!

JayandEmm

Luckily, my parents and MIL are supportive of us being one and done. (H and I are both only children.) Some of our friends and family, on the other hand, are always giving us the "you'll change your mind" speech. And guilt tripping us by telling us ds will be alone when we die.

thepretzelchick

At the moment we're leaning toward one and done. Honestly, we weren't planning to have any but Elijah took us by surprise. My brother and his wife have only one and probably will have only one and my nephew is neither a spoiled brat nor antisocial. My parents are supportive of whatever we plan, but DH's family is already hinting about the next one...my ILs already have 14 grandchildren. In their defense, their second oldest grandkid was an only child for seven years and is the stereotypical spoiled, undisciplined, mouthy brat, so I think they're hoping Elijah doesn't turn out that way.

ETA: TBH, though, my brother and I are best friends and it made being military brats, and losing friends because of moving so much, a lot easier. No matter what, we always had each other. It's something I think about whenever I contemplate having another baby or not.

kemps10

Wow.  Are these people willing to pay for all the costs involved with having another child too??  Geez....

Yeah, I've been pricing out child care today and am feeling pretty cynical.

Reilly626

We get the opposite but we were blessed with boy girl twins. Everyone says how perfect youre done! as if they chose for me and twins are tough! If I had just one that would be it after what I went through. Pregnancy was very tough. And this no sleep is tough! We say now we wouldn't throw the dice now at our age. But if I were younger I may have been tempted. You all stick to your beliefs, as an educator only children are the most self adjusted out there! One and done is very popular here on the east coast.

babyike

The opposite actually, but only by DH's dad.  When we told my FIL that we were expecting last November, his initial reaction was a look of shock/awe followed by a crappy comment, "Well, I just CANNOT believe you're pregnant again.  Why would you plan this so soon?"  Very judgey at first until DH set him straight.  Lame.

But I'd say your M and MIL's comments are just as crappy.  It's not their vagina, not their choice.  Period.  The End.  You should absolutely take your sweetasstime.  If you decide you're one and done, then your M and MIL can just deal. 

xxbabycakesxx

After G was born I told everyone I was done. They all told me I had to have at least one more so G would have a sibling. Even my mom was all just you wait. And then when G was 11 months we conceived B lol.

krissi813

When people ask how many children me and DH plan to have, I always say we are good with just one right now. Everyone looks at me like I'm crazy and says that we have to have at least one more. I'm certainly not ready for another at this point and I love being able to give DS all my attention.

And let me just say that it is refreshing to see that there are other women on this board that are not ready for another just yet. I always feel like a bad mom when everyone is all, "I love this and I can't wait for another." I am enjoying my son fit now and another is a distant possibility. 

SpruceGrouse

We might be one and done. I told my Mom and she said hat there is nothing wrong with only wanting one. I'm glad we have that support. DH is certain he doesn't want any more. I still feel like I want another but I can see the benefit of one but I loved having a sister growing up.

After having DS lots of women would see me out with him and tell me that I will think I will never go through that again but just wait and I will want more.

I wish there was a one and done board I could lurk on.

yvdukana

kokokat:

I've had friends and co-workers tell me this.  Uh, what?  How is this your business?But apparently, now that we have one, we CAN'T subject him to being an only child.  Well, guess what, I had a stressful, painful pregnancy, didn't really enjoy giving birth, and LO has been demanding and quite the challenging baby since almost the beginning.  I honestly don't know if I could do this again, even though I love my little guy to pieces.  DH and I are just taking one day at a time right now.  People will never just mind their own business!

This! Except I had a relatively easy pregnancy, but LO is a very demanding, challenging, difficult baby. At this point I'm really not sure I could do this all again. I may change my mind, but for right now I'm good with just having one.  

SpruceGrouse

elismee:

My IL's started talking about how DD needed a brother before she was even born!  Even recently MIL commented about us needing to have another.  I asked her why.  After just staring at me a few moments she said some bs about how kids making life worth living blah blah.  Yes, I love my daughter dearly, but I didn't hate my life before having her.  DH and I are open to having another, but not anytime soon.  What pissed me off the most was after her stupid comment on why we needed to have more kids she said she felt sorry for people who don't have kids.  I have several friends who have chosen with their husbands to not have kids and not because they medically can't.  They constantly have to defend their choice.  It's not anyone's business how many kids someone has.  Ugh, drives me nuts.

It bothers me when people say you don't have a meaningful life without kids. I know several couples that chose not to have them and they are very happy, how is it anyone's buisness anyway.  We considered not having any and having a lot of horses instead but I knew that I really wanted a child. The child free life has lots of benefits for those that choose that lifestyle.