first RE appt today (long)

EKGibs

needless to say, I have cried all day. I cried in the dr's office, Longhorn Steakhouse, JCPenney, Kirklands & pretty much the whole way home. the dr basically told me that with my history of endo, the surgery & the fact that my one & only pregnancy in 5 1/2 years was ectopic, that the chances of having a normal pregnancy on our own is highly unlikely. they took blood to run tests & next cycle we will run CD3 blood work & do an ultrasound to see how many follicles I have. We are also going to do another HSG b/c the last one was a few years ago & my tubes were clear but a lot has happened since then. if my tubes are clear then we can do IUI, however, the dr is afraid of the risks of another ectopic. IVF is probably going to be our best bet but financially that is not an option right now.

 I just feel very defeated right now. I'm really missing my baby just as bad as when my loss was fresh. I'm feeling bad b/c I'm afraid that I will never be able to give my DH a little boy or a daddy's girl. someone asked my SIL when we were going to have kids the other day b/c they saw DH with my neice & nephew & noticed how good he is with them & mentioned how he would be a good daddy. I'm also feeling very bitter which I havent felt in a while. the reality of never concieving my own child is a possibility & I'm angry about it. I'm sorry this got long & I had a pity party but this is the only place that I can talk about this without becoming a blubbering mess. I wouldn't be able to deal without all of you ladies.

DebateThis

I'm so sorry. I hope your HSG gives you good news and that IUI will be an option for you. Huge, huge hugs.

pkaren

I'm so sorry. I really hope the HSG goes well and shows clear tubes. Do you think it might be worth a second opinion? I just wonder if he's pushing the IVF bc the dr will make more money? I could be totally off base, I'm not American and I'm not sure how your insurance works. I know it must have been a huge blow to hear that today. Biggest HUGS.

twotexans

((((Big Hugs))))

I hope your HSG reveals clear tubes, and IUI is an option for you.  I understand the financial restraints when it comes to IVF.  We are facing them ourselves, and it sucks.

KGS2003

((Hugs)) I am so sorry you are having to deal with that kind of news.  I hope the HSG reveals clear tubes so the you can have some options.  No matter what we are here for you. 

katharine25

((( Hugs )))

Many hopes the tests bring some clarity & hope for you!

EKGibs

Thanks ladies. I'm at the stage right now that I'm feeling very bitter. Why does it have to be so freaking hard to do something thats supposed to come so natural!?

Laurakat81

Ugh, I'm so sorry. I hate this for you. Praying hard that test results come back better than expected. ((((hugs))))

lsuhoneybadger

Oh EK, I'm so sorry. I really hope the HSG shows everything to be clear and that the IUI works for you. Big (((hugs))))

LSzwaya

I am sorry. Waiting is the worst but I hope the HSG has better news than you expect. Big hugs!

CNYBride05

Huge huge hugs

I hope your HSG leads to good news, putting IUI on the table. I hear ya on the feeling bitter and angry fertility struggles are a total mindfck.

Vent away that's what the board is here for.

hungryhippo

Huge, warm hugs. I'm so incredibly sorry you got that news. I hope you can find a way to get to IVF sooner rather than later.

klbowie

EKGibs, I am so so sorry about this news.  I cannot imagine how you are feeling.  I hope the HSG comes back with clear tubes and you can do IUI.  I am sending you tons of positive vibes.  

EKGibs

thank you all for the good vibes & sweet words. I wouldn't have made it through all of this if it weren't for this board & you wonderful ladies. ((((((hugs))))))

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