Question about hostesses/Gifts

MommyMeg123

My shower is in a few weeks & from what I originally gathered four of my friends are hosting it together. However, only two of them have been contacting me to get information regarding guests, registry, cake preferences, etc. Anytime the shower is mentioned around the others they always say "I don't think we really have it planned yet" or "Yeah, I think we're behind on planning"- something along those lines. So, to me, it just seems as though the first 2 friends are really the ones actively planning & the other 2 are just tagging along & are going to show up. My question would be, how do I find out if I do indeed have four hostesses or two? I want to get them nice gifts, but if only 2 of them are doing all the work then I want them to feel appreciated & not just lumped with those that really didn't help. Does this make any sense? If you have any suggestions at all it would be helpful. Thanks!

denison2

I say when the invitations go out, you look at whose names they put on the invitation as the hostess...My mom and I are hosting a shower this weekend and we were supposed to have a 3rd host...(who told the MTB she wanted to host with us and never responded to our communications to her) and we didn't put her name on the invite as a hostess because she never offered to do anything. If all 4 friends are on the invite, treat them all the same, at least the day of the shower. 

 

a13049

denison2:

I say when the invitations go out, you look at whose names they put on the invitation as the hostess...My mom and I are hosting a shower this weekend and we were supposed to have a 3rd host...(who told the MTB she wanted to host with us and never responded to our communications to her) and we didn't put her name on the invite as a hostess because she never offered to do anything. If all 4 friends are on the invite, treat them all the same, at least the day of the shower. 

 

i agree with this. If you hear some one put in extra work, you can take time to personally thank them later, maybe out at lunch one day or so etching, most people don't host showers for gifts,so I wouldn't worry about that part, but its nice when someone notices you extra efforts and gives a sincere thank you. 

rhubarb123

denison2:

I say when the invitations go out, you look at whose names they put on the invitation as the hostess...My mom and I are hosting a shower this weekend and we were supposed to have a 3rd host...(who told the MTB she wanted to host with us and never responded to our communications to her) and we didn't put her name on the invite as a hostess because she never offered to do anything. If all 4 friends are on the invite, treat them all the same, at least the day of the shower. 

 

I agree with this as well.  Sometimes not all of the hostesses name appear on the invite (especially if there are more than two).  Is it possible to kind of find out from the friends who ARE doing the work...what the others are doing?  It's possible that they will be doing all the "grunt work" when the time comes (setting up tables, chairs, decorations, clean up, etc.). 

MommyMeg123

Thank you all for the replies! They showed me the invitations before they sent them out, but the hostesses were not listed/mentioned. The two friends that I thought were doing all the planning invited me over last night & started talking about shower stuff so I just asked them if they were all four hosting still. They said they all are and the reason the other girls didn't really know what was up was that they only had a certain task. I get the feeling they're trying to avoid a "too many cooks" situation. Also, it seems that half of them want some things to be a surprise while the others didn't see the point so there was some confusion between them on that point, too. Whatever they plan, though, I know I'll love it. I appreciate everything they're doing & just wanted to be sure to show my gratitude to everyone helping.